Controversial erBB topics: What is the definitive breakfast sandwich?

[hal9000]

5 Ways to Define a Sandwich, According to the Law

Is a hot dog a sandwich? What about a burrito? It depends on whom you ask—and what state you live in.

www.mentalfloss.com

Judge Rules Burrito Is Not Sandwich

“The notion is absurd,” a sandwich expert testified.

loweringthebar.net

What Burritos And Sandwiches Can Teach Us About Innovation

Is a burrito a sandwich? The answer may sound simple to you ... but the question gets at the very heart of a tension that's existed for ages.

www.npr.org

 

[afoaf]

WE ARE FKN DONE HERE

I mean we serve wonder bread with our BBQ like it's the holy
fkn sacrament with the bbq sauce blood of christ but heaven
forbid we put some spicy fried chicken and slaw on a bit of
white manna from hawaii?

fkkkkkk yeeeeeeeew

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

WE ARE FKN DONE HERE

If by "we" you mean your ilk, yeah, you're done. You have been toasted such that the crust is actually crust, not just dough walked through a warm room, done.

Look I tried to save my boy Hal because he's Jersey people. The rest of you are pretty much flyover hayseed hicks who have been told to keep goin' since you left Oklahoma.

Tacos aren't sandwiches and that fckn denture-safe wheat product you people put edible objects between sure as fk isn't bread.
Deal with it.

 

[hal9000]

Another requirement for bread: You can toast it.

Tortillas cannot be toasted.

 

[hal9000]

Also......what's inside the crust of bread? More bread.

What's inside of a tortilla? NOTHING, because there is no inside of a tortilla.

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

I mean we serve wonder bread with our BBQ like it's the holy
fkn sacrament with the bbq sauce blood of christ but heaven
forbid we put some spicy fried chicken and slaw on a bit of
white manna from hawaii?

fkkkkkk yeeeeeeeew

Wonder Bread and Bimbo Bread is straight garbage. So one of your ilk managed to forget about the glue and sawdust smoothie he was making and came back to it, sliced it, and 'et it. Doesn't make it palatable.

Claim the hawaiian haole hoagie all day though.

 

[hal9000]

what even is white bread?

 

[fishtank]

Also......what's inside the crust of bread? More bread.

What's inside of a tortilla? NOTHING, because there is no inside of a tortilla.

Flatbread is still bread, the difference is only air. If I stomp all over your loaf of “bread” it becomes flat (nothing inside).

 

[_____]

A hotdog is not a sandwich.

Google search for bratwurst sandwich. It's consructed EXACTLY like a hotdog:

bratwurst sandwich - Google Search

Win for the hotdog.

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

what even is white bread?

Now you're getting it.

Look I don't care for Poutine but if I did, I'd ask people in Montreal about it.

Here is what afoaf and the rest of the Californians use to make poutine:

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

Flatbread is still bread, the difference is only air. If I stomp all over your loaf of “bread” it becomes flat (nothing inside).

No, if you stomp all over what you sh!t slurping plebs call bread, it becomes flat.

Real italian bread or a real baguette will retain 3 dimensions, you might sprain an ankle, and that's before you "accidentally" go headfirst down the stairs.

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

Bratwurst is a condom stuffed with roadkill.

 

[_____]

waffles - not bread. A waffle.

oh, how's this find:
Thomas Keller, culinary authority:

11:05 on waffles, "exactly, it's a quick bread"
another win

 

[Ifallalot]

Tortillas aren't bread. Stop being obtuse.

Ever order a sandwich and when they ask you "what type of break would you like", you say "hmmmmm.......tortialla bread"? No, that would be stupid.

Tortilla is not bread. That's why it's called tortilla and not bread.

Yes. That is a common way to order a sandwich. People often call it a wrap so as not to confuse your ilk

 

[Sharkbiscuit]

Yeah exactly. Some **** from Orange County who has a restaurant called "The French Laundry" in Napa agrees with you. I think this guy got dumped by Lloyd in Entourage for being too beta.

You should go on a picnic date with Helen Keller or whatever your boy's name is and both of you can eat this new French sandwich (at least by your definition). Le Tide Pod. Post a review!

 

[fishtank]

No, if you stomp all over what you sh!t slurping plebs call bread, it becomes flat.

Real italian bread or a real baguette will retain 3 dimensions, you might sprain an ankle, and that's before you "accidentally" go headfirst down the stairs.

No, the brittle crust will crack under pressure and the bread inside will become a pancake of its former self.

 

[hal9000]

Flatbread is still bread, the difference is only air. If I stomp all over your loaf of “bread” it becomes flat (nothing inside).

If you stomp all over a proper loaf of bread your feet are getting cut up like if you got dragged over dry reef.

 

[hal9000]

Yes. That is a common way to order a sandwich. People often call it a wrap so as not to confuse your ilk

bread cannot be wrapped around anything.

therefore tortilla is not bread.

 

[Ifallalot]

Bread must:

-be wheat flour based
-have yeast or baking soda as a leavening agent (see: Irish Soda Bread)
-be kneaded into a dough
-contain gluten
-have an outer crust and a softer inside.

It's not that complicated, folks.

A hotdog is not a sandwich.

A hamburger is clearly a sandwich.

How is a hot dog bun different than a hamburger bun besides shape? What if you put “sandwich” toppings on a hot dog bun?

 

[Ifallalot]

Another requirement for bread: You can toast it.

Tortillas cannot be toasted.

All tortillas are toasted before serving