Bugmen will eat bugs

sussle

Phil Edwards status
Oct 11, 2009
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same here. i made both my kids work, save money, buy components, and build their own PC gaming rigs. still ended up in the never-ending battle over screen time, but delayed it a bit, got some yardwork out of 'em, and motivated them to do some learning/building along the way
this is actually the best way of all. kudos to you, dad :shaka:

my kid thought he wanted a "gaming pc" for his birthday a couple years ago but he didn't really know what all that meant (in terms of specs - ram, graphics card, processor etc etc etc). i encouraged him to to take the deep dive to learn what he really wanted but he was not inclined to do so....so in the end, i went on TigerDirect and picked a relatively sweet lease return only for a few hundred bucks (but pretty well fixed for the money - 16 gigs ram, I7 processor, good video capability etc_)....and picked up a new big curved monitor for a little more, so he got the look of the set-up he thought he wanted. and that was it - if he wants anything more advanced in the future, he will have to take the journey and be able to explain to me why he needs it and how he's gonna pay for it.

and with screen time, i don't ask twice anymore - i can control his pc and his internet access remotely - i ask once (or he hits his limit for the day). after that, i just kick him off and shut him down, no arguments.
 
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Pico

Duke status
Aug 20, 2010
15,948
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SUP Nation
and with screen time, i don't ask twice anymore - i can control his pc and his internet access remotely - i ask once (or he hits his limit for the day). after that, i just kick him off and shut him down, no arguments.
No Freak outs?
 

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
60,257
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Yeah I fucked up buying it in the first place. I got it just for Flight Simulator and then he found out all the other games and just became locked in and tantrum if you tried to pull him off it. He began negotiating his behavior for games he wanted. Really though the transformation in his behavior was fucked up. He is doing much better now.
The kids loose their sh!t when I tell them to stay off their phones in class.

Now I say, "Go outside and use your phone."

I walk around and 95% of the people are looking down at their phones.

It's gross.
 

sussle

Phil Edwards status
Oct 11, 2009
6,492
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No Freak outs?
not at this point - he knows better. he has a clock on his phone, he can tell time, he knows his time limits (and they are still somewhat excessive, imho - he gets 2 hours, every other day) and he knows our expectations. and he knows that any inappropriate reaction could easily impact his ability to get back on. he's 13 - he's learned that won't get him anywhere.

our ISP is ATT - we use their Home Network app to set up a schedule (it sucks actually - not nearly granular enough, but it kicks him offline at the appointed time). he has a phone that he gets a good bit more leeway with (like on the school bus etc), but we use the free Google Family link app that let's us shut down any app and/or lock the phone altogether as needed. (this is useful - i can lock Youtube but unlock Spotify so he can listen to music etc)

that being said, he's always angling for a way to get more time - "i need to get online to do homework" or "can i go online to look up this " or "can you unock my phone for that" etc. so it never ends - and we have not even gotten to social media yet. i think he's the only one of his friends not on Snapchat/Tik Tok/etc and we're feeling the pressure about all that. it's an ongoing battle we will lose eventually but i'll hold out as long as we can and go down swinging.
:cursing:
 
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grapedrink

Duke status
May 21, 2011
21,397
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A Beach
Things have really changed since the days of walkie talkies, scrambled PBS breast exams and Sears Catalogs.
The good old days? :unsure:
 
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grapedrink

Duke status
May 21, 2011
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A Beach
The reality of parenting these days:
View attachment 140364
The electronics are no doubt a major component and probably the most difficult to overcome.

However you also have the helicopter parenting that preceded it. Parents scared of their kids being abducted, so gone are the days of playing outside until the streetlights came on. Can’t play dodgeball, tackle football or with toy guns because that encourages violence, bullying and school shootings. Electronics were both the missing link and the final nail.
 
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sussle

Phil Edwards status
Oct 11, 2009
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The electronics are no doubt a major component and probably the most difficult to overcome.

However you also have the helicopter parenting that preceded it. Parents scared of their kids being abducted, so gone are the days of playing outside until the streetlights came on. Can’t play dodgeball, tackle football or with toy guns because that encourages violence, bullying and school shootings. Electronics were both the missing link and the final nail.
we don't worry about any of that and tbh, i don't know any parents in my neighborhood who actually fit that description - do you? my guy made the school football team this year (wide receiver/middle linebacker) and most of his friends did too .

if i had my way, he might not even have a phone. but his mom wants to at least know where he is, and i can't fault that. probably just as well - no phone would be a very hard sell in this day and age.
 

PRCD

Kelly Slater status
Feb 25, 2020
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The electronics are no doubt a major component and probably the most difficult to overcome.

However you also have the helicopter parenting that preceded it. Parents scared of their kids being abducted, so gone are the days of playing outside until the streetlights came on. Can’t play dodgeball, tackle football or with toy guns because that encourages violence, bullying and school shootings. Electronics were both the missing link and the final nail.
These threats are all way overblown. Lenore Skenazy talks all about this. Ironically, the electronics are a real threat. Tech execs don’t let their kids have them.
 

hammies

Tom Curren status
Apr 8, 2006
10,664
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The kids loose their sh!t when I tell them to stay off their phones in class.

Now I say, "Go outside and use your phone."

I walk around and 95% of the people are looking down at their phones.

It's gross.
More than once I snuck up behind a kid on their phone and looked over their shoulder to read what they were doing. Embarrasses the hell out of them, even when what they were doing was totally innocuous.
 
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afoaf

Duke status
Jun 25, 2008
43,117
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the sky is falling, guys!

and by sky i mean the food served in hospitals

you should have seen what they fed us at UCLA, a private hospital