Assuming this wasn't a shotgun wedding you knew she was controlling when you married her.
Sorry but you got yourself into this.
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Do you ever lie to your spouse?
- Thread starter Boneroni
- Start date
Sorry but you got yourself into this.
Asking for marital advice? You've come to the right place. Our certified counselors are standing by.
These things are always MUCH deeper than what on the surface.
She's angry about this one thing you lied about. But this goes way deeper. You've got to dig to find the true source of her anguish. I'm not joking when I say this could go all the way back to something that happened in her childhood, or college, or with a previous bf, or she has been angry at you for something else for a long time. It probably has nothing to do with what she appears to be angry about.
Obviously be careful digging too deep for the answer. It could bring up deeper concerns for your relationship.
One college quarter of ge-required intro psychology class talking. Trust me on this.
These things are always MUCH deeper than what on the surface.
She's angry about this one thing you lied about. But this goes way deeper. You've got to dig to find the true source of her anguish. I'm not joking when I say this could go all the way back to something that happened in her childhood, or college, or with a previous bf, or she has been angry at you for something else for a long time. It probably has nothing to do with what she appears to be angry about.
Obviously be careful digging too deep for the answer. It could bring up deeper concerns for your relationship.
One college quarter of ge-required intro psychology class talking. Trust me on this.
You should have traded that one in when she tripped about the porn. They make models now that come with porn approval, some even have a vagina sharing feature.
So it was already a sore spot and you lied twice about it?
Bad move.
How would you feel if she lied to you about a previous sore spot?
Does she lie to you? That's another important question.
did you ever post about that on one of the dwarf-touch threads? i cant remember...
Trust is important
Without trust, everything is at risk
If she’s controlling, don’t let her control you.
If she’s pissed, deal with it however you need to, but don’t lie
There may be things you don’t agree on and maybe you just agree to disagree but without lying
Don’t fight in front of the kids
If you need to lie in order to make the relationship work, give that some thought
My worthless 2 cents
This thread has me triggered af!! To close to home for me. Speak your truth, period. Im about a year out of a 15 year marriage. Many issues from way before I came along but lieing about smoking and porn were a couple for us that led to the tipping point. Also, take note that we did both of those together numerous times on her suggestion. It was the lieing about it that didnt sit well with her. Be your authentic self. If she doesnt like your authentic self then theres someone out there who will. Lieing is exhausting. I could go on and on, but you are your strongest in your truth when it all comes down. Relationships are tough.
He's apparently married to a control freak.
This is a personality aspect that is hard wired.
If he plays with the wiring in the confines of a marital relationship he's gonna get fried.
Exactly.
This applies to that part where you asked if it's normal your spouse knows everything about what you do.
Be your authentic self
If she is a control freak married to someone who doesn’t want to be controlled, well, that sounds like somethings got to give
Control freaks may be able to stop being controlling on some things
I don’t believe that’s a hard wired thing as much as a learned behavior that can be unlearned, if they want to
shoots, sorry to say this, butt... you may have married the wrong girl.
I too have nothing to compare to, well, except my two older brothers who both made the HUGE mistake of marrying different versions of our mother... Butt, mine?
Caught me watching porn one time, she asked me to stop and phook her instead.
Smoking weed? She gets pissed all right, that it makes her paranoid or triggers anxiety attacks, cause in high school, she put the "HIGH" in the school... used to smoke me under the table.
As far as lying to her?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
(Replace Barcelona, Madrid, San Francisco, etc... with Vegas. Only time I went there, did nothing to lie to my spouse about, except win a bunch of loot!
I too have nothing to compare to, well, except my two older brothers who both made the HUGE mistake of marrying different versions of our mother... Butt, mine?
Caught me watching porn one time, she asked me to stop and phook her instead.
Smoking weed? She gets pissed all right, that it makes her paranoid or triggers anxiety attacks, cause in high school, she put the "HIGH" in the school... used to smoke me under the table.
As far as lying to her?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
(Replace Barcelona, Madrid, San Francisco, etc... with Vegas. Only time I went there, did nothing to lie to my spouse about, except win a bunch of loot!
They can only be tempered for short periods of time or by legal restrictions.
My inlaws never divorced but figured out they get along best when they don't live under the same roof.
Yes that to me seems intolerably controlling and unreasonable. Maybe time to play hard ball and call her on that Crap.
You seem great together, these things come and go.
Being controlled is annoying, but you gotta ask yourself... is smoking weed worth the trouble to you? Sometimes it's just easier to knuckle under, pick your fights. There will always be something new to disagree about down the line.
Being controlled is annoying, but you gotta ask yourself... is smoking weed worth the trouble to you? Sometimes it's just easier to knuckle under, pick your fights. There will always be something new to disagree about down the line.
I have been married 26 years. i don't know sh!t about being married, or even about women in general. I just know what works for us.
If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
This is so true. I'd have a really hard time lying to my wife or kid (that's another discussion). Luckily they haven't asked any embarrassing questions.
Now my students, when they ask me about drugs, I reply, "I do not, nor do I know anyone, who has ever used drugs."
This is so true. I'd have a really hard time lying to my wife or kid (that's another discussion). Luckily they haven't asked any embarrassing questions.
Now my students, when they ask me about drugs, I reply, "I do not, nor do I know anyone, who has ever used drugs."