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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Boneroni

Boneroni

Tom Curren status
Mar 5, 2012
12,114
1,947
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Goleta
santacruzin said:
well she sent me a message me this morning

”I wasn’t bluffing , you broke up with me”

what a mind fook!
Click to expand...
Fck man, that's really messed up.

This is in no way your fault. She is being heavily manipulative by claiming you are responsible for her choices and actions. Not true.

I've got a thought experiment for that might help:
Imagine that night went differently. You worried about her harming herself and you acted differently.
K, so crisis averted for that night.
But what about the next night?
Can you handle hours and hours of manipulative BS?
And the next night?
Can you keep ignoring the dysfunction in order to spare her?
And the next night?
And the next?
And the next?
Etc.....

If that does not sound sustainable to you, congratulations.
You are sane and you made the right choice.
 
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Boneroni

Boneroni

Tom Curren status
Mar 5, 2012
12,114
1,947
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Goleta
santacruzin said:
Her intent was for me to find her dead body in the morning. fook!!
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Dude, soooooooo messed up.
You need to think about yourself.
Aside from your worry for her, are you physically and mentally capable to take care of her in the way she is asking (demanding)?

If not, then she NEEDS something/someone else. In this case, it sounds like she needs mental health professionals, not a regular old good guy like you.
You've done enough. Fck, sounds like you've done more than your share to help her. Kudos and I'm sorry it didn't work.
 
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Ranga

Ranga

Billy Hamilton status
Dec 31, 2008
1,694
1,437
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santacruzin said:
I am trying to . I have been messaging her friends to try and get them to rally. I think they are over it too.

Yea she is damaged and has feelings emotions but so do I!
Her intent was for me to find her dead body in the morning. fook!!


Almost have PTSD
Click to expand...
This is a traumatic event for sure -- give yourself a break. Maybe go talk to a professional.
 
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Duffy LaCoronilla

Duffy LaCoronilla

Duke status
Apr 27, 2016
39,462
29,351
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santacruzin said:
I am trying to . I have been messaging her friends to try and get them to rally. I think they are over it too.

Yea she is damaged and has feelings emotions but so do I!
Her intent was for me to find her dead body in the morning. fook!!


Almost have PTSD
Click to expand...
What Ranga said.

Talk to a professional.
 
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santacruzin

santacruzin

Kelly Slater status
Oct 17, 2007
9,145
10,399
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valley purgatory
enframed said:
Did someone accuse her of bluffing?
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No! first threat she made I drove to her house and comforted her all night. Second time I told her I was going to have a wellness check and it was avoided.


She was at my house and I said she could stay on the couch. Yea she said many times if I broke up with her she would kill herself. I never was a dick about it.

There was no "Bet you wont moment"
 
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C

CutnSnip

Phil Edwards status
Sep 11, 2018
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Probably dropping in on you, California
one of my ex's blames me for her breast cancer and the chemo and all the stuff that follows because the stress of me breaking up with her.

heavy on the mind but i know i did nothing wrong and her texting me things like - thanks, now i have no eyebrows really just made me wind up hating her. theres not alot of sympathy left in me for her.

ive also dated a ni polar person before. amazing sex but the whole relationship was a 3 year long rollercoaster.
 
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enframed

enframed

Tom Curren status
Apr 11, 2006
11,776
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Del Boca Vista, Phase III
I didn't mean you or mean to accuse. No "bet you won't" of course but someone (a friend, family, not looking at you) may have said "this was a call for help, you didn't really intend to kill yourself," which is calling a bluff.

The irony is that she most likely was bluffing.

Yeah, dealing with these people can be traumatic. I sometimes think my ex-wife left scars that take long to fade.

Best of luck, best wishes, and yeah, get help if you need it.

After my divorce I saw a therapist for a while. My head was jacked.
 
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Autoprax

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
68,971
23,568
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Vagina Point
The threat of suicide is a pretty common pattern for someone with a NPD.

I knew a married woman in school and her husband would threaten to kill himself if she left him.

(She ended up dying of cancer. So the joke was on him.)

My dad use to say he was going to commit suicide and my response was, "talk is cheap."

He finally killed himself when my mom died.

I think if people want to kill themselves, let them.

Good riddance.

I used to say live and let live . . .

SC shouldn't talk to the ex ever again.
 
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moby

moby

Nep status
Nov 10, 2010
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You play with crazy long enough you get burned. I did it for two years and it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. You need to sever all connection. That includes her friends. Mutual friends. Done. I moved two hundred miles to get away from crazy once. None of the bills were in my name. Fvck, one night I was leaving a party with some random and she jumped out of a tree in front of the house. I sh!t you not. Italian girl. It's embarrassing to even admit this stuff now. Cut off all contact. Block her. Change your number. She has her claws into you with this suicide threat. Don't let her do that. If she kills herself, it is NOT your fault. The suggestion to talk to a professional is a good one. He's probably going to tell you stuff that deep down you already know, but it will be validation. Get out. Now and for good.
 
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moby

moby

Nep status
Nov 10, 2010
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santacruzin said:
I told one of my friends he wasnt going to kill himself and he did.
She knows this about me.

Taking all her stuff to her apartment office now in a suitcase, will say I am an uber driver and she left it in the car.

The text her goodbye and block. Filling our Restraining order paperwork now too.
Click to expand...
Good.
 
Boneroni

Boneroni

Tom Curren status
Mar 5, 2012
12,114
1,947
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44
Goleta
santacruzin said:
I told one of my friends he wasnt going to kill himself and he did.
She knows this about me.
Click to expand...
Wow, it just keeps getting worse.
While she may not be doing it "on purpose", per say, this is cruelty plain and simple.
Again, so messed up.

Your friend is not your fault. I don't believe you wanted him to die, right?
Of course not.
I think he knows that now too.

santacruzin said:
Taking all her stuff to her apartment office now in a suitcase, will say I am an uber driver and she left it in the car.

The text her goodbye and block. Filling our Restraining order paperwork now too.
Click to expand...
Dude, fck yes. This is the right thing to do. You got this sh!t!
 
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