I have a 13 year old nephew. He and I go surfing about 4 or 5 times a month. He has gotten so good in the last few months. He makes me proud. My parents and my sister tell me how great it is that I spend time with him. I've been told by them, he really looks up to me. I have a lot of respect for him. He is a great skateboarder. He is a good kid all around. Hangin' with him makes me feel young and stoked. <BR>We went out yesterday and that little such and such got the best wave of the session. OTIS was STOKED! <BR>Before I picked him up, I had a chat with my sister. She told me that he had tried pot and alcohol recently. I asked her how she knew. She told me that he told her. I was proud once again, stand up kid I thought. As it turns out, it was either he tell or the vice principal tells. My sister said he is running with a fast crowd according to the school. My concern is that I set a good example. He has been camping with me in Mexico and surf spots up and down the coast. He has seen his uncle put away a few beers. Never has he busted me smoking pot (I gave that up quite a while ago). Setting a good example is where I get nervous. I get stoked and caught up in the moment when we hang out. He is treated like an adult by me and my friends. I sometimes feel like a kid. I don't have kids. Maybe some of you in the bb nation do have kids and can advise me. My own big mouth has not blown it yet. My family is important. I want to be a good role model and I wanna be me.
REMINDER: THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to monitor the Forums. However, THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to review any materials submitted to or posted on the Forums, and remove, delete, redact or otherwise modify such materials, in its sole discretion and for any reason whatsoever, at any time and from time to time, without notice or further obligation to you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to display or post any materials provided by you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to disclose, at any time and from time to time, any information or materials that we deem necessary or appropriate to satisfy any applicable law, regulation, contract obligation, legal or dispute process or government request. Click on the following hyperlinks to further read the applicable Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
OTIS, role model
- Thread starter OTIS
- Start date
Otis - I've got a 17-year-old son who has been surfing with me for the last five years. We spend a lot of time together and he has always been treated as one of the fellas at the places we surf and at the local surf shop where he now works on the weekends. I don't drink or use other drugs anymore, so that's not an issue for me. However, he has seen how some of the guys who hang out where he works have been ravaged by drink, etc. and he seems to have gotten the message that over-indulgence makes you sloppy and stupid. Still, he's a teenager, and he's gonna do what he's gonna do. Having said that, his mom and I have made it clear that he's too young to get high and we won't tolerate it. <BR>So I think the best course for you is too be moderate in your beer in-take when you're hanging-out with your nephew. If it comes up, let him know he's too young to drink or get stoned. <BR>There are other areas in which you want to set a good example. One that's important is in your attitude towards women - you want to show him that you are respectful towards them. That means no sh!t-talking about b!tches this and b!tches that. And teach the kid to be cool about the way you check out a beautiful woman on the beach - tone down the drooling and lewd comments.<BR>Also, be cool towards other people in the water - no snaking, or getting crazy if someone is being an a$$hole in the lineup. Just show him how to be respectful, and share the waves. <BR>You have a big responsibility in this kid's life, while his parents are the people from whom he'll get his core set of values, he's definitely gonna pick up some attitudes on how to act from you and your pals. Good luck!<BR>
Hey Otis,<P>Just showing that you are concerned means you've got it better than most!<P>Keep conscious of how your actions affect others- I'll try to do the same. . .<P>Jimmie pretty much covered the basics, so good luck, mate!
OTIS, my Man!<BR>i struggle internally with the same issues. I like the way Jimmy thinks, but feel somewhat hipocritical. Am I to say :It was fine for me, but you, god, it will kill you!!!<P>tough tough issues. Very cool that an uncle cares enough to care.<BR>cowabunga<BR>rg
Thanks Jimmie. You make good common sense. The ladies are next, he's really into skateboarding and surfing. I've asked him what he thinks about girls. He's not there yet. I thank you for the reminder about the fairer sex.
plus bro if you teach him the correct way to deal with a hottie on the beach, in a few years all his friends will be like makin asses of themselves andhell know what to do
I guess what scares me the most is that which I know nothing about. X and other new designer drugs are things I know nothing about first hand. Personally I think pot is pretty harmless. It should be legal. The legal substances cigs and booze are difficult subjects. They are possibly the most dangerous because of accessibility to all. I guess one of his friends parents are kinda loose about pot and beer. When I was his age, those parents were cool. Now those families don't seem so cool. <BR>I'm feeling a confused and hypocritical.
RG - I hear you - it's all to easy to tell a kid "Do as I say, not as I do." But for me, getting high wasn't o.k.- I ended up strung out and seriously f*cked up. Luckily I got clean and continue to recover from my addiction - so there is no personal hypocrisy in me telling someone drugs can be dangerous. It's more like, "Hey, watch it, I dove off that cliff and there's rocks down there." <BR>In any case, I don't think it's hypocritical to tell a 13-year-old grom he's too young to get high. My wife had a really interesting take on this the other night: she said she wished that she could get it across to my son and his friends that these were some of the best years of their lives and they shouldn't bother with getting high right now; that they should save it for when they get older and life gets tough. It wouldn't work for me, and it's not something I would say to my kid - but it's an interesting perspective. <p>[This message has been edited by Jimmie (edited 11-19-2002).]
I guess I was able to dodge alot of bullets that others were unable to. I never got busted by the cops. I never went to rehab. I broke my moms heart once when I came home stoned and she knew. That was the worst guilt I ever felt. My moms tears were the best deterant to dope. <BR>I think I just grew up. I think the hard part is not being able to share the experiences for fear of glorifying them. Amongst my friends that were there, those stories are usually funny acticdotes. The feedback I'm getting is helping greatly, thanks to all.
"I don't think it's hypocritical to tell a 13-year-old grom he's too young to get high. "<P>Agreed!! he's too young, But he sounds like he's smart enough to get where you are coming from with that. RESEPCT is key here!! Don't b.s. him .He'll see right through it.. Be straight with him. My father had the same problem with me. He smoked pot..I knew he did. BUT he was always totally straight with me about it. I agree it should be legal. It's a joke it's not.<BR>BUT Don't be too cool with him too young. My dad never smoke pot around me or WITH me ...NEVER. Although as I got older I could see when he had. I smoke every once in a while and will face the same problem with my children. I Don't drink anymore...hate the way it makes me feel and hate the way it changes my mind and body. Pot used in a recreational way is harmless....BUT him sitting around hooked to a bong all day is BAD....make sure he understands there is a difference. <BR>Anything used in an abusive way is bad.<BR>Too much of anything probably will end up being bad for you.<P>He respects you...that is worth it's weight in gold. Don't worry about being a hypocrite....you only will be if you lie to him...that my friend will do more damage than the pot!!<P><BR>jbd