And I was there. Ground zero. I mean maybe. It's possible someone has witnessed this previously, but God help me, this is unprecedented in my experience.
So, I'm out surfing. Two foot waves. On the sets. It was so small, a set was probably six inches bigger than the waves I was letting go by. The water is cold, (of course not for you, because you surf in the arctic and live on an iceberg. Whatever.) And to get anything out of this, I'm riding a glider. So cold water. Me and one other guy. Tiny waves. BIG surfboards. But the sun was out and it was glassy. It beat working.
Then this third guy paddles out. He's kind of over a ways. And he's wearing a helmet. I mean, far be it from me to judge. Maybe he has a piece of his skull missing. Maybe the plate in his head plays right wing radio programs without the helmet. I don't know. But then I notice he is talking. To himself I guess? But he's one of those people that talks with his hands. And he's talking a lot. And it's going on and on. I'm starting to wonder if he is having a conversation with one of his 32 different personalities or what. Then it hit me. He's on the fvcking phone. I edge over a little closer and yup, he is doing business on the phone in his helmet. But wait, it gets better! I catch a wave and go by him and as I paddle back by him, he has little solar panels on the helmet. I swear I am not making this up. And he's still doing business. as I paddle by.
But wait, it gets better! I'm a wave hog with a glider. I mean that's kind of the whole reason for glider. (kidding. Or not) But I digress. I paddle by phone/helmet man and here comes another wave. So, I spin around and take off. And here comes phone/helmet man. Paddling in on the shoulder. It's maybe a 1.5 feet of roaring mush. I cut back for him just because I want to see what is going to happen here. He's paddling, and talking. And then he gets to his feet and does the white boy shuffle towards the nose on his resin tinted slob job longboard. By now this wave is probably hitting a solid 1 foot and I'm up on his rail. Probably with a really stupid look on my face. He loses the wave, I go past him and kick out and then start paddling back out for another. He's still talking. Then he says into his helmet/phone, "Hang on a minute." Then he turns toward me and says "Sorry about that." I look at him and grinned. I'm at a loss for words. "Sure man. No problem. Any time."
WTF? Is this evolution reaching a new pinnacle or is this the de-evolutionary death throes of the Sport of Kings? For review, I'm riding an 11' board on a 1' wave and I got cut off by a guy wearing a phone helmet who is having a phone conversation while surfing who then put someone else on hold to apologize for cutting me off.
Is this a first? I mean, I'm claiming it at this point. This is new. Put that flat screen on the nose and have that Zoom meeting. It's a brave new world. I may have to get OT to help me quit surfing now and ask him how. Mommy. Golf has never looked so good.
So, I'm out surfing. Two foot waves. On the sets. It was so small, a set was probably six inches bigger than the waves I was letting go by. The water is cold, (of course not for you, because you surf in the arctic and live on an iceberg. Whatever.) And to get anything out of this, I'm riding a glider. So cold water. Me and one other guy. Tiny waves. BIG surfboards. But the sun was out and it was glassy. It beat working.
Then this third guy paddles out. He's kind of over a ways. And he's wearing a helmet. I mean, far be it from me to judge. Maybe he has a piece of his skull missing. Maybe the plate in his head plays right wing radio programs without the helmet. I don't know. But then I notice he is talking. To himself I guess? But he's one of those people that talks with his hands. And he's talking a lot. And it's going on and on. I'm starting to wonder if he is having a conversation with one of his 32 different personalities or what. Then it hit me. He's on the fvcking phone. I edge over a little closer and yup, he is doing business on the phone in his helmet. But wait, it gets better! I catch a wave and go by him and as I paddle back by him, he has little solar panels on the helmet. I swear I am not making this up. And he's still doing business. as I paddle by.
But wait, it gets better! I'm a wave hog with a glider. I mean that's kind of the whole reason for glider. (kidding. Or not) But I digress. I paddle by phone/helmet man and here comes another wave. So, I spin around and take off. And here comes phone/helmet man. Paddling in on the shoulder. It's maybe a 1.5 feet of roaring mush. I cut back for him just because I want to see what is going to happen here. He's paddling, and talking. And then he gets to his feet and does the white boy shuffle towards the nose on his resin tinted slob job longboard. By now this wave is probably hitting a solid 1 foot and I'm up on his rail. Probably with a really stupid look on my face. He loses the wave, I go past him and kick out and then start paddling back out for another. He's still talking. Then he says into his helmet/phone, "Hang on a minute." Then he turns toward me and says "Sorry about that." I look at him and grinned. I'm at a loss for words. "Sure man. No problem. Any time."
WTF? Is this evolution reaching a new pinnacle or is this the de-evolutionary death throes of the Sport of Kings? For review, I'm riding an 11' board on a 1' wave and I got cut off by a guy wearing a phone helmet who is having a phone conversation while surfing who then put someone else on hold to apologize for cutting me off.
Is this a first? I mean, I'm claiming it at this point. This is new. Put that flat screen on the nose and have that Zoom meeting. It's a brave new world. I may have to get OT to help me quit surfing now and ask him how. Mommy. Golf has never looked so good.
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Hey moby did the guy pull up in a tesla too?
