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For Shame Beach Grit, You Are Slipping

Chocki

Chocki

Phil Edwards status
Feb 18, 2007
6,595
7,188
113
Planet Earth
An article on El Porto and how wicked bad it sucks and how everyone who surfs there is a kook, both valid points.

beachgrit.com

El Porto officially designated "worst wave in Southern California!"

"This is El Porto, by far the worst wave in Southern California. Every wave is a closeout. Everyone who surfs here is an absolute barney."
beachgrit.com beachgrit.com

But how could you fail to include an account of the definitive moment in the locations history that was the inevitable Clash Of The Lees??? I’d think if anyone the fine minds of BG would not only be cognizant of such a momentous occasion but fully appreciatory

Youre slipping bros

 
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Pico

Pico

Duke status
Aug 20, 2010
21,743
6,607
113
SUP Nation
Im sure it was a Branding conflict. Wrangler would get mad. That being said. “ Black”. Its not even a choice
 
brukuns

brukuns

Kelly Slater status
Mar 5, 2014
9,999
4,866
113
Sao Paulo/Brazil
r32 said:
2nd worst?
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I'm sure there are many more worse waves. unless we are only considering named breaks. Santa Monica can be surfed and it's crap... literally. many other beaches have crappier waves too. Surfers just love bashing El Porto. I had great sessions there while living in Playa Vista, it was usually better than nearby spots.
 
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Pico

Pico

Duke status
Aug 20, 2010
21,743
6,607
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SUP Nation
Chocki said:
Beg to differ bro, Team Red Lee here. He was holding back. If he unleashed the same anger/aggression Black did, not to mention showed us some of that judo sh!t no contest bro
Click to expand...
Bruh! You dont show up as IronMan in April and expect to be taken seriously.
 
S

Sharkbiscuit

Duke status
Aug 6, 2003
26,766
19,710
113
Jacksonville Beach
:roflmao:

"Waaahh. I have to pump for speed because the wave is fast."
"Waaahh. It's a rando assortment of South Angelenos and not necessarily Salty Beard's target market."

Imperial Beach is a literal cesspool?
Coronado's usually closeouts except on a specific scenario?
Tourmaline and Terramar are great waves?
You'd rather deal with even greater packs of kooks at Crowdiff and Swarmies than a spread out beachbreak?
A turd burger like San Onofre?
The traffic jam at the Trestles complex?
The absolute overrun kookfest right points in North LA?
C Street?
The however many days of the year Lower Santa Barbara is dead ass flat?

The wind gets on it and puts a crease across the closeout and you can slam one bangers until a milfy sunset and your flight home. The instant there's a windswell, there's chip-ins and oncoming sections to belt the snot out of.

El Porto is above average for SoCal. Your points and reefs are mostly donkey festivals for kooks who should go shopping on Abbott Hipster in Venice.

It gave us Red Lee vs Black Lee. It gave us some 15 y/o who apparently managed to provoke a middle-aged woman to near-violence and had his cam ready to film the interaction. It feeds soooooo many hungry mouths.

Most adult learners bend their knees more than Chas Smith. I bet Yuri'd fucking smoke him in a heat.

The Clout call-out was solid though had to love that.
 
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K

Kento

Duke status
Jan 11, 2002
69,140
21,613
113
The Bar
El Porto is perfect Cloudbreak compared to Hermosa down the way.

At least Porto has a little bit of juice. A lot of north to mid-SD county and North County OC (minus the obvious spot) is dribbly bullshit to the point it doesn't even really matter if it's closed out or not.
 
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Chocki

Chocki

Phil Edwards status
Feb 18, 2007
6,595
7,188
113
Planet Earth
I totally forgot about the crazy lady who recently stabbed Paulie Shore’s cousin’s surfboard there. Classic El Porto.

And the parking lot Lee scuffle really is a moment of beauty and perfection frozen in time like a rainbow
 
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bird.LA

bird.LA

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Jul 14, 2002
8,124
1,806
113
LA
I love to sh!t on el potty as much as the next guy who surfs there more than he'd care to admit, but did an 8 year old write this article? Cannot believe anybody checks beach grit regularly.
 
T

theramrod

Nep status
Nov 14, 2014
613
852
93
N Cackalaki
To say Beachgrit is slipping is to put them on an upward trajectory for there wasn't much room down they could fall. And that is one of the reason I love them.
 
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Homie

Homie

Miki Dora status
Sep 2, 2005
3,937
147
63
Chas is busy buying / driving / talking about luxury cars on social media and spending money!
 
Chocki

Chocki

Phil Edwards status
Feb 18, 2007
6,595
7,188
113
Planet Earth
Your Moms Dildo said:
Those Asians are fucking violent!
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If only I was good enough at computers to have been able to have uploaded it to the YouTube with this as the soundtrack along with some sick video and sound edits like don’t you look at me and let’s some of that judo sh!t samples looped in while there still was decent footy around of the confrontation

 
S

Sharkbiscuit

Duke status
Aug 6, 2003
26,766
19,710
113
Jacksonville Beach
Love:
Chas trolling Ashton
Chas dropping truth bombs on surf media/culture in Lewis Samuels's absence
Chas billboard with Backfin
Chas off beaten path travelogues
Chas being the only person who has ever kicked out of a wave at Surf Ranch

Hate:
Chas talking sh!t on Dusty Payne's fashion sense to Dusty's dad.
Chas repeatedly talking sh!t on a rowdy good old fashioned Aussie like Mick Fanning's fashion sense, then getting called a Jew by a highly drunk Mick Fanning, then trying to get Mick Fanning cancelled, then spending years, plural, on BeachGrit menstruating about cancel culture.
 
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