I don't think its like that at all. I travel all over the Hawaiian islands to surf and explore with my wife and kids. No one has ever hassled me or even asked where I'm from. I maintain that the people who have trouble in Hawaii are the types that have trouble everywhere.Jeez...I love Kauai, but the thought of putting your head down, dont look at anyone, your not from here, etc...to live like that is not living...
Here's an example. I was surfing at a somewhat secret break on the east side of Oahu. There were three other guys out when I showed up. Two heavy locals and a transplant that I knew. Transplant is on a longboard and starts taking every set wave. In between sets he is telling the two locals about how he just bought his house on the water and the one next to him sold for $10M. Just a total tone deaf idiot. The two locals just started burning the guy and were waiting for him to say something. The transplant took the hint and left. Don't be that guy and you'll be fine.