The Yoko Syndrome

[donuts]

Okay, I know this has nothing to do with surfing, but I can't vent on Lamebook because all the people I'm venting about will see it and cause no end of trouble. Also, I know it's not fair to Yoko that her name has become synonymous for a non-musician who interferes with their significant other's band, but what are ya gonna do?

So anyway, I have this little band that plays acoustic Irish music. We usually practice outside, which was kind of the point of the band, because I was sick of smelly clubs and rehearsal rooms, and also hauling equipment.

Usually, this is fine. But sometimes it's too cold, or too hot, or too windy to play outside. A couple of our members are homeowners, so you'd think we could just jam in their living room or something. It's not like it's loud.

The problem is, and I can't believe I'm saying this, the wives. They won't let us into their houses, not even to use the bathroom. Yesterday was the last straw, when I had to PEE IN THE YARD because the guitar player's girlfriend wouldn't let me in. We've had to play in the rain, in 100-degree heat, all kinds of bullshit, but that was really next level.

I was wondering if some of you domesticated types could explain this to me. It just seems wrong. I mean, no one's getting drunk and rowdy, and we all bathe. Except one of the banjo players, but nevermind.

I know there are women who marry surfers and then expect them to give up surfing, and of course there are plenty of women who marry musicians and then expect them to "grow up" and quit playing, but my question is . . . .WHAT THE FOOKING FOOK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!

Thank you for listening.

listening to a tommy makem/clancy bros. record is worse than two years in long kesh...

check out ian mccullogh on “irish fiddle music”

&

liam gallagher on the yokoono...

is your walter steding phase der nicht ?

 

[One-Off]

Is it only you they prohibit? Or everyone? How long have you been playing with the group?

My wife freaks out when people come into the house with shoes on. But she's from Venice, Italy where there's dog sh!t everywhere in the "calle" alleys. She's also embarrassed when the house is a mess. Maybe the GF was just a massive slob and didn't want the band to see the squalor she lives in?

I don't know. Not very friendly. The irish would probably not approve.

Could you rehearse at your place?

 

[sussle]

Well, this is the first problem.

Exactly. And everyone knows they're always after your Lucky Charms, the frosted oat cereal with sweet surprises. Might let them use the loo but would not let them near the kitchen.

 

[surf-shot.com]

Do you guys even read past the title of a thread?

Sorry! Thought it said YOLO . . . (how many liters?)

 

[Pico]

What did you wipe with? Or did you drip dry?

Dude. Chia seed. Wipeless. 2022. Get with the program

 

[Autoprax]

girls are the worst.

You should have joined my band when you had a chance.

I would have totally let you use my bathroom

My girl don't tell me what do.

(Don't tell her I said that.)

https://soundcloud.com/user698828797%2Fbig-dick-energy-she-dont-need

 

[Autoprax]

Dude. Chia seed. Wipeless. 2022. Get with the program

I tried that. Didn't work

 

[Witchipoo]

Exactly. And everyone knows they're always after your Lucky Charms, the frosted oat cereal with sweet surprises. Might let them use the loo but would not let them near the kitchen.

I named my band Magickly Delishus as a way to let people know not to expect authentic Irish music, and now I live in terror of getting our asses kicked by actual Irish people. I can run faster than most of my band, so I'm not too worried, but still.

 

[Witchipoo]

Is it only you they prohibit? Or everyone? How long have you been playing with the group?

My wife freaks out when people come into the house with shoes on. But she's from Venice, Italy where there's dog sh!t everywhere in the "calle" alleys. She's also embarrassed when the house is a mess. Maybe the GF was just a massive slob and didn't want the band to see the squalor she lives in?

I don't know. Not very friendly. The irish would probably not approve.

Could you rehearse at your place?

This person's house is immaculate. And spacious. My place is a tiny studio with paper-thin walls. I barely have the nerve to practice here with a mute on my fiddle.

All I know is that if I had a house, there would be music all the time, and people hanging out. I don't get these bougie Westside bummerpeople.

 

[surf-shot.com]

I named my band Magickly Delishus . . .

Wait! You're not Flogging Molly? I've been throwing my underwear at the stage . . . now I am embarrassed!

 

[ringer]

Hey there, Witchipoo. Good to hear from you.

 

[Subway]

It's not! This is the most civilized band I've ever been in! I mean, some of us have kids and own homes and no one is strung out or even slightly obnoxious. But yeah, I had to pee in the yard like a dog so I wouldn't pollute her precious home with musician cooties. What. The. fook.

That’s simply deranged. “No, pee in the yard”….are they scientologists? I can’t even think of the most uptight and germaphobic wives I know demanding such a thing. And I know some strange people

 

[Duffy LaCoronilla]

OP is withholding some information.

 

[Duffy LaCoronilla]

 

[keenfish]

You should have pooped too just to make a point. I bet she wouldn't ask you to pee pee in the yard again after she had to pick up your log?

 

[Witchipoo]

You should have pooped too just to make a point. I bet she wouldn't ask you to pee pee in the yard again after she had to pick up your log?

I strongly considered it.

 

[Witchipoo]

OP is withholding some information.

What do you want to know?

 

[surf-shot.com]

In one widely reported incident, the 25-year-old ex-fashion model Inger Lorre (the lead singer of the Nymphs) protested the reassignment of their record producer to Guns N’ Roses sessions by urinating on the desk of Geffen Records executive Tom Zutaut. It was said her motto was "void where prohibited"

 

[Witchipoo]

In one widely reported incident, the 25-year-old ex-fashion model Inger Lorre (the lead singer of the Nymphs) protested the reassignment of their record producer to Guns N’ Roses sessions by urinating on the desk of Geffen Records executive Tom Zutaut. It was said her motto was "void where prohibited"

I remember this well. The bummer is that her band was actually great.

 

[Duffy LaCoronilla]

What do you want to know?

What excuse is given for not letting you use the bathroom? Are you the only band member banned form the bathroom?

How many of the band members have you slept with?