Do you ever lie to your spouse?

Boneroni

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Mar 5, 2012
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Why?

About what?

I promise I won't tell eunice.

Asking because I told my wife I've been smoking pot for 6 months without telling her, and you'd think that I slept with her sister based on how she's reacting. She claims that I am dishonest with her so often, but in 14 years, she can only think of this and when I lied to her about porn.
I get that she is hurt that I was not honest with her, but the for fvcks sake this is ridiculous.

I really just don't know what is normal in a marriage (I'm told mine is pretty fvcked up), so any personal perspectives from Y'all would be much appreciated.

Thanks. For your troubles:
 
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casa_mugrienta

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My wife is a patient woman who gives me free range.

But would she be pissed? Yeah. For a few hours and maybe a grumble at the end of the day.

It'd be one of those things she keeps in her quiver to shoot at me during an appropriate moment.

But shouting angry, or pissed for days? No. Not unless I actually lied to her and said I wasn't smoking.

What do you mean you lied to her about porn?
 

Autoprax

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I would never lie to my ex wife and she would get mad at me when I told her the truth.

I learned to lie late in the game.

I've got a few things I will take to the grave.
 

Boneroni

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Not unless I actually lied to her and said I wasn't smoking.
I did actively lie twice about that. This comes after she freaked out 5 years ago when I got a medical weed card and she claimed that me smiking could ruin her career (not true) and that she would leave me if I didn't stop. Now, though, she's vaporizing CBD for pain and we have smoked together a few times over the years (because she wanted to).

What do you mean you lied to her about porn?
She found out I was watching porn, asked me to stop, I said I did, then years later she found out I was still watching.
 
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brukuns

Kelly Slater status
Mar 5, 2014
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Why?

About what?

I promise I won't tell eunice.

Asking because I told my wife I've been smoking pot for 6 months without telling her, and you'd think that I slept with her sister based on how she's reacting. She claims that I am dishonest with her so often, but in 14 years, she can only think of this and when I lied to her about porn.
I get that she is hurt that I was not honest with her, but the for fvcks sake this is ridiculous.

I really just don't know what is normal in a marriage (I'm told mine is pretty fvcked up), so any personal perspectives from Y'all would be much appreciated.

Thanks. For your troubles:
You probably should have kept lying. lol.

I get where you're coming from. My wife gets annoyed by pot because she knows I abuse it (thankfully it's just pot). I tried keeping from her when I get more (because it's too fucking often) but I would always let it slip and that would make things worse.

She's probably more mad you kept it from her than that you smoked pot for 6 months.

In the end I'd say either lie and really stick with it, or don't even bother. Problem is those who can easily lie and stick with it are probably not the most trustworthy.
 
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brukuns

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I did actively lie twice about that. This comes after she freaked out 5 years ago when I got a medical weed card and she claimed that me smiking could ruin her career (not true) and that she would leave me if I didn't stop. Now, though, she's vaporizing CBD for pain and we have smoked together a few times over the years (because she wanted to).



She found out I was watching porn, asked me to stop, I said I did, then years later she found out I was still watching.
If my wife wanted me to stop watching porn she would give up as soon as she saw my list of kinky demands :dancing: .
 

donuts

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Jan 23, 2005
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@ the fun house
I did actively lie twice about that. This comes after she freaked out 5 years ago when I got a medical weed card and she claimed that me smiking could ruin her career (not true) and that she would leave me if I didn't stop. Now, though, she's vaporizing CBD for pain and we have smoked together a few times over the years (because she wanted to).



She found out I was watching porn, asked me to stop, I said I did, then years later she found out I was still watching.
you’re probably lying to us right now, so how could your wife ever trust you ?

tell us the truth - that you’ve acted in numerous porn fliks - you can keep if they were hetero or not under your hat (so to speak...).

:dancing:
 

Boneroni

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The problem is that she is very controlling about anything I'm doing in my life, so the way I see it, I either lie and take care of my own mental health, or I tell the truth and be subject to her insane demands.

For example, yesterday I went on a long run, told her I was gonig to smoke before, she asked me not to because I would be around our daughter 3 hours later. I said no, and that there's no way I'd still be high 3 hours and 9 miles later. She then tried to negotiate my exact doseage.

Then, 6 hours later after aqsking me probably 5 times if I'm still high, she says that my dizzines is probably from taking one hit of weed that day, and has nothing to do with running 9 miles or feeling pretty depress because of this shitty situation.

That's controlling, right? Or is it not? Fck, I really don't have anything to compare it to.
 
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donuts

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What would disturb me is when people lie when they don't have to.
just think about all the ones that do that to you, and you never suspect, or catch on to them.


a lot of people do it just to keep in practice.

or for fun.

they enjoy making a fool out of you.


look at some of the posters here !


:shark:
 

Autoprax

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Jan 24, 2011
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just think about all the ones that do that to you, and you never suspect, or catch on to them.


a lot of people do it just to keep in practice.

or for fun.

they enjoy making a fool out of you.


look at some of the posters here !


:shark:
YEs, yes, yes.

When my students tell me a story, I always tell them, "Keep in mind that I am lied to on a daily basis. So I have to take everything you say to me with a grain of salt."

They don't like this.
 
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Boneroni

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Mar 5, 2012
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So do you guys consider it a reasonable expectation that a married couple is TOTALLY transparent about everything?
Including what you think about, where you go, and when and where you surf?
Talking about lies of omission here, too.
 

casa_mugrienta

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So do you guys consider it a reasonable expectation that a married couple is TOTALLY transparent about everything?
Including what you think about, where you go, and when and where you surf?
Talking about lies of omission here, too.
If transparent you mean have knowledge of, yes. That doesn't mean I have to tell my wife where/what I'm doing it means if she asks I'm not going to lie.

With the exception of your thoughts which is weird and pretty impossible.
 

Autoprax

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So do you guys consider it a reasonable expectation that a married couple is TOTALLY transparent about everything?
Including what you think about, where you go, and when and where you surf?
Talking about lies of omission here, too.
That you carried on the deception for so long would irritate me.

You blew it.

You should have never told her.

Once you lie, it's got to be all in.

On the lie continuum I am far below the average liar. (I just don't like to do it.)

The cool thing about that is when you have to lie, people never suspect it.

I've had to lie for my life (metaphorically speaking), a couple of times and, though I hated it, my performance was tour de force.
 

Havoc

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Why?

About what?

I promise I won't tell eunice.

Asking because I told my wife I've been smoking pot for 6 months without telling her, and you'd think that I slept with her sister based on how she's reacting. She claims that I am dishonest with her so often, but in 14 years, she can only think of this and when I lied to her about porn.
I get that she is hurt that I was not honest with her, but the for fvcks sake this is ridiculous.

I really just don't know what is normal in a marriage (I'm told mine is pretty fvcked up), so any personal perspectives from Y'all would be much appreciated.

Thanks. For your troubles:

If you think you’re getting away with it she already knows
 
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