You are easily one of the most prolific trolls this place has ever seen. Skully would approve.
I paddled a carbon fiber/eps/epoxy paddleboard, painted white, from Molokai to Oahu. When the race was over, in which I won my division a number of times, my board was put on the roof of a car. My bag was on the boat for reasons I couldn't begin to explain to you, nor do I want to. Regardless, the board sat on that roof for hours while others finished and I was interviewed. I didn't want that to be the case but it was. After said hours, the board was fine.
I don't advocate doing this, but it directly contradicts your anecdotes.
I'm not saying you SHOULD leave any board sitting in the sun; but in this instance, were it to happen with a white board, you'd be all right. In fact, don't we all know here that leaving your surfboard in the sun can lead to plenty of sun damage whether it be burning, delamming, wax melting, etc, etc, etc. Again, that qualifies as a "duh."
Now go change that thin pad of yours, have a sip of whatever pink wine it is that you prefer to day drink, and enjoy the next episode of Maury. None of us will judge you.