Ah yes, if it weren't for my $27 plates of avocado toast every other Sunday and $12 crowlers of craft beer I could afford a $1.4M home
FTR I am a homeowner because I got in early enough.
Check the "should I stay or should I go" post from Boneroni. I don't know his personal finance particulars but basically a $495k condo with a $500 HOA had an estimated monthly payment of $4800. Without the HOA that would maybe get you up to $550-600k with the same payment. $600K gets you jack sh!t on the coast (as in coastal county/101 corridor, not walking distance) almost everywhere between TJ and Sonoma County.
A $4800 payment is roughly a bimonthly paycheck of a $150-160K/year W2 earner. You are well into the upper 10-15% of income earners at that point. If you need 2 paychecks to make a payment, whether from a single earner or both spouses, you probably can't afford it.
Usually in Class A+ districts it is more economical to rent than buy. The reverse is true the shittier the area/neighborhood gets.