Mental Health thread

TheEl

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This whole thread is another example of the casualties we are causing by this short-sighted approach to fighting this "pandemic"

Is it worth destroying this many lives to save the lives of others?
Ebbs and flows. Strikes and gutters. However you want to put it life always has its ups and downs.

My friend has kids in school. One of his kids friends dad died from this sh!t.I don't know that letting it run its course is the right thing to do. What do you do when you cant breathe and the hospital cant do sh!t for you cause its full?

What I do know, and firmly believe, is that life before was bullshit. Capitalism is bullshit. Most people are working themselves to death to afford an unsustainable life. It's a fucking modern miracle that theres enough food produced in the world for all of us to eat. Just another opinion from another air breathing land walker. But i'll leave with this:

"Being well adjusted to a sick society is no sign of good health"
 

Subway

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Walking, 4 - 5 miles in the AM hours. Working around the house. Replacing 4 x 6 deck posts. Removing and repainting steps & replacing sandpaper strips. Backyard mowing once a week. :cursing:Sh!t just keeps on growing. Hedge trimming. (phuggin neighbors!) No time for f###'in off. Walking the dog twice a day. Sitting in the Car with the AC running because it's so fuggin humid at times ~
It'z tuff living with one's own bitchy self ~ ~ ~ :waving:
Seriously, I’ve become so unbearable even my damnable Newly slimmed down good looks are becoming a problem. im a total bitch lmao. Love you uncle. I’ll come back one day I promise
 
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Subway

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man....get yourself a prone paddleboard NOW. FAST. I'm not joking. get out there and make it happen. you'll have a blast while getting all that loco self talk out. i promise you.
I have been paddling my long board rarely. It’s so warm now I should do that more often
 
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20W-50 and blood

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no. the longboard isn't 1/100th of the fun. get something liek this:

the ghost carbon version if you want to blow $ that you dont need to but want to. the longbaord is muscle and grind w/no distance. one of these...glide...miles...exercise of the best kind....stoke. promise you, brother.. this kind of buzz is real and hasn't faded. don't beleive me....drve or fly or hitch out here or whateve rand you can borrow mine for a week.
 
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92122

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anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
Kinda the same here in San Diego.

Nothing to complain about, at all... 10 months into a new job, and full steam ahead work from home since March, things are going well, full support from my boss, and no real signs of slowing down for the company.

That said, I've felt my first inklings of true depression. Not just the usual: 'I came back from a super rad vacation with friends and family that was the most epic time' type of back to work depression, I'm talking Monday, Tuesday, off in my head type of weird feelings. Generally as the week goes on and I grind out more work and get towards a weekend, and some plans, it gets better.

Still, the constant limitations on what I would normally be doing drive me down. Its that simple.
 

stringcheese

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I kinda have the same perspective.

Do you have kids?

I think it'd be way different with kids.
No kids, yet. I also think I might feel quite differently if I did. About life in general, not necessarily the covid situation. However, I don't want to be genetics's bltch, and reproduce just to hopefully add meaning to my life because nature calls. Seen people do it. They won't say the regret it, but you can feel it.
So life is meaningless, save for the meaning we choose to give it? Guess I'll surf, fvck, eat, smoke, and die. Not a bad shake, the human experience.

"Rather be bummed out and bored than dead"...hmmm...not me. I'm here to live, then die. No after life. Everything only fits if it is impermanent, you understand. If you live eternally, you can spend a million years murdering babies, then a quintillion years watching protons decompose, then twenty minutes watching family guy. It just doesn't make human sense. No, not me. Get up in the morning, go live. Won't last.


Edit:
living out of a hotel for over a week now, probably gonna be a few more. Then my car died, transmission ate it on the freeway. Alright, listen to the universe. Don't call a rental. Pull that skateboard out for the first time in bout 10. Kickin it. Oh, gotta close it down at work, Governor slick-back says. Cool. Not gonna complain woe is me 'bout business, restaurants are bullshlt at the best of times and not I nor my doings are essential to anyone, even me. I didn't plan on this thing. I don't even fvckin go out to eat.
I'm having to wait to go to the beach though, and that is not going to fly for long. Know my priorities, know my self.

Oh hey when you're in a hotel, tinder is like a game shark for your life n64. I feel like I'm cheating, on something. Or girls are just out there for some. 7-11 guy is gonna ask if I'm running some scam buying these condoms for resale. Swangin' it.

I started this edit to vent, or give perspective to no one in particular in order to refine it in my own mind. Then I realized I'm just really, really high, and don't have any friends anywhere near my own age and life. I'm not sad, or happy. I'm just taking it in, putting one foot in front of the other, trying to not get out over em.
 
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stringcheese

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vigorous exercise is the only thing keeping me sane these days

doing twofers and still can't shake the restlessness....
Up to about a half hour of stretching before sleep to try to help that. Sometimes it doesn't work so I just run off towards Madonna and say fvck it this instead of sleep. Pretty close to that right now.
 

racer1

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Surfing was fun today. Waves were much better than expected. Saw an old friend. We shared some laughs. He saw me land an air. Found out from a couple older locals that one of the most positive and stocked older locals has lung cancer. Bummer.

Came home to a clean house and wife making dinner. Bing watched 30 Rock. Wrote a large check to the IRS, which normally would put my head in a cloud, but I don't care this year for whatever reason.
 
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TeamScam

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Kayaking alone on the bay, a good dose of sun and salt, some exercise high and go to work making it manageable, but I have become a bitchface fuck wad when all that wears off. Trying to appreciate the selflessness and dedication of others as inspiration. I surf whenever there's something to ride and do so with no expectations, some days I really just float and try to be grateful for all the blessings, for those who have passed away, for those who have shared of their grace.

It's usually uplifting, but some days, usually a few days in a row I sink into nothingness. On those days I have the water, and my health, and those who've shared of themselves.

Pep-talk. Good luck, I am determined to come out of this better than before some way. That is the only acceptable path.
 

casa_mugrienta

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Apr 13, 2008
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Better bummed out and bored than dead, at least that's my perspective.
That's kinda fear-based and short-sighted.

The overwhelming majority of people will not die or be hospitalized from the virus.

The fallout is more of a threat.

Suicide rates way up, alcohol consumption way up, psych med consumption way up. Now seeing patients who became alcoholics during the lockdown and have already boozed themselves to death.

San Diego has had 4 deaths under the age of 40 that have died of of the virus yet I've seen 3 deaths under 40 from alcoholism in the past month alone.

This whole virtual education thing might seem OK for the upper middle class / upper class people who have the resources to assist and guide their kids but for the rest of parents it's a nightmare. The effect this is going to have on at-risk and already struggling kids is going to be devastating.

We're just in the beginning of the fallout from all this. Things going to get much much worse - the social effects will be long term then compounded by the social effects relating to the coming the economic effects.

The virus is the only thing making headlines because it makes click$. How everything else is going to hell isn't really of interest because many people do not grasp there will be very significant long term effects of the current and previous actions relating to the virus. "Vaccine and then back to normal" is how many people are thinking this works. NOPE.
 
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Autoprax

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.I find it difficult. I’ll just go ahead and say it. What I really want is either empty waves in the sun or sedation. I can’t get the former it seems. The later I can get with a phone call. But I’m being good.
Can you get me some?

I'm not having trouble self regulating during the pandemic.

I just like to get high on pain medication.
 

Autoprax

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Walking, 4 - 5 miles in the AM hours. Working around the house. Replacing 4 x 6 deck posts. Removing and repainting steps & replacing sandpaper strips. Backyard mowing once a week. :cursing:Sh!t just keeps on growing. Hedge trimming. (phuggin neighbors!) No time for f###'in off. Walking the dog twice a day. Sitting in the Car with the AC running because it's so fuggin humid at times ~
It'z tuff living with one's own bitchy self ~ ~ ~ :waving:
Peter, try ice baths when you get hot. 5 minutes in the ice will keep you cool for 5-6 hours.

I can't handle the heat and humidity. But the ice turns me into a machine. No more heat issues.

Oh, Subway, I didn't even think about ice for self regulating if you can't to drugs during the covid.

I'm going to buy an ice machine this with week
 

Subway

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yeah my best friends father OD'd at 78. a lifelong successful architect, had major hidden demons all along, but had been sober for 30+ years (he was a source of strength and comfort to me when i myself put the bottle down 6 years ago.) Well he went into lockdown alone, tortured and distraught, called for help but all his friends from the fellowship were afraid to visit him for fear of transmitting the virus...Not sure how a 78 year old man living alone managed to do it, but he found himself a living room full of heroin and cocaine, and that was the end of him. just took a couple of days to die in the hospital.

I had known the man since i was 5 years old. one of my favorite of all my friends parents.
 

Subway

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Subway, are you in sales? The company I work for needs another sales person. Not sure how it compares to what you do now salary wise and if they’d take on a green sales guy but I don’t think they’d be opposed to it.
thanks man, but at this point, I'm hoping industry-specific experts and other optimists are correct and 2021 will be better than 2020. My draw is enough to pay the mortgage, i won't have to sell my home (not yet anyway :oops:,) so there's that at least.
 
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