The kid was pretty well balanced growing up. And he always had part time jobs and summer jobs etc. not a lazy entitled brat or anything. But he has his shy/quiet and moody side too, so who knows
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Dang, my kid didn’t get into any public CA University with a 4.2 GPA that was applied to.
- Thread starter SlicedFeet
- Start date
I hope your nephew figures it out and gets the help he needs. I can see how his parents are unsettled about how their high-achieving kid is now having (previously unknown to them) problems shortly after going away to school.
sub, as I'm sure you're aware, your nephew's at the age where many mental illnesses make a showing. It's f'n scary. I feel for him, and the family. Smart move for him to head home and take a beat, regroup.
This happened to my roommate in college too. Handsome dude, tall, smart, but he got lost in the sauce in college. There's something about moving out of your hometown, away from your family and friends and everything you know to a massive, atomize pressure cooker that's bad for mental health.
Something tells me you have to look like racer1 too.
Thank you internet fam. IRL subway fam has been taking some beatings and hard losses recently, with aunt Wanda up next to make the final journey. Stage 5 Parkinson’s. Hasn’t eaten in several weeks, barely sips fluids, in hospice and she will be on her way any moment now. Luckily my mom survived her stroke and recovered quickly enough to have long proper sisterly good bye video calls. Wanda is at peace and ready to go
I heartily support the motion to ban Racer1
this fkn guy....
you're spot on regarding social ties....I showed up at college with about a half-dozen close friends from high school already there.
I'm bummed for subway's nephew because I can appreciate how hard it is to overcome such sudden changes in one's circumstances. the helicopter comment struck a chord...14 is 16 is 18 is 20 SO FKN FAST as a parent and I'm constantly stressing out about wether or not these chamacos are going to be ready to deal with real life life'ing up their lives.
a degen doesn't want his kids to be degens, but he'd hate to see them turn out soft, ya know?
This so much!!
Can be scary as hell.
If he and his family are open to it, have them find a good therapist to help him with the stuff the family is not qualified to help him with.
Yeah they introduced him to a highly recommended therapist nearby and apparently nephew #1 immediately took a liking to the guy, and from what my sister says, he’s bummed and disappointed and guilt ridden and all but understands that these things do happen sometimes even to bright responsible high achievers, and that he is on board with getting the help he needs to grow from the experience and not let it become something that echoes into the next decade or more of his young life. He’s a pretty sensitive kid inside his oddball sardonic sense of humor
One guy in my circle of OSU friends was removed from the dorm by the men in white coats (literally).
Just before he fully snapped, he was going on and on about making a film in Death Valley.
I supposedly had a role in it, but when they took him away, they took everything from the room, including the unfinished script, so no idea what my part was....probably a guy in the background who picks up trash with a stick that has a nail at the end.
It was supposed to be a redemption story where leading character gets his life back in order at the end.
Haven't thought of him in 30 yrs.
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My priority for college was to study, but then coed dorms put 100+ girls within a half mile radius. Nature finds a way.
Huge if true:
www.forbes.com
@Bob Dobbalina
Why High School ‘Rigor’ Is Often Just A Facade
High school transcripts look more impressive than ever, but they often don’t reflect actual learning. One big reason that is generally overlooked: the elementary and middle school curriculum fails to equip kids with the knowledge they need to do high school level work.
www.forbes.com
@Bob Dobbalina
Huge if true:
Why High School ‘Rigor’ Is Often Just A Facade
High school transcripts look more impressive than ever, but they often don’t reflect actual learning. One big reason that is generally overlooked: the elementary and middle school curriculum fails to equip kids with the knowledge they need to do high school level work.
@Bob Dobbalina
I only read the first few paragraphs, but yes, grade inflation is real. Skills are lower in most key areas of public ed than previous generations, despite GPA's and class selections appearing higher.
Picture "white flight" in public schools.
X= amount of school age kids
no subtract
-upwardly mobile families have less kids and have them later.
-those who have the $$ pull kids out of public schools and into private schools.
-those who might not have the $but have the means get their kids into specialty charters.
+ artificially inflated important metric of gPA for college and "achievement"
_______________________________________________________________________________________
a lower baseline and less resources for higher need students.
This isn't the whole story, but it's part of it.
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My kids now go to a private school after going to an UMC public school for several years. My oldest not in the most-advanced math class despite having a dad (me) who has taken graduate-level engineering math and works in a mathematically-rigorous field. The other dads with kids at this school had fathers who were dairymen, brick layers, and tradesmen. Despite not being born to rocket scientists, they didn't have to study at all their first two years in college. I heard this from the previous generation as well - the Boomers who attended this same school.
Point is, the level of rigor is not wholly-dependent on the smarts of the parents or kids.
Point is, the level of rigor is not wholly-dependent on the smarts of the parents or kids.
My daughter graduated from Poway High School (Poway Unified School District, Poway, California) in the late 1980s. She had a 4.0 GPA. Took her two quarters to pass remedial English at UC Riverside. She was a bright student and seemingly excelled throughout high school. I was pretty upset with PUD for the failure to recognize her weakness in writing and would have gotten her a tutor had we known. During her high school years, PUSD was top rated in San Diego County. At the time little did we know that grade inflation was a real ‘thing.’
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We have a pretty podunk nothing-special high school here and I know a bunch of kids that graduated and went on and did great at UC's; some are now in medical schools and Phd programs.
A lot matters if your parents went to college.
IF they didn't, they just don't know what is going on.
Here is an email from a former student today:
Dear Auto,
I hope you are doing well!
I want to thank you for writing my recommendation letter for graduate school last year. I am thrilled to share that I have been accepted to the Entry-Level Doctorate of Occupational Therapy (OTD) program at my dream school - the University of Southern California! I will be starting the program in September and could not be more excited!
I truly appreciate your time, support, and endorsement! I believe your reference was a significant part of why the admission committee voted to accept me as a student.
Again, I am deeply grateful.
IF they didn't, they just don't know what is going on.
Here is an email from a former student today:
Dear Auto,
I hope you are doing well!
I want to thank you for writing my recommendation letter for graduate school last year. I am thrilled to share that I have been accepted to the Entry-Level Doctorate of Occupational Therapy (OTD) program at my dream school - the University of Southern California! I will be starting the program in September and could not be more excited!
I truly appreciate your time, support, and endorsement! I believe your reference was a significant part of why the admission committee voted to accept me as a student.
Again, I am deeply grateful.
Great responses on this thread. Appreciate everyone's input. My kid's in middle school and never gotten anything below an A. Consistently tests in the 95% range on standardized tests and actually enjoys school. She's a standout athlete in 3 sports and in TAG. I've had a pretty lax attitude towards college as she's extremely self motivated and already driven towards majoring in something STEM related. Crazy kids these days are even thinking that far ahead. Guess I should be, too.
The community service element of the admissions process is an eye opener. I just signed us up to volunteer with our local land conservancy non profit. They buy up chunks of land around here to remain undeveloped and in their natural state. We'll be spending an hour on Zoom this Saturday to learn about tidepool surveys. Hike out on Sunday to take some sea star surveys. Hopefully it's something she enjoys and will spark an interest to continue volunteering through high school to learn applicable science, give back to our local community, and accumulate some meaningful service hours.
Surprising that work experience doesn't factor in to admissions in place of community service. I had to earn my way as a teenager in a single parent household and that takes up a lot of time outside of school and sports. Couldn't think of a better foundation for future business/econ majors.
The community service element of the admissions process is an eye opener. I just signed us up to volunteer with our local land conservancy non profit. They buy up chunks of land around here to remain undeveloped and in their natural state. We'll be spending an hour on Zoom this Saturday to learn about tidepool surveys. Hike out on Sunday to take some sea star surveys. Hopefully it's something she enjoys and will spark an interest to continue volunteering through high school to learn applicable science, give back to our local community, and accumulate some meaningful service hours.
Surprising that work experience doesn't factor in to admissions in place of community service. I had to earn my way as a teenager in a single parent household and that takes up a lot of time outside of school and sports. Couldn't think of a better foundation for future business/econ majors.
I knew multiple people that managed 4.0s in high school who then bombed out of college. Knew a few mediocre students who excelled. Imo, college is A LOT different than high school and sometimes the work to get a 4.0 doesn't immediately transfer over to college courses.
And then there is the fact that some college professors suck. I pretty much had to will myself through a few 100 level courses because the professors were so awful.
Auto--
It must be gratifying to get a message like that from a former student. The Doctorate of Occupational Therapy is a relatively new degree and those who get it from good schools (such as USC) get paid.
She is a great kid. She exemplifies my point that if you kick ass at the state schools for the undergraduate work (and she kicked ass) you can get into a good grad school.
Also, teachers will go out of their way to help to help students who are really going for it.
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