How to, or how not to, Tinder?

[Chocki]

I have a friend who was on Raya or whatever it’s called. It’s the high end dating platform for wicked rich and/or famous people and ridiculously good looking civilians

Fxd

When I lived in LA friend of mine “Shady Wade” (I christened him that) wanted to set me up with some single friend of him and his Mexican wife. She weren’t Mexican that’s just where they got married on the beach.

Never ended up happening. Later found out she was single bc she was separated at the time from her celebrity husband lol

 

[sdsrfr]

Lotta chicks talk online too about how at some point they’re down to bang/date a hot stylish older dude with his sh!t together

my understanding is there are a few immutable items that will affect a man’s stock as he ages. the older you are without any of the following, the more attractive you have become as a potential mate all else remaining the same.

- children
- baldness
- overweight/ unhealthy habits
- ex-wives
- long term on/off significant other
- unhealthy attachment to mother
- debt
- unemployment

aside from debt, none of these are financially related items that make us more bonafide.

I remember my wifes friend screaming “why is it so hard to find a 40yr old man without kids, ex wives, pattern baldness, no mommy issues and actually employed?”

my response - “they’re already taken“

 

[Mr Doof]

I remember my wifes friend screaming “why is it so hard to find a 40yr old man without kids, ex wives, pattern baldness, no mommy issues and actually employed?”

my response - “they’re already taken“

Every time I hear something similar from Sweetie-pie's gal-friends, I get the urge to say (with the wisdom gained from male pattern baldness),, "How about 4 out of 5?" while thinking, "Whew, glad the dropping T has slowed my reflexes and muted my verbal impulse.

And then I look around the tea party in the backyard with aforementioned tea and bottles of actually decent chardonnay, and think, "Hey, Sweetie-pie has got a decent hip to waist to bust ratio going on...I should just count my blessing and go before the delicious fermented fruit beverage undoes the only thing I really got going for me in this crowd: reticence.

 

[Chocki]

my understanding is there are a few immutable items that will affect a man’s stock as he ages. the older you are without any of the following, the more attractive you have become as a potential mate all else remaining the same.

- children
- baldness
- overweight/ unhealthy habits
- ex-wives
- long term on/off significant other
- unhealthy attachment to mother
- debt
- unemployment

aside from debt, none of these are financially related items that make us more bonafide.

I remember my wifes friend screaming “why is it so hard to find a 40yr old man without kids, ex wives, pattern baldness, no mommy issues and actually employed?”

my response - “they’re already taken“

Mine = theyre out there, they’re just banging younger chicks than you. Bitch don’t want no bald dick? See what you say when that bald dude looks like an extra from Vikings lol.

Planning a trip to Vegas soon so I may have changed location to there with Tinder passport just to look around and forgot to change it back. Apologized to the chicks that matched me saying I’m looking for someone to go out to eat at all the nice restaurants when I’m there. Blonde in the garden wants my number lol

 

[jkb]

my understanding is there are a few immutable items that will affect a man’s stock as he ages. the older you are without any of the following, the more attractive you have become as a potential mate all else remaining the same.

- children
- baldness
- overweight/ unhealthy habits
- ex-wives
- long term on/off significant other
- unhealthy attachment to mother
- debt
- unemployment

aside from debt, none of these are financially related items that make us more bonafide.

I remember my wifes friend screaming “why is it so hard to find a 40yr old man without kids, ex wives, pattern baldness, no mommy issues and actually employed?”

my response - “they’re already taken“

Wildcards that allow many of these to be forgiven:

1) A lot of money
2) A massive dong (like myself)

 

[Chocki]

Wildcards that allow many of these to be forgiven:

1) A wad of hundreds
2) A magnum dong (like myself)

Fxd

garden blonde was some Ukrainian chick in Vegas for a wedding. Blonde with huge fake? t!ts who lives in Vegas messaged me back lol

 

[keenfish]

Fxd

garden blonde was some Ukrainian chick in Vegas for a wedding. Blonde with huge fake? t!ts who lives in Vegas messaged me back lol

Bro.. you are trodding dangerously into the deep end of the pool.

 

[Chocki]

Bro.. you are trodding dangerously into the deep end of the pool.

Ukranian chicks a scammer what a surprise. Big tit blonde just moved to Vegas from Miami lol. Told her she can show me around when I come visit then asked how does it compare to Florida???

 

[Duffy LaCoronilla]

Fuck all that.

See a chick you’re attracted to? Walk up to her, tell her your attracted to her and ask if she wants to fuck.

If she says no, move on. If she says yes, move in.

Worked for me when I was single.

Still would work if I wanted to do that.

Women have decided within seconds of seeing you whether or not they’d fuck you. They have made the decision and it’s nearly impossible to make them change their minds.

You cannot fuck this up.

 

[Chocki]

Fuck all that.

See a chick you’re attracted to? Walk up to her, tell her your attracted to her and ask if she wants to fuck.

If she says no, move on. If she says yes, move in.

Worked for me when I was single.

Still would work if I wanted to do that.

Women have decided within seconds of seeing you whether or not they’d fuck you. They have made the decision and it’s nearly impossible to make them change their minds.

You cannot fuck this up.

Church. It’s ridiculously easy to fuck it up in the texting stage especially with the younger chicks. Theyre merciless when it comes to ghosting after a lame text when you’re trying to get off the app and set something up. They have so many other options that they will cut you loose in a heartbeat if they think you’re a dork.

Playing fields kinda limited bc small town but I’m definitely gonna expand my horizons with some trips to the city for a change of scenery along with hanging out where the classy hoes be at. Also be foolish not to be online no matter where you live. Cut and paste is your friend lol


Wish I had a pic of the half my age smoking hot brunette with the huge fucking snake tattoo on her arm that matched then unmatched with me last Tinder go round bc of a lame first message and justifiably so in hindsight. You want to talk about looking like trouble. Which actually should have been my opener lol

 

[grapedrink]

Algo says you’re not interesting enough.

wjen the algo deems you worthy you see all the beautiful people for free, and then a line of schmucks who paid to see your profile and swipe right.

apps need interesting profiles to thrive and those interesting profiles are granted a better free experience as a result.

I thought it was simply that a certain number of swipes are free, then after you have to pay I've been married for many years so IDK. That said I agree that there could be stuff programmed in like what you wrote above

 

[grapedrink]

The good news is the bar has been set lower than ever bc of the lack of real men around these days.

I have some single friends who say it is easier pickings now than ever, especially for IRL pickups. The younger millennials and Gen-Z are socially inept from excessive social media interwebz pron etc and can't pick up a chick to save their lives.

Women are constantly complaining online that it’s fuck boys who don’t give a sh!t about them bc of all their options or boring af nice guys.

Yet when given the choice they always choose to fukboi. Saying they are tired of it is just their way of coping for falling for it over and over and for their own overall relationship challenged BS.

 

[sdsrfr]

I thought it was simply that a certain number of swipes are free, then after you have to pay I've been married for many years so IDK. That said I agree that there could be stuff programmed in like what you wrote above

when I played the game years ago here were my observations:

the first faces you see are paying to get there. say no, they weren’t usually worth looking at.

next faces are organic likes that the algo fed them your profile. say yes to these to taste. these had highest probability of banging.

last faces are who the algo feeds you. If you’re in the winning side they’ll be attractive and then less so. use your remaining free likes to taste.

my trick was to let them come to me so whenever I swiped right it was always a match. no idea how to game the algo, but mine was definitely on winning mode.

 

[TeamScam]

Okay I never paid attention to this one and I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but a question for the married people...
How do people cheat with these apps without getting busted? My wife would know outside of a day if I did thin tinder stuff, as soon as I put a picture out there it's game over. One of her friends would surely see it and tell.
What gives how is that married ppl do it? They just dgaf and hope for the best?

 

[Duffy LaCoronilla]

Church. It’s ridiculously easy to fuck it up in the texting stage especially with the younger chicks. Theyre merciless when it comes to ghosting after a lame text when you’re trying to get off the app and set something up. They have so many other options that they will cut you loose in a heartbeat if they think you’re a dork.

Playing fields kinda limited bc small town but I’m definitely gonna expand my horizons with some trips to the city for a change of scenery along with hanging out where the classy hoes be at. Also be foolish not to be online no matter where you live. Cut and paste is your friend lol


Wish I had a pic of the half my age smoking hot brunette with the huge fucking snake tattoo on her arm that matched then unmatched with me last Tinder go round bc of a lame first message and justifiably so in hindsight. You want to talk about looking like trouble. Which actually should have been my opener lol

I’m telling you guys, you have to do this stuff in person.

No texts, no tinder, no apps.

Face to face.

 

[Ranga]

I’m telling you guys, you have to do this stuff in person.

No texts, no tinder, no apps.

Face to face.

Grocery store. Particularly the wine aisle.

 

[Chocki]

Grocery store. Particularly the wine aisle.

 

[sdsrfr]

Grocery store. Particularly the wine aisle.

Trader Joe’s. midday for yoga teachers and other spiritual types, 6pm for the corporate climber gals.

 

[Chocki]

Trader Joe’s. midday for yoga teachers and other spiritual types, 6pm for the corporate climber gals.

Make sure you’re well dressed(don’t neglect footwear) have a recent haircut and most importantly have been hitting the gym hard if you want to stack the chips in your favor/make life easy.

 

[Bob Dobbalina]

I thought it was simply that a certain number of swipes are free, then after you have to pay I've been married for many years so IDK. That said I agree that there could be stuff programmed in like what you wrote above

Yeah. That sounds right, actually.
You tap out for the day at a certain point, which should be a moment of self reflection...

Bumble was 1000 times better for me at the time.