the best way to use a bidet , or most common way to use them and are you talking about experience not just something you heard or saw on the internet

[brukuns]

I prefer a good wipe over a piddly squirt

TP is the enemy of your ass. I've learned it the hard fucking way. No más...

 

[Random Guy]

I prefer a good wipe over a piddly squirt

Piddly?
turn up that water pressure

if someone smears crap in your driveway, would you rather wipe it up with the thinnest paper ever, or power wash it?

 

[$kully]

I'm on Metamucil now actually, it's been quite helpful. THanks for the tip Caca. The only thing being inserted in there is the ointment the doctor prescribed. For me that's an exit door only. lol.

The doctor is the father of 3 of my best friends, one of the best proctologists in the country, lucky me... still it's weird. My friend said they were having a family dinner and his dad told he saw me... so my friend asked "tell us everything about brukuns' asshole". lol... being the gent his father is he just shut down the conversation. hahaha. (I'm a friend of the family, been friends with that bunch since I was 15)

Try raw psyllium husk. It’s the same ingredient that’s in Metamucil without all the shitty fake orange flavoring and artificial sweeteners. It doesn’t exactly taste great but if you just slug it down I think its more effective than Metamucil or citrucel. Clean sweeps every time like liverking! No bidet or tp necessary!

 

[$kully]

TP is the enemy of your ass. I've learned it the hard fucking way. No más...

And good TP is terrible for deforestation. And the environmentally friendly TP is terrible for the butthole. It’s a lose lose. My life has been way better since I embraced bidet life. The only real bummer is when traveling or visiting others when there’s bo bidet available. I feel like my butthole is a delicate snowflake now that I haven’t used TP in years.

 

[brukuns]

And good TP is terrible for deforestation. And the environmentally friendly TP is terrible for the butthole. It’s a lose lose. My life has been way better since I embraced bidet life. The only real bummer is when traveling or visiting others when there’s bo bidet available. I feel like my butthole is a delicate snowflake now that I haven’t used TP in years.

Not looking forward to dealing with this on trips... I'll probably just be disgusting and clean myself in the shower. hahaha. TP out the excess though, there's a line.

 

[brukuns]

Try raw psyllium husk.

Hmmm... interesting. Cheaper than Metamucil. gonna check it out.

 

[$kully]

Not looking forward to dealing with this on trips... I'll probably just be disgusting and clean myself in the shower. hahaha. TP out the excess though, there's a line.

Ask @afoaf about his portable backcountry bidet

 

[$kully]

Hmmm... interesting. Cheaper than Metamucil. gonna check it out.

I find it works better. You can also get it in capsul forms but I think it’s ground down more and doesn’t work quite as well. I think metamucil is also ground down and processed more making it less effective as well.

Pro-tip: don’t let it sit in your glass too long before drinking it or it will coagulate into a gross blob. Drink it immediately and rinse your glass immediately cause when the residual grains dry they’re glued to the side of the glass.

 

[jkb]

Can anyone recommend a good butthole conditioner post-bidet?

 

[brukuns]

I find it works better. You can also get it in capsul forms but I think it’s ground down more and doesn’t work quite as well. I think metamucil is also ground down and processed more making it less effective as well.

Pro-tip: don’t let it sit in your glass too long before drinking it or it will coagulate into a gross blob. Drink it immediately and rinse your glass immediately cause when the residual grains dry they’re glued to the side of the glass.

I noticed Metamucil does that too. Mix it vigorously and put it down.

 

[brukuns]

Can anyone recommend a good butthole conditioner post-bidet?

 

[Pico]

Can anyone recommend a good butthole conditioner post-bidet?

I think the little pucker cup of poo left between your cheeks is conditioner enough. The French just dont care.

 

[Pico]

Hmmm... interesting. Cheaper than Metamucil. gonna check it out.

Im all about the Chia for wipeless wonder

 

[Pico]

TP is the enemy of your ass. I've learned it the hard fucking way. No más...

Thats unamerican!

 

[Pico]

Piddly?
turn up that water pressure

if someone smears crap in your driveway, would you rather wipe it up with the thinnest paper ever, or power wash it?

Werent you singingvthevpraises of Yerba Mate?

 

[Goofy_Footed]

Not looking forward to dealing with this on trips... I'll probably just be disgusting and clean myself in the shower. hahaha. TP out the excess though, there's a line.

I bought a bolt on bum cleanser a year ago and will never be without one again. Going on trips sucks. The shower technique is the only work around.

 

[$kully]

Can anyone recommend a good butthole conditioner post-bidet?

Kegels.

 

[brukuns]

This thread is going places...

 

[teeroi]

We were working on a McMansion in Kahala to put on the market. It was owned by a Japanese corp. So each bedroom was like a suite. The master bed was huge, it had a solarium, two walk-in closets etc.

The rule with my crew is if you gotta poo go to the toilet farthest from where we’re working.

I go to the master bath and take care of business. Didn’t check if there was TP because there was
a bidet. So I sit on the thing and turn it on. Everything is going fine when all of a sudden super hot water comes shooting out and scorches my butthole and surrounding area. I let out a scream and must’ve jumped 4 feet in the air. 2 feet
Hawaiian. Turns out the temp control was broken and stuck on hot.

Aside from blisters on my rear that was the cleanest my post poo butt ever been. Steam clean brah.

 

[keenfish]

I just flush first and then reach down into the bowl water with a sponge and gently clean the sphincter and tap dry with a Kleenex.

My sponge bill is through the roof though.