reply from time

[Long Island Surfer]

Dear Reader,

Thank you for writing to PEOPLE Magazine.

We regret if you felt our reference to Andrew Luster as a surfer
reflects poorly on other sufers for that was surely not our intention.
The analogy was made simply to point out Mr. Luster's ability to foresee
problematic situations and was not in any way meant to be derogatory to
those who surf. We regret your unhappiness, but we appreciate having the
opportunity to clarify our report.

Sincerely,
E. McIntyre
For the editors

what do you think?

 

[R3W]

I'm picturing the other version that's probably floating around the People offices right now. You know the, "dude, awesome, gnarly, radical, tubular" version.

 

[Spray92109]

I think that sometimes the essence of something can best be seen by putting it in a different context, like shining a light on an object from a different angle might give new clues about its shape.

For example, consider the following FICTIONAL letter:

Yo, bro-

Thank you for writing to Trans National Surf Magazine.

We regret if you felt our metaphorical reference to Kelly Slater escaping a huge closeout at Backdoor Pipeline reflects badly on all rapists. That was surely not our intention. When we said that his last-second aerial kickout was just like a good serial rapist knowing just when the cops are about to knock on the door, we were referring to Mr. Slater's renowned skill and poise. We regret that you might find this sort of offensive, dude, but man, take a bong hit okay?

Sincerely,
Stone Parker
Former Editor
Trans National Surf Magazine