Grew up on one of the islands near AC and spent some time living in Philly. It wasn’t for me. The quality of life in the beach towns in the off season is pretty good. No traffic , no lines , good fishing and fun waves. Judging by everything you’re saying I would probably recommend Haddondield or Collingswood. The drive ain’t that bad to surf it will just get tricky in the winter/spring when the windows are smaller to surf. Could be garbage in the morning and clean up in the afternoon and you have limited daylight , traffic, and you gotta account for the extra 90 minutes it takes to put on 45lbs of rubber