Mental Health thread

Subway

Phil Edwards status
Dec 31, 2008
7,698
1,440
113
LBNY
anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
 
Last edited:

~rwright~

Michael Peterson status
Apr 14, 2015
1,934
325
83
Los Angeles~California!
my mind is kinda out there,
but i'm a solo, cruisin' older dude, on kayakin' time,
which is slower that Hawaiian Time!

is gettin' kinda tough,
but at least i do not have a rad chick to give me sheeee~it, any-more, LAPD, thee boyz, advized me to stop 'dating' her...
it is just me, my wild~life animal friendz, + alllll my hundredz, err thousandz of friendz helping me, subliminally!
at least thee ocean still helpz out my, my, my mental sanity!!!

or this, too,
for if you've ever slammed there, ya know how it is:
Ol' ST ~ Fuckin' with Me, Subliminally!
keep it under control, Mr. Subway...
:waving:
 
Last edited:

CutnSnip

Michael Peterson status
Sep 11, 2018
2,071
1,437
113
Probably dropping in on you, California
Pretty much the same. not suicidal by any stretch but waking up and having to create things to do is getting very old and aggravating. Best shape of my entire life but sick to death of working out at this point. Ive done every hike/park LA has to offer and if the waves are sh!t, im totally lost.

I started cutting trailers for movies that I have laying around just to keep sharp and busy.

Today my Gma that passed away last August got her headstone finally - we were supposed to be there in person (NY) but had to zoom in. Glad we could be there in any regard but it was awkward and heartbbreaking we couldnt be there in person.

On the bright side, have a a call with a recruiter that has done me right in the past, got another inquiry about work from someone else last Friday, and I met a new Brazillian smokeshow - who seems to like me back so thats always nice. Now I just have to figure out how to tell the ex who Ive been hanging out with alot during quarantine that our relationship is going no where and I jut want to be friends. Yikes - im horrible at this sh!t.

Also started meditating with the headspace app. 23rd day in a row and its definitely been beneficial to my wellbeing, and sets up the rest of the day nicely. As someone here mentioned - its free right now for a year for the unemployed but i think anyone can setup - they didnt check any credentials or anything.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nowayout and racer1

Subway

Phil Edwards status
Dec 31, 2008
7,698
1,440
113
LBNY
i was doing a lot of head space on the train pre covid, i should start up again more consistently
 
  • Like
Reactions: CutnSnip

sdsrfr

Nep status
Jul 13, 2020
850
1,166
93
San Diego
You’re surely not alone. What makes things worse is the way it seems to hit people differently, sometimes within the same household.

Some of us are still operating under the status quo, going to an office they don’t share, working in an industry that is marching onwards. Plenty of fulfillment when clocking out heading back home to feel good about.

Others are laid off, furloughed or whatever you want to call them that are hopelessly eager to have purpose again.

The rest are somewhere in the middle and taking it day by day.
 

b.r.

Miki Dora status
Dec 19, 2003
5,240
974
113
Leucadia
m.youtube.com
i wish you the best mang, i know you are a good person and you are trying all the right things, when i am about to blow up on some kid at work i count to 10 it really works i haven;t hit a kid yet (27 years)! , btw my zuchinis are going off but the eggplant and strawberries were no bueno, my lichi tree flowered a little but then no fruit what a pisser, maybe next year, i only got 7 oranges on my dwarf orange tree, but the lime and lemon trees are going off, tomatoes all over the place, and the artichokes were abundant.

workouts! at the start of the summer i could only do about 5 pushups and no pullups because of my jacked right shoulder, i decided to just do one more a day , i'm up to 32 push ups per set now and 9 pullups, i'm still fat but stronger and fat!
 

Subway

Phil Edwards status
Dec 31, 2008
7,698
1,440
113
LBNY
i wish you the best mang, i know you are a good person and you are trying all the right things, when i am about to blow up on some kid at work i count to 10 it really works i haven;t hit a kid yet (27 years)! , btw my zuchinis are going off but the eggplant and strawberries were no bueno, my lichi tree flowered a little but then no fruit what a pisser, maybe next year, i only got 7 oranges on my dwarf orange tree, but the lime and lemon trees are going off, tomatoes all over the place, and the artichokes were abundant.

workouts! at the start of the summer i could only do about 5 pushups and no pullups because of my jacked right shoulder, i decided to just do one more a day , i'm up to 32 push ups per set now and 9 pullups, i'm still fat but stronger and fat!
yeah I'm pretty shredded now kind of. which is great, but i can't even go show of my new physique in the office, and make all the hotties jealous of my wife :)

Interesting "would you rather" question...Would you rather make a boat load of money and be kind of fat and mostly happy, or be thin and ripped and strong and make not so much money, and be miserable?

I am totally vain, but i love having a ton of save-able and spend-able income. Its a tough call. Although my wife came downstairs yesterday morning and just stopped short at the bottom of the stairs and said "holy sh!t, i'm married to an abercrombie model now"...But then again, after 14 years, she knows how to cheer me up.


aaaaaaand the puppy just barfed up some wax on the guest bed in my home office LOL. that actually cheered me up
 

b.r.

Miki Dora status
Dec 19, 2003
5,240
974
113
Leucadia
m.youtube.com
yeah I'm pretty shredded now kind of. which is great, but i can't even go show of my new physique in the office, and make all the hotties jealous of my wife :)

Interesting "would you rather" question...Would you rather make a boat load of money and be kind of fat and mostly happy, or be thin and ripped and strong and make not so much money, and be miserable?

I am totally vain, but i love having a ton of save-able and spend-able income. Its a tough call. Although my wife came downstairs yesterday morning and just stopped short at the bottom of the stairs and said "holy sh!t, i'm married to an abercrombie model now"...But then again, after 14 years, she knows how to cheer me up.


aaaaaaand the puppy just barfed up some wax on the guest bed in my home office LOL. that actually cheered me up
ah yes the zen moment of cleaning up dog barf, the mind is clear and focused on the task , well done grasshopper. as for your question , i make not so much money but am fatish and mostly happy
 
  • Like
Reactions: Subway

SteveT

Miki Dora status
Apr 11, 2005
4,840
340
83
Fortunately, I have stayed employed the whole time which keeps me occupied, It's my wife I worry about.
She is an independent contractor in the travel industry and pre-covid she was killing it.
Lots of big-time clients here in SB. Then it all stopped, not just a slow down, completely stopped. She seems to be OK but I can tell this $hit is killing her.
The worst part is there's talk it may take years before the industry comes back
Hang in there.
 

VaB

Michael Peterson status
Nov 14, 2004
2,777
220
63
Virginia Beach, VA
Hey Subway, why not see a counselor? You live in NYC, gotta be some good ones up there right?

You are certainly not alone in your stress or valuing your career and the lack of positive reinforcement has to take a toll.

Its strange, we spend all this time and effort on our physical health and less on our mental or emotional health. This is important enough to see a professional. I would see a psychologist or counselor not a psychiatrist. You don't need meds, you need someone to talk to who is training in mental health (even that sounds bad) We should call them personal brain trainers or something with less of a connotation
 

Subway

Phil Edwards status
Dec 31, 2008
7,698
1,440
113
LBNY
yeah the waves were pretty fun this morning, and the new faster lighter subway is surfing better than i maybe ever have. But even that came with some frustration. My fireman buddy showed up as i was walking down to the beach and he was like "lets walk down towards Lido it looks emptier" and i explained because those bars lost a lot of sand the last few weeks so theyre slow sandbars, but i'm a team player. so we walk down there and sure enough, it was drop and mush for a half hour. finally i paddled back to my jetty, got a few fun zippy ones. even waist high windswell i can really snap the Hypto around unlike anything i've ever ridden before.
 

Subway

Phil Edwards status
Dec 31, 2008
7,698
1,440
113
LBNY
Hey Subway, why not see a counselor? You live in NYC, gotta be some good ones up there right?

You are certainly not alone in your stress or valuing your career and the lack of positive reinforcement has to take a toll.

Its strange, we spend all this time and effort on our physical health and less on our mental or emotional health. This is important enough to see a professional. I would see a psychologist or counselor not a psychiatrist. You don't need meds, you need someone to talk to who is training in mental health (even that sounds bad) We should call them personal brain trainers or something with less of a connotation
i'm open to the idea, but it's another bill to pay, which stresses me out. talk about catch 22. "Get counseling to feel better about the collapse of your income, but it costs $100 per session" lol

Money4coffeeman, a long time erBBer, Long Beach native, and now Kauai dentist, made a great point a couple of years ago when he and i were surfing some random south shore Kauai spot- our brains are like high performance sports cars, especially in sales jobs (among others) and he said "you gotta maintain the engine to keep it running smooth"
 

obslop

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Feb 4, 2002
8,045
1,510
113
san diego, CA
I have been dealing with some heavy stuff and was close to a full on mental breakdown two weeks ago.
Then I surfed my brains out on south swell and got some quality time with my groms. That seemed to help for a bit.

Still mentally not ok but getting by. surfing is good for me , drinking at home alone is not!
stay strong. EVERYONE is under pressure with the virus. you are not alone.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Havoc

oneula

Miki Dora status
Jun 3, 2004
3,743
1,177
113
after four months, some of us working "lucky ones" are just physically and emotionally burnt out.
These "essential" front line workers such as hospital staff, first responders, grocers, maintenance crews and financial infrastructure workers have been going a million miles an hour since the lockdowns when everyone went into hiding and financial panic mode.

Workloads have been like over 200% normal volumes with 50%-75% less staff sheltering in place working remotely.
Seems like this term essential really meant sacrificial when it comes to a pandemic.
For those of us at risk essentials "required" to come in because of jobs we are responsible for everyday is a gamble where the odds gets worse for you over time as the contagion spreads due to others

This burnout is happening everywhere among those originally defined essential worker populations along with the psychological impacts they have been dealing within their occupations.
The damage done to this critical sector of society is being washed over by all the existential arguments the rest of society seems to be having among themselves.
And this population is again being taken for granted and many may not be there after all this is over for one reason or another. Then what when the next pandemic comes from wherever?

Like the PD after Floyd BLM, who would want to do these dangerous jobs for the compensation the provide?

Teachers will be next if we continue on the current path.