still raging and ready to break a new board in two
few horus ago....a buddy dropped by out of nowhere with a board and handed it over to me..."barry said she's been sitting for a week....just paypayl him or drop the cash by whne you got the chance".....the f()ck? i didnt order a board....but as i look it over....i have some vague possible memory of calling the shaper while drunk.
board is nice for what it is...but a fugging abonimation. 6'2, 20.5...kinda shortbaord fromt end....wit a CRAZY THICK and wide domed round tail...kinda lazor zap inspired....board is 3 3/16 thick! THE F()CK!?!?!?! who else woudl order somethign so stupid? RIDICULOUS light....has some odd logo with what loks to be a negative of a local glasshop's regular logo w/some name of the ocnstruciton. looks eps but something about the foam seems different. CRAZY light weight but feels somewhat solid. god...i'd never spend the $ for sometign liek this sober...but drunk? fug. four nice looking tail channels that ain't gonna matter sh!t due to the MASSVE stupid tail...but at least they look good....situation is reeking of a drunken stupid board order. Still in some denial of ordering the monstrosity, i fly into a rage...four odd GLASSED in hipster's idea of reverse mini keels WHATTHEF()CK are these?! THE FUG would i order this sh!T for?! even drunk i'm not this stupid. still praying the baord isn't mine...i flip her over and see the world's most ridiculous deck artwork. the tail has some weird black and blue pinstripe of a tailpad outline, but incorporating the fugggin batman logo. the front foot area has five tortoises....climbing over eachother trying to get to the top of the dogpile for something...with the one on top raising the california flag in honor and pride. F()CK THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S STUPID DRUNKEN IDEA. wait....i gotta be trippin. there's no way i'd do someting THIS stupid. homie chimes in "yeah man....it's a pretty trippy board. he said seven total...not bad for the construction, those fins, and that artwork"...f()CK...this can't be my board....flip it over again praying everyone involved cant read...there it is... MY first name and last initial on the stringer. it all adds up to something only somone stupidly out of their mind would order. i'd never get sh!t like this. F()CK THAT IS MY NAME ON THE STRINGER UNLESS THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A PATTERN OF DOING STUPID THINGS FOR A LAUGH WHILE DRUNK....sh!t!!!!!! "Did Barry even sound confused as if this thing was for me?!" Homie with a normal/stern look on his face "Nah". F()CK!!!!!! THen I lost it..."if im gonna haveto pa for this piece of fugging sh!T I at least need to be able to switch out for fins that will actually fugging do a a G(*#&*#D TURN!!!!!!!!" BAM. broke all four fins out, one tearing some extra glass with it. homei immediatley walks out......F()CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....I walk over to the couch in a rage trying to think of when i ordered this piece of sh!t and that if i was blackout drunk... barry shoudl ahve been able to hear that iw as slurring over the phone and NOT taken the order seriously? F()CK. when coudl i have done this?!?!... stressed out thinking about benig 700 down for a piece of useless sh!t....i sat on the couch and eventually passed out.
just wokeup, groggy, but still in a rage and sweaty, to go lookover those stained marine play fins that i broke out....maybe at least get some idiot hipster douchebag on craigs to give me $50 for them. F()CK MY LIFE I DON"T EVEN WANT TO SEE THIS BOARD THAT ISN"T GOING TO BE FUN FOR ANYTHIGN OTHER THAN A TEN MINUTE LAUGH....no idiot wille ven give me $200 for this....moron kooks ride wavestorms now..... stubmle over to the other room to look over the ridiculouly expensive PIECE OF SH!T....and no board. No broken fins. nothing. thankfully dreamed the whole fugging incident. pretty sure my blood pressure is still through the roof.
few horus ago....a buddy dropped by out of nowhere with a board and handed it over to me..."barry said she's been sitting for a week....just paypayl him or drop the cash by whne you got the chance".....the f()ck? i didnt order a board....but as i look it over....i have some vague possible memory of calling the shaper while drunk.
board is nice for what it is...but a fugging abonimation. 6'2, 20.5...kinda shortbaord fromt end....wit a CRAZY THICK and wide domed round tail...kinda lazor zap inspired....board is 3 3/16 thick! THE F()CK!?!?!?! who else woudl order somethign so stupid? RIDICULOUS light....has some odd logo with what loks to be a negative of a local glasshop's regular logo w/some name of the ocnstruciton. looks eps but something about the foam seems different. CRAZY light weight but feels somewhat solid. god...i'd never spend the $ for sometign liek this sober...but drunk? fug. four nice looking tail channels that ain't gonna matter sh!t due to the MASSVE stupid tail...but at least they look good....situation is reeking of a drunken stupid board order. Still in some denial of ordering the monstrosity, i fly into a rage...four odd GLASSED in hipster's idea of reverse mini keels WHATTHEF()CK are these?! THE FUG would i order this sh!T for?! even drunk i'm not this stupid. still praying the baord isn't mine...i flip her over and see the world's most ridiculous deck artwork. the tail has some weird black and blue pinstripe of a tailpad outline, but incorporating the fugggin batman logo. the front foot area has five tortoises....climbing over eachother trying to get to the top of the dogpile for something...with the one on top raising the california flag in honor and pride. F()CK THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S STUPID DRUNKEN IDEA. wait....i gotta be trippin. there's no way i'd do someting THIS stupid. homie chimes in "yeah man....it's a pretty trippy board. he said seven total...not bad for the construction, those fins, and that artwork"...f()CK...this can't be my board....flip it over again praying everyone involved cant read...there it is... MY first name and last initial on the stringer. it all adds up to something only somone stupidly out of their mind would order. i'd never get sh!t like this. F()CK THAT IS MY NAME ON THE STRINGER UNLESS THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A PATTERN OF DOING STUPID THINGS FOR A LAUGH WHILE DRUNK....sh!t!!!!!! "Did Barry even sound confused as if this thing was for me?!" Homie with a normal/stern look on his face "Nah". F()CK!!!!!! THen I lost it..."if im gonna haveto pa for this piece of fugging sh!T I at least need to be able to switch out for fins that will actually fugging do a a G(*#&*#D TURN!!!!!!!!" BAM. broke all four fins out, one tearing some extra glass with it. homei immediatley walks out......F()CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....I walk over to the couch in a rage trying to think of when i ordered this piece of sh!t and that if i was blackout drunk... barry shoudl ahve been able to hear that iw as slurring over the phone and NOT taken the order seriously? F()CK. when coudl i have done this?!?!... stressed out thinking about benig 700 down for a piece of useless sh!t....i sat on the couch and eventually passed out.
just wokeup, groggy, but still in a rage and sweaty, to go lookover those stained marine play fins that i broke out....maybe at least get some idiot hipster douchebag on craigs to give me $50 for them. F()CK MY LIFE I DON"T EVEN WANT TO SEE THIS BOARD THAT ISN"T GOING TO BE FUN FOR ANYTHIGN OTHER THAN A TEN MINUTE LAUGH....no idiot wille ven give me $200 for this....moron kooks ride wavestorms now..... stubmle over to the other room to look over the ridiculouly expensive PIECE OF SH!T....and no board. No broken fins. nothing. thankfully dreamed the whole fugging incident. pretty sure my blood pressure is still through the roof.
