I had to think about this thread for a bit as there are always interesting tales. Somehow women don't feel that same interest.
Now first off, what is horrifying is when you see your young child drop a duece the size of The Rock's forearm. Like, HOW?! It's half your size. My wife once had to go in with gloves and literally drag one out. I'm still scarred from that. I have no idea how she sleeps at night.
Anyways, to subject thread, it's inopportune times that are the true trigger. Like the time I was in the South Mission Jetty area in SD. Had a board in my car but was just going for regional surf check on way home and primarily to use the shitter. And some chubbier Gaysin mfer waxed my back window. Part of me was offended because if you're going to pull localism, at least take a bunch of paper towels, light them on fire, and throw them over the stall. I went home really quick, grabbed a shorter board and a buddy up for mischief and then we grabbed every wave that came in. Wankers.
Eating way too many cashews, almonds, mac nuts, etc. following PITA hike with the kids, that hit hard coming down from Sentinel Dome in Yosemite. Windy day and trying to squat off-trail, asshole just sealed itself shut in outraged horror at the cold upflow. Naturally park ranger stopped by to talk with my wife right above my futile attempts. Didn't help. Rough walk down remaining mile and pit toilet was glorious. So, thread-related, I did acknowledge/confirm the condition-induced non-pooping desire.
But the most horrifying aspect of this subject was when doing a sewer line survey at military base. Measuring too surface and depths of the lines along with blowing smoke up them to identify leaks to surface. Outside the pure joy of smashing roaches with a sledgehammer (they vaporize when you hit them soild), opening up those manhole covers, it smelled rank and you knew who was eating corn. And survey rid had to got to bottom of sh*t. It's probably not out of the realm of reason that this would make you also have to take a dump but the crazy thing is it would generate a crazy appetite. That just seemed wrong but it does explain why fast food places have the dumpster next to the drive-thru.
