I’ve consulted with my attorney and it’s ok to unlock this thread and return to public life.
Bunch of internet sleuths. I can’t even lurk a for couple of days without getting called out
you guys are awesome. Thank you for being gentle when I was losing my mind and documenting it. It’s surreal to go back and read my posts and have a record of my descent into madness. Cathartic even. Horrifying and cathartic.
I sort of remember snippets and events of the first few days. Days 3-7 are a dark and only vaguely tangible fugue. My imagination was in charge and that’s not nearly as fun as I might have thought. 2/7 do not recommend.
im alright now, I’ve had some time to relax and recharge. And the trauma was sufficient to knock benzos out of my life. That’s been a goal for a year for over a year. I’m a month drug free and it tastes so good.
Anyway I went to Mexico (did not die) and had a full blown mental and emotional melt down which would have been fine, relatively, had I not doused my spun out brain with handfuls of klonopin. That’s when the wheels came off and I went into a benzo blackout. You can google it if you’ve never had the experience. Like a booze blackout but longer deeper and scarier. I was off the reservation for about 6 days with another week of only a slim grasp on reality
A true account will take far longer to compose. Ive been off the grid, healing and recovering.
That’s about all I got for now. This will take me a while. It’s a hell of a story but a daunting one to tell.
