ErBB Roundtable: Male Victimhood

[Kento]

So, I took a job at Miramar Naval Air Station to direct the retail, w'house, fuel stations, commissary, base exchange internal security staff. This was after the 'tail hook' scandal but before Congresswoman Schroder (sp?) kicked the Navy of the base and sent them as far away as possible (Fallon, NV) for misdeeds.

I had a competent boss we'll call Don who was of Italian heritage. He could retire any time due to his long and distinguished career. Don was nice to everyone, used his hands a lot when he talked.

After a staff meeting, I was speaking with one of my detectives (a female). Don approached and told us about the up-coming air show and preparing for the on-slaught of civilian's who will be visiting for the air show. In the conversation he told the detective what a great job she had been doing and lightly put his hand on her upper arm.

After Don left, the detective came into my office and told me she. "...felt uncomfortable when Don touched her arm."

Under the federal law dealing with sexual harassment, it is the victim who is responsible for reporting an incident to management. If a manager fails to deal directly with the allegation with some degree of immediacy, the manager can be fined up to $X thousands (loost memory is such a waste). It became my responsibility to go to the senior military officer and thus, report my boss. It then became the officer and my responsibility to bring Don in for counseling and, to formally warn him his 'touching conduct' would not be tolerated. When we spoke to don, his face became ashen... almost gray. I thought he was going to collapse. A letter had to be placed in his personnel file and he had to formally apologize to the detective.

The poor SOB retired within the same month. So sad...

I've been to Fallon. Being relocated there is some pretty rough punishment.

US 95 is a scary thing.

Worse than Fallon is Walker Lake

There are a lot of desert people who have multiple screws loose. Future (present?) Kaczynskis.

The place trips me out the most out that way is Devil's Hole. Creepy. And never been mapped. No one has a clue how deep it is or where it connects to.

Yeah, it's no coincidence that the turnoff to Area 51 is off 95. Trying to find a place to camp for the night, we accidentally made that turnoff. You can drive right through, no gates, but the Trespassers Will Be Killed governnent sign is a great dissuader. The south side of 95 seemed less sketchy.

Couldn't help myself. Looked on Google maps. They made the sign nicer but still no gates. For some reason, street view doesn't go any further.

 

[hammies]

In some people's minds, white straight Christian cis-gender American males are the worst people in the world's history, responsible for the majority of humanity's problems. People who are true believers in this philosophy are to be avoided at all costs, since they see all of life through this lens and are never ever ever going to shup up about it.

 

[Ifallalot]

Then there's Goldfield and that other city (Mina?) that are real-life ghost towns

Talking about this actually is making me want to take that drive again

My good buddy that I took the nationwide road trip with had to go to Colorado so he decided to take US 50. Its apparently even more desolate than 95. I like how there's a sign in Sacramento that says "Ocean City MD 3017" right where the 50 starts

 

[Kento]

In some people's minds, white straight Christian cis-gender American males are the worst people in the world's history, responsible for the majority of humanity's problems. People who are true believers in this philosophy are to be avoided at all costs, since they see all of life through this lens and are never ever ever going to shup up about it.

At least the Jews are finally off the hook.

 

[Ifallalot]

In some people's minds, white straight Christian cis-gender American males are the worst people in the world's history, responsible for the majority of humanity's problems. People who are true believers in this philosophy are to be avoided at all costs, since they see all of life through this lens and are never ever ever going to shup up about it.

You're 100% correct.

 

[sussle]

So, I took a job at Miramar Naval Air Station to direct the retail, w'house, fuel stations, commissary, base exchange internal security staff. This was after the 'tail hook' scandal but before Congresswoman Schroder (sp?) kicked the Navy of the base and sent them as far away as possible (Fallon, NV) for misdeeds.

I had a competent boss we'll call Don who was of Italian heritage. He could retire any time due to his long and distinguished career. Don was nice to everyone, used his hands a lot when he talked.

After a staff meeting, I was speaking with one of my detectives (a female). Don approached and told us about the up-coming air show and preparing for the on-slaught of civilian's who will be visiting for the air show. In the conversation he told the detective what a great job she had been doing and lightly put his hand on her upper arm.

After Don left, the detective came into my office and told me she. "...felt uncomfortable when Don touched her arm."

Under the federal law dealing with sexual harassment, it is the victim who is responsible for reporting an incident to management. If a manager fails to deal directly with the allegation with some degree of immediacy, the manager can be fined up to $X thousands (loost memory is such a waste). It became my responsibility to go to the senior military officer and thus, report my boss. It then became the officer and my responsibility to bring Don in for counseling and, to formally warn him his 'touching conduct' would not be tolerated. When we spoke to don, his face became ashen... almost gray. I thought he was going to collapse. A letter had to be placed in his personnel file and he had to formally apologize to the detective.

The poor SOB retired within the same month. So sad...

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

 

[casa_mugrienta]

So, I took a job at Miramar Naval Air Station to direct the retail, w'house, fuel stations, commissary, base exchange internal security staff. This was after the 'tail hook' scandal but before Congresswoman Schroder (sp?) kicked the Navy of the base and sent them as far away as possible (Fallon, NV) for misdeeds.

I had a competent boss we'll call Don who was of Italian heritage. He could retire any time due to his long and distinguished career. Don was nice to everyone, used his hands a lot when he talked.

After a staff meeting, I was speaking with one of my detectives (a female). Don approached and told us about the up-coming air show and preparing for the on-slaught of civilian's who will be visiting for the air show. In the conversation he told the detective what a great job she had been doing and lightly put his hand on her upper arm.

After Don left, the detective came into my office and told me she. "...felt uncomfortable when Don touched her arm."

Under the federal law dealing with sexual harassment, it is the victim who is responsible for reporting an incident to management. If a manager fails to deal directly with the allegation with some degree of immediacy, the manager can be fined up to $X thousands (loost memory is such a waste). It became my responsibility to go to the senior military officer and thus, report my boss. It then became the officer and my responsibility to bring Don in for counseling and, to formally warn him his 'touching conduct' would not be tolerated. When we spoke to don, his face became ashen... almost gray. I thought he was going to collapse. A letter had to be placed in his personnel file and he had to formally apologize to the detective.

The poor SOB retired within the same month. So sad...

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

Holy fuck

Proving the point...with people like you around it is a dangerous time indeed.

 

[Kento]

Then there's Goldfield and that other city (Mina?) that are real-life ghost towns

Talking about this actually is making me want to take that drive again

My good buddy that I took the nationwide road trip with had to go to Colorado so he decided to take US 50. Its apparently even more desolate than 95. I like how there's a sign in Sacramento that says "Ocean City MD 3017" right where the 50 starts

I love taking off-the-beaten-track roads as you get to see a lot of cool stuff. The 50 ends in Utah now where it connects with the 70, right? That stretch through Nevada is desolate all right.

Environmental geology classes took me a lot of cool places, including a guided tour inside Yucca Mountain. No idea how we pulled that off. Lot of cool places in that area.

Bodie is another one of those ghost towns. Been wanting to take the kids there once they're a little older. Some of those places are cool to check out although the old prison/current (?) radar base near Kramer Junction is tweeker creepy and I'd probably want an MLRS or similar for backup while exploring there.

 

[bird.LA]

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

Holy fuck

Proving the point...with people like you around it is a dangerous time indeed.

People like sussle who understand what's been established as inappropriate workplace behavior for decades make it more dangerous for upstanding young men like yourself? Please explain.

 

[casa_mugrienta]

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

Holy fuck

Proving the point...with people like you around it is a dangerous time indeed.

People like sussle who understand what's been established as inappropriate workplace behavior for decades make it more dangerous for upstanding young men like yourself? Please explain.

We're talking about a "good job" pat on the back or momentary touch on the shoulder in the presence of other employees.

To automatically assume this is a fireable "should known better" offense is ludicrous.

We're not talking about a workplace hugger, a creepy Joe Biden rubdown, or anything remotely close for that matter.

Perhaps we should do away with handshakes too.

 

[bird.LA]

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

Holy fuck

Proving the point...with people like you around it is a dangerous time indeed.

People like sussle who understand what's been established as inappropriate workplace behavior for decades make it more dangerous for upstanding young men like yourself? Please explain.

We're talking about a "good job" pat on the back or momentary touch on the shoulder in the presence of other employees.

To automatically assume this is a fireable "should known better" offense is ludicrous.

We're not talking about a workplace hugger, a creepy Joe Biden rubdown, or anything remotely close for that matter.

Perhaps we should do away with handshakes too.

The guy in the story wasn't fired. And still, yes, he should have known better. I'm sure people in his position today do.

Pay attention to those sexual harassment trainings your companies make you do people. They're trying to help you here. (Well, that and absolve themselves of responsibility for your dumbass actions.)

 

[NDG]

should of read - its a scary time for rape-y men.

Men w/o the urge to act on sexually deviant acts have nothing to worry about.

If only that were actually true

Im mean sure, walk the line and Im sure it'll bite you one day. Surround yourself with good people and dont rape anyone and you should be OK


Oh, and If and when you do get falsely accused of something, dont act like Kavanaugh when confronted about it. Should help as well.

 

[sussle]

So, I took a job at Miramar Naval Air Station to direct the retail, w'house, fuel stations, commissary, base exchange internal security staff. This was after the 'tail hook' scandal but before Congresswoman Schroder (sp?) kicked the Navy of the base and sent them as far away as possible (Fallon, NV) for misdeeds.

I had a competent boss we'll call Don who was of Italian heritage. He could retire any time due to his long and distinguished career. Don was nice to everyone, used his hands a lot when he talked.

After a staff meeting, I was speaking with one of my detectives (a female). Don approached and told us about the up-coming air show and preparing for the on-slaught of civilian's who will be visiting for the air show. In the conversation he told the detective what a great job she had been doing and lightly put his hand on her upper arm.

After Don left, the detective came into my office and told me she. "...felt uncomfortable when Don touched her arm."

Under the federal law dealing with sexual harassment, it is the victim who is responsible for reporting an incident to management. If a manager fails to deal directly with the allegation with some degree of immediacy, the manager can be fined up to $X thousands (loost memory is such a waste). It became my responsibility to go to the senior military officer and thus, report my boss. It then became the officer and my responsibility to bring Don in for counseling and, to formally warn him his 'touching conduct' would not be tolerated. When we spoke to don, his face became ashen... almost gray. I thought he was going to collapse. A letter had to be placed in his personnel file and he had to formally apologize to the detective.

The poor SOB retired within the same month. So sad...

it's a sad story...and i sympathize with the guy. i know Italians well - maybe it's a cultural thing?

but it's not a surprising outcome, nor should it have been to him. does anyone here really need to be told not put your hands on a coworker/customer/colleague/subordinate? i've spent 25+ years in other people's offices/workspaces - it's a no-frickin'-brainer. i really don't understand why it would be a surprise to anyone that someone would object to being touched in that context.

Holy fuck

Proving the point...with people like you around it is a dangerous time indeed.

it's workplace protocol 101. not some vague, fuzzy, PC thing - it's a broad bright clear line. a handshake is really the only physical contact in a workplace environment that's universally socially acceptable and the protocol for that (congratulatory or introductory) is clearly established. those are the rules - not my rules, but the rules, nevertheless. it's pretty clear and simple - keep your hands to yourself. it's not complicated.

 

[casa_mugrienta]

Like I said, times are dangerous.

If someone can be forced to resign over something so innocuous they can be forced to resign over a handshake or looking at someone "funny".

 

[Billy Ocean]

If you’re in a position of power, it’s a different situation

 

[Lance Mannion]

I've been self identifying as a 32/32nd's Chippewa Squaw lately just to be safe.

 

[bird.LA]

Like I said, times are dangerous.

If someone can be forced to resign over something so innocuous they can be forced to resign over a handshake or looking at someone "funny".

If you can't work without touching your coworkers you don't deserve to hold your job. This is nothing new.

Nobody's getting fired over a handshake. GTFO.

 

[hammies]

I think it's a key workplace skill to know your coworkers and be sure of how you can act around who. I have some female coworkers who are super cool and some who I wouldn't touch under any circumstances, or even act friendly with.

 

[Lance Mannion]

Like I said, times are dangerous.

If someone can be forced to resign over something so innocuous they can be forced to resign over a handshake or looking at someone "funny".

If you can't work without touching your coworkers you don't deserve to hold your job. This is nothing new.

Nobody's getting fired over a handshake. GTFO.

What if you work at Cheetahs?

 

[NDG]

Is it any wonder woman are scared? this our fucking president for god sakes. skip to 37 seconds yea I know CNN blah blah. These rallies are toxic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56k5_fD3-Ms