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Crazy job listing
- Thread starter QuadFin
- Start date
Apparently she already has a staff of 4? To look after 2 kids??
I guess it takes a village (of employees on retainer) to raise a child
I guess it takes a village (of employees on retainer) to raise a child
Holy Fvck!
Who the fuck could do this much and still have own life?
Must be able to bodysurf and snow ski!
Household Manager/Cook/Nanny needed for single mom entrepreneur CEO family in Menlo Park, CA with girl-boy twin 10-year old's. Looking for a long-term (at least five years) member of the household to act with leadership, strategy, attention to detail, high energy, and kindness. Live-in or out. Car provided.
Overall duties including running the household in collaboration with the mother and with the assistance of a housekeeper, an au pair, a property manager, and a gardener/handyman.
Most of the rest of household staff speaks English as a second language.
Major responsibilities are keeping the house and its processes well organized including organizing the house and donating clothing and other items, cooking organic foods that meet our allergy requirements, errands, planning vacations, camps and after school activities, and spending time with the kids. Schedule when not travelling is five days a week approximately 11:30 am to 8:00 pm. Sunday-Thursday (preferred) or Monday-Friday (second choice). Mom is a CEO and needs to relax on weekends. Weekends are busy with sports and playdates. Live-in option is the full kitchen, one-bedroom pool house. Requirements
• Intelligent, well educated, good at research and planning. High executive functioning. Very well organized. Multi-tasker able to make progress and complete multiple projects. University degree or equivalent knowledge.
• Assist 10-year old's with light homework in long division, subtraction and writing. Play math games with them such as "how much fish should we buy today for five of us?" and "How long will it take us to drive to the snow if it's 150 miles and we go 50 miles an hour?"
• Strategically think through vacation options based on the developmental levels of the kids and the need for the mom to relax. Conduct research into domestic and global vacation options based on criteria, populate information into a simple Excel spreadsheet, recommend and book vacations, track vacation expenses in Excel including track vacation home deposits getting returned
• Be creative about researching and recommending and booking good activities and schedules for vacations and can make our vacations more active and fun
• Compare and make recommendations regarding using credit card points to booking vacations versus paying cash
• Can email and text vendors, friends' parents, etc. in a professional manner
• Using Word, can review and modify household handbook, kids' chore sheet, etc.
• Plan and facilitate weekly household meeting with a pair and kids
• Track and administer allowance, clothing budgets, household expenses, etc.
• Monitor and track purchases and make returns on time
• Manager and leader. Lead, supervise and support members of the household staff who have varying degrees of education, experience and maturity. Control, organize, motivate and plan their tasks. Utilize Microsoft To Do/Wunderlist to track activities. Help members of the staff who are less tech savvy to download apps and use them. Conduct weekly household meetings with a pair, monthly meetings with others. Manage the overall calendar in Google for all activities including gardening, kids' days off from school, housekeeper's vacations, etc.
• Great, consistent cook.
• Family eats organic and is allergic to cow and goat dairy, chicken eggs, green beans and watermelon. Can eat duck eggs. Must be able to produce simple, delicious meals with consistency and accuracy meeting our allergy requirements
• Conduct research into vegan recipes and make modifications to regular recipes. Able to learn about using alternatives to milk and butter. Can read articles about eating beef and increases in breast cancer and can understand this information at a summary level, i.e., beef is bad, fish and vegetables are good • Correctly quantify how much fish to purchase for five people, for example, or how much chicken for 15 people
• Follow directions in recipes and use good judgment for substitutions. For example, use vegan cream cheese in blended soups, or potatoes to thicken broth
• Research and review recipes in books and online and create simple menus
• Collaborate with the mom and the kids on meals and dishes that they like • Administer calcium and other supplements to the kids
• Always focus on healthy eating and relaxed, happy, family-style meals
• Able to plan and prepare appropriate snacks and mini meals around sports practices and other kids' activities
• Understands and follow general food safety guidelines such as keeping hands sterilized, washing produce thoroughly, keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold for picnics
• Physically active, strong, athletic, high energy, understands the basics of team sports
• Strong swimmer and lifeguard. Can supervise kids in the pool and understands basic dangers and rescues. Can swim in the ocean and bodysurf. Likes river swimming
• Can throw balls and play simple basketball, volleyball, soccer and football with 10-year old's (learn if not already familiar). Can do calisthenics with kids (sit ups, lunges, squats, pushups) and generally play and rough house with kids
• Can bike around town with 10-year old's
• Can do short mountain hikes
• Can ski at least at an intermediate level (preferred) and can take kids on ski vacations and manage everything (preferred)
• Excellent driver
• Clean driving record
• Can drive the kids around town and on the freeway with a high degree of safety
• Experienced driving in snow (preferred) • Experienced mountain driving (preferred) • Prefer experience driving in other countries (preferred) • High emotional intelligence, skilled at coaching kids • Can influence the children positively in many areas including self-soothing, self-discipline, organization, conflict resolution, perseverance
• Can build alliances with other kids' parents and nannies and arrange play dates and joint travel with other families
• Is fun for the kids to be around. Is someone the kids can trust and can respect.
• Has room in their heart to love the kids and the mom; has a high capacity to be loved deeply by them
• Has appropriate boundaries in relationships and interactions and will teach the children the same including appropriate privacy and safety. Understands the risks of leaving children alone with coaches, for example
• Flexible schedule, high energy
• Can travel domestically and internationally with the family
• Able to maintain high energy, high organization, and great attitude while travelling with kids
• Able to spend the night occasionally Schedule: when not travelling is five days a week approximately 11:30 am to 8:00 pm. Sunday-Thursday (preferred) or Monday-Friday (second choice)
Salary: $DOE PLEASE SEND RESUME
Who the fuck could do this much and still have own life?
Must be able to bodysurf and snow ski!
Household Manager/Cook/Nanny needed for single mom entrepreneur CEO family in Menlo Park, CA with girl-boy twin 10-year old's. Looking for a long-term (at least five years) member of the household to act with leadership, strategy, attention to detail, high energy, and kindness. Live-in or out. Car provided.
Overall duties including running the household in collaboration with the mother and with the assistance of a housekeeper, an au pair, a property manager, and a gardener/handyman.
Most of the rest of household staff speaks English as a second language.
Major responsibilities are keeping the house and its processes well organized including organizing the house and donating clothing and other items, cooking organic foods that meet our allergy requirements, errands, planning vacations, camps and after school activities, and spending time with the kids. Schedule when not travelling is five days a week approximately 11:30 am to 8:00 pm. Sunday-Thursday (preferred) or Monday-Friday (second choice). Mom is a CEO and needs to relax on weekends. Weekends are busy with sports and playdates. Live-in option is the full kitchen, one-bedroom pool house. Requirements
• Intelligent, well educated, good at research and planning. High executive functioning. Very well organized. Multi-tasker able to make progress and complete multiple projects. University degree or equivalent knowledge.
• Assist 10-year old's with light homework in long division, subtraction and writing. Play math games with them such as "how much fish should we buy today for five of us?" and "How long will it take us to drive to the snow if it's 150 miles and we go 50 miles an hour?"
• Strategically think through vacation options based on the developmental levels of the kids and the need for the mom to relax. Conduct research into domestic and global vacation options based on criteria, populate information into a simple Excel spreadsheet, recommend and book vacations, track vacation expenses in Excel including track vacation home deposits getting returned
• Be creative about researching and recommending and booking good activities and schedules for vacations and can make our vacations more active and fun
• Compare and make recommendations regarding using credit card points to booking vacations versus paying cash
• Can email and text vendors, friends' parents, etc. in a professional manner
• Using Word, can review and modify household handbook, kids' chore sheet, etc.
• Plan and facilitate weekly household meeting with a pair and kids
• Track and administer allowance, clothing budgets, household expenses, etc.
• Monitor and track purchases and make returns on time
• Manager and leader. Lead, supervise and support members of the household staff who have varying degrees of education, experience and maturity. Control, organize, motivate and plan their tasks. Utilize Microsoft To Do/Wunderlist to track activities. Help members of the staff who are less tech savvy to download apps and use them. Conduct weekly household meetings with a pair, monthly meetings with others. Manage the overall calendar in Google for all activities including gardening, kids' days off from school, housekeeper's vacations, etc.
• Great, consistent cook.
• Family eats organic and is allergic to cow and goat dairy, chicken eggs, green beans and watermelon. Can eat duck eggs. Must be able to produce simple, delicious meals with consistency and accuracy meeting our allergy requirements
• Conduct research into vegan recipes and make modifications to regular recipes. Able to learn about using alternatives to milk and butter. Can read articles about eating beef and increases in breast cancer and can understand this information at a summary level, i.e., beef is bad, fish and vegetables are good • Correctly quantify how much fish to purchase for five people, for example, or how much chicken for 15 people
• Follow directions in recipes and use good judgment for substitutions. For example, use vegan cream cheese in blended soups, or potatoes to thicken broth
• Research and review recipes in books and online and create simple menus
• Collaborate with the mom and the kids on meals and dishes that they like • Administer calcium and other supplements to the kids
• Always focus on healthy eating and relaxed, happy, family-style meals
• Able to plan and prepare appropriate snacks and mini meals around sports practices and other kids' activities
• Understands and follow general food safety guidelines such as keeping hands sterilized, washing produce thoroughly, keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold for picnics
• Physically active, strong, athletic, high energy, understands the basics of team sports
• Strong swimmer and lifeguard. Can supervise kids in the pool and understands basic dangers and rescues. Can swim in the ocean and bodysurf. Likes river swimming
• Can throw balls and play simple basketball, volleyball, soccer and football with 10-year old's (learn if not already familiar). Can do calisthenics with kids (sit ups, lunges, squats, pushups) and generally play and rough house with kids
• Can bike around town with 10-year old's
• Can do short mountain hikes
• Can ski at least at an intermediate level (preferred) and can take kids on ski vacations and manage everything (preferred)
• Excellent driver
• Clean driving record
• Can drive the kids around town and on the freeway with a high degree of safety
• Experienced driving in snow (preferred) • Experienced mountain driving (preferred) • Prefer experience driving in other countries (preferred) • High emotional intelligence, skilled at coaching kids • Can influence the children positively in many areas including self-soothing, self-discipline, organization, conflict resolution, perseverance
• Can build alliances with other kids' parents and nannies and arrange play dates and joint travel with other families
• Is fun for the kids to be around. Is someone the kids can trust and can respect.
• Has room in their heart to love the kids and the mom; has a high capacity to be loved deeply by them
• Has appropriate boundaries in relationships and interactions and will teach the children the same including appropriate privacy and safety. Understands the risks of leaving children alone with coaches, for example
• Flexible schedule, high energy
• Can travel domestically and internationally with the family
• Able to maintain high energy, high organization, and great attitude while travelling with kids
• Able to spend the night occasionally Schedule: when not travelling is five days a week approximately 11:30 am to 8:00 pm. Sunday-Thursday (preferred) or Monday-Friday (second choice)
Salary: $DOE PLEASE SEND RESUME
More likely he was fired for not “having room in heart to love the mom”, or perhaps for bringing chicken eggs into the house, or not meeting one of her crazy stipulations.
Can someone show us the mom's fake t!ts first, so I can make a decision?
Part of me thinks this is an elaborate troll. Part of me has been around folks such as this. Regardless it’s hilarious.
1. Can I fuck her?
1b. Would I want to?
2. Is snowboarding ability an acceptable substitute for skiing ability?
1b. Would I want to?
2. Is snowboarding ability an acceptable substitute for skiing ability?