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bowel movements and surfing
- Thread starter pastel
- Start date
I never leave the house before my morning dump.
A couple cups of coffee, drop a big ol' dookie, and I'm good to go for the whole day.
A couple cups of coffee, drop a big ol' dookie, and I'm good to go for the whole day.
There’s nothing more important than a smooth movement in morning, especially when you’re past 70. A cup of strong coffee laced with powdered coconut creamer washing down a frozen fruit smoothie fortified with 310 powder is a recipe for bliss. A literal home run with the bases loaded.
Always the second dump before you leave the house. Always. And especially if you had something good and filling the night before. I also spread the dumps into different bathrooms throughout the house. 
I took a dump in a nice little V-shaped nook near Ralph's on a nice June gloomy but warm summer day- I was in extremis and our boat didn't have a head.
Nice view though, not too much boat traffic.
Things were moving along nicely, and then a little 8-12" roller came my direction- I'll just hold on tight, it'll be like a 100% natural salt water bidet!
Then reality met my backside in the form of a water-jet that was strong enough to launch me and the former contents of my bowels about 2 or 3 feet into the air and then rolled me up the rocks with my shorts around my ankles, and my buddies laughing their asses off.
Good times.
Nice view though, not too much boat traffic.
Things were moving along nicely, and then a little 8-12" roller came my direction- I'll just hold on tight, it'll be like a 100% natural salt water bidet!
Then reality met my backside in the form of a water-jet that was strong enough to launch me and the former contents of my bowels about 2 or 3 feet into the air and then rolled me up the rocks with my shorts around my ankles, and my buddies laughing their asses off.
Good times.
was surfing really really good waves at a reef. but uh oh, sh!t time? fought it for about an hour, but my session started getting miserable even though the waves were epic. had to go NOW. caught one in, ran up the beach, pealed down my wetsuit. and KAPLUSH in the middle of the beach. oh boy i felt better, and no worries, no one in sight at this place because it was isolated. now what? i'll try that rock...knew right away that wouldn't work. that kelp leaf, too slimy and it's just smearing. tried driftwood and NO. wont work and i dont like it at all. oh, what about my wetsuit sleave that is hanging there like perfect toilet paper, and it was! cleaned my ass like a champ, went to the shorebreak and scrubbed my wetsuit sleave to sparkling purity, and went back out and surfed my brains out feeling good
An overindulgence of frijoles will create floaters that will track you back to your spot the lineup.
Let us not forget about surfing’s resident expert on this topic. Griffin Colapoopoo
Your family must love that.I also spread the dumps into different bathrooms throughout the house.
16oz or more first thing in the morning generally pressurizes the plumbing. 
www.healthfitnessrevolution.com
16 oz Water in the Morning to Boost Metabolism
We previously wrote about why you should drink warm lemon water first thing everyday. Research from Germany has shown that drinking 16 oz upon rising in the morning can boost metabolism 24% for 90 minutes afterward. A smaller amount of water had no effect. What’s more, a previous study...
www.healthfitnessrevolution.com
Back in college we used to stay up late drinking, take a 2 hour nap then drive across the state of Florida for dawn patrol. Would drink monsters and get McDonald’s on the way. One winter morning at RCs I could feel it rumbling. Told my buddy I’m running in to change and hit the bathroom. By the time my feet hit the sand it was coming. Run up the dune and strip down my wetsuit to my ankles. Diarrhea all over the dune. Wipe with sea grape leaves then hobble back into the water and wash my butt off. Proceed to zip back up wetsuit and paddle back out. Not my proudest moment
Just how many bathrooms do you have, do you live in the freaking Deuce Manor?Always the second dump before you leave the house. Always. And especially if you had something good and filling the night before. I also spread the dumps into different bathrooms throughout the house.