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How to, or how not to, Tinder?
- Thread starter SurfFuerteventura
- Start date
Wait till you see the picture I've got.I think I might be creeped out by this entire thread.
I met this older chick on match in 2004 when I was working a lot in Ventura. I was 34. She was older. Like 50. She worked at a farm in Santa Paula that took care of animals that were in movies. Exotic animal farm. She invited me out for a tour and so we could get a look at each other. She was hot for an older woman. Tall, big fake t!ts. Perfect teeth and smile. Long brown hair down to her ass. I was pretty stoked. We walked around and then she took me into this barn. She was all of a sudden supper aggressive. Said I want your dick in my mouth. She started kissing me and pushed me down on a bale of hay and started taking my pants off. I was like WTF? She started going to town on my dick like a pro. 30 seconds into it her boss comes in and says WTF is going on here? I fully made eye contact with him while she was slurping away. He said you get your ass back to work and you get the fuck outta here. I pulled up my pants and ran to my car. Oh my god. She called me after work and said she couldnt wait to finish the job and she came to my hotel and my god she fucked and sucked me like a porn star.
Why do you get to say the funny stuff, I get admin messages for the same
look, you know we’re not allowed to call them that word anymore, what do you want the admins to do?
Epic. Also ngl bro but it sure sounds like you hooked up with an ex porn chick/star to me ??? Working at an exotic animal farm in the valley is exactly the kind of job I’d think you’d find a porn chick doing later in life.
Nothing wrong with a little hawgin'. We've all done it from time to time.Tried to edit it the best I could to make it at most PG-13. If this is too much the moderators are welcome to delete it. She has some serious cannons ready for war. They are dating "exclusively" now. May be true love
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Here is another one from ventura. I made the mistake of meeting a chick off Match that did not have many pics. Same time frame. 2004. Newly divorced and just killing it. I planned to meet Meg Ryan at a big brewery restaurant in thousand oaks. She said she looks like Meg Ryan. She did not. I'm sitting at a high top in the bar area and my waitress was a fucking fox. She said are you on an online date? I was like yea. She said why are meeting girls like this, you could do better. About 5 minutes later I see this geeky tall multi colored hair fruitloop with an 80s fashion look to her come in and wave at me. The waitress was right behind me and whispered in my ear it sucks to be you. This bitch was a trainwreck. Sat down. I wanted to run but for somevreason I didnt. She did not want food but ate most of mine. She put away 4 gin and tonics. And said awe right lets go. I said where? She said my house so we can fuck. I said no thanks. She was wasted. Pills too I think. I got her outside and asked how she got here and she said she drove. I said let me call you a taxi. She started screaming at me. She called me a pussy in front of all the people outside. Said what kind of man turns down a piece of ass this good. Throwing a fit. Finally sits on the curb and breaks down and cries. I offer her a taxi again and she starts slapping at me. I just bailed to my car and drove off. Knowing what I know now, I would have gone back inside and got that waitress's number. I took a break online dating for a few months after that fiasco.
I asked the buddy her weight. He said shes 5'6" 140-145ish most likely. He wanted to know why? Told him she's being judged online. He's not excited about it and wants it down even though it's edited. He says that he thinks it's love and doesn't want to ruin it.Nothing wrong with a little hawgin'. We've all done it from time to time.
Out of respect I'll remove it.
But that brings up a different question...5'6" 140-145ish is hawgin these days?
I'm getting to meet her on Sat evening. I'll report back my final verdict. I'll let the wife be the judge as you know how well women judge other women.
She must carry a lot of water weight in those sloppy Joe servin armsI asked the buddy her weight. He said shes 5'6" 140-145ish most likely. He wanted to know why? Told him she's being judged online. He's not excited about it and wants it down even though it's edited. He says that he thinks it's love and doesn't want to ruin it.
Out of respect I'll remove it.
But that brings up a different question...5'6" 140-145ish is hawgin these days?
I'm getting to meet her on Sat evening. I'll report back my final verdict. I'll let the wife be the judge as you know how well women judge other women.
Could be an extension of the chest. Looked like D's.
"In 2004 of my 1000th day in a row of getting barreled in SoCal . . . ."
You know I'm just funnin'.I asked the buddy her weight. He said shes 5'6" 140-145ish most likely. He wanted to know why? Told him she's being judged online. He's not excited about it and wants it down even though it's edited. He says that he thinks it's love and doesn't want to ruin it.
Out of respect I'll remove it.
But that brings up a different question...5'6" 140-145ish is hawgin these days?
I'm getting to meet her on Sat evening. I'll report back my final verdict. I'll let the wife be the judge as you know how well women judge other women.
Looking forward to your report when you meet her in person.
D size natchies are nothing to be looked down on... unless they are pointing down?