Lol, this is farken hilarious!
www.swellnet.com
"Anyway, heat starts and Medina just goes all crash-test-dummy in the shorey for the first half of his heat against that Fred fella. There’s farken Andy King and Dog Marsh, their respective ‘Master Coaches’ sittin’ there, more like farken ‘Master Baters’ if ya ask me. I’m like, this pro surfing caper’s a farken joke, this Medina guy’s a kook, and then, like a minute or so before the hooter he drops this farken floater into the death shorey that’s farken ridiculous, and I’m like, yeah, there ya go. Farken Siiiick.
Honest to God, I dunno what to make of this Medina caarnt. Does me farken head in. Like, he’s a farken machine, rips an’ all, but then he comes in after his heat, knowin’ everyone’s watchin’, turns back around to the ocean, reaches his arms out and does this weird, theatrical blessing / benediction thing, to God or Jesus or whoever, which is fine, but ya know, fark, if I had the Almighty favouring me by His Providential Hand, I’d keep it a bit more on the downlow? Like, I’d be grateful to the Big Guy, but a bit embarrassed too, like, “Thanks Heaps and all, but I’ve got a few world titles and fabulous wealth and a hot missus and Chuckles off my back, so if you wanna go hurl some healing thunderbolts at the 26 million refugees currently seeking to stay on their own Dream Tour instead, I would be TOTALLY farken cool with that.”
But, yeah, I farken know, it’s just what ya grow up surrounded by ay. Nothing determines ya faith a millionth as much as the geo-farken-political lottery of where ya get spat out into the world… And I swear I heard Gabs use the word ‘Mate’ in his post heat yarn, so he’s orright in my book."