That WONDERFUL! CV-19 Relief Bill

john4surf

Kelly Slater status
May 28, 2005
9,016
3,753
113
CBS, CA
Curtis & Leroy – Mule Traders

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Herald-Citizen in Cookeville, TN and bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night “

Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said, “Can't do that. I went and spent it already.”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can't raffle off a dead mule!”

Leroy said, “We shore can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he's dead!”

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the IGA grocery store and asked, “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”

Leroy said, “Shucks, we sold 1,000 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $1998.00.”

The farmer said, “My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?”

Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Vote Count, Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
 

StuAzole

Duke status
Jan 22, 2016
28,623
9,863
113
Curtis & Leroy – Mule Traders

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Herald-Citizen in Cookeville, TN and bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night “

Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said, “Can't do that. I went and spent it already.”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can't raffle off a dead mule!”

Leroy said, “We shore can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he's dead!”

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the IGA grocery store and asked, “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”

Leroy said, “Shucks, we sold 1,000 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $1998.00.”

The farmer said, “My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?”

Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Vote Count, Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
States oversee voting.
 

hammies

Duke status
Apr 8, 2006
15,630
14,283
113
As much as I think Trump is a despicable human being and an unmitigated disaster as a President, I am totally down with the $2000. I know he's just doing it as a political power play and doesn't give a rat's ass about the actual humans who will be receiving the checks, but he is absolutely right on this one.
 

Mike_Jones

Tom Curren status
Mar 5, 2009
11,577
2,356
113
.
I just read how badly Nancy and the House Dims screwed this one up. They waited one day too late too submit this bill. Trump doesn't have to veto it for it to die.

Now the public think this is a bad bill and House Dims are stuck working through the holiday, and passing a bill Trump likes to avoid a shutdown.
.
 

GromsDad

Duke status
Jan 21, 2014
54,959
16,792
113
West of the Atlantic. East of the ICW.
.
I just read how badly Nancy and the House Dims screwed this one up. They waited one day too late too submit this bill. Trump doesn't have to veto it for it to die.

Now the public think this is a bad bill and House Dims are stuck working through the holiday, and passing a bill Trump likes to avoid a shutdown.
.
The Joe gets to sign a pork filled monstrosity as one of his first acts in office.
 

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
68,795
23,423
113
62
Vagina Point
As much as I think Trump is a despicable human being and an unmitigated disaster as a President, I am totally down with the $2000. I know he's just doing it as a political power play and doesn't give a rat's ass about the actual humans who will be receiving the checks, but he is absolutely right on this one.
I like that he complained about spending in the bill that his White House okayed previously.

What a fucking retard.
 
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Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
68,795
23,423
113
62
Vagina Point
I like that that doesn't stop Squildy from charging forward full retard.

It's got to be some kind of dysfunctional self regulation strategy.

The crazy creates a hormonal response that he's addicted to.