Mental Health thread

Random Guy

Duke status
Jan 16, 2002
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I think she had a pretty good death

I know that sometimes hospice care can last a long time, but she basically went
from ambulatory to unconscious in a couple of days.

she settled all her accounts with friends and family, got a blessing from the priest,
and slipped away

I should have hung around and tried to get the left over morphine....
Sorry for your loss
Glad you and she had thos couple of minutes together
Rip aunt afoaf
 

HarryLopez2

OTF status
Sep 11, 2020
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I think she had a pretty good death

I know that sometimes hospice care can last a long time, but she basically went
from ambulatory to unconscious in a couple of days.

she settled all her accounts with friends and family, got a blessing from the priest,
and slipped away

I should have hung around and tried to get the left over morphine....
Toasting one to you and yours tonight! I never met one of my grandmothers, she died when my dad was very young. And, the other actually lived with us for a while, immobile and mentally out of it. Taking care of her was a trip for a middle school aged kid, lifting her to get her bedpan, etc... She actually recovered mentally, but the physical side never came back. That is my last real memories of her.
 
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Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
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you know those nurses are getting fkn LIT UP after work...
I never thought of it that way.

She was really saying, "She finished the bottle!" (We were going to party tonight! fook!)

When my dad killed himself in the garage in the car, he took off all his clothes and folded them on the work bench.

My sister found a handful of Vicodin in his pocket and threw down the toilet.

I was like, "YOU NEVER THROW AWAY VIOCODIN! NEVER!"

I found a bunch of oxycondones hidden under the bathroom sink so I just took those with Redbulls and Vodka when we cleaned out their house.

What a job.

My older sister and I were like assassins. I finally found my talent.

You can do so much drugs and alcohol when you are grieving your parents' death.
 
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Jan 20, 2011
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I never thought of it that way.

She was really saying, "She finished the bottle!" (We were going to party tonight! fook!)

When my dad killed himself in the garage in the car, he took off all his clothes and folded them on the work bench.

My sister found a handful of Vicodin in his pocket and threw down the toilet.

I was like, "YOU NEVER THROW AWAY VIOCODIN! NEVER!"

I found a bunch of oxycondones hidden under the bathroom sink so I just took those with Redbulls and Vodka when we cleaned out their house.

What a job.

My older sister and I were like assassins. I finally found my talent.

You can do so much drugs and alcohol when you are grieving your parents' death.
Can confirm...father and grandfather passed last September, finally feeling normal after a few lapses with the whiskey man.
 

92122

Michael Peterson status
Jul 29, 2015
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Drugs and Alcohol certainly numb the pain, but it's always there when you come down, unless of course life has some fresh new hell planned for your hangover.

Been there done that.
A guidance counselor in College once gave me some words of advice that stuck with me when I was going through a bad breakup... whether its a breakup, or death of a loved one, you have to go through the pain. You will never be fully healed if you numb it or avoid it.
 
Jul 1, 2020
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People do not understand how dangerous can be a mental illness and what it can lead to. I went in such a situation, I had depression, I was afraid to go outside, and just existed without living. It was hard at that time, but thankfully I stumbled on a site that offers online therapy, and the guys on the site I am talking about helped me so much. I have no longer those problems, due to them. I hope I will never ever pass through such times. Thank God, all this is behind. I hope nobody will have to pass through such times, as this is horrible. Stay safe and have a wonderful day!
 
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Mr Doof

Duke status
Jan 23, 2002
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Yeah, the grief/pain/anger needs to be faced for certain....and even when you deal with it, it can come back, but hopefully a little less.

That said, a little numbness can help buy some breathing room or at least make it feel like you aren't drinking from a firehose in the moment.

I mean, that is why booze is served at wakes......I would have been a wreck at the wake after I scattered Friend #1 ashes in the surf. When I had to talk with his parents at the wake, the last thing* his folks needed was their son's better friends blubbering while they thanked me (with tears in their eyes and quavering voice) for everything I had done. Those two pints had just enough numbing power to dull my higher emotional functions to let them express their (greater) grief without having to also cope with mine.


* - Please note that this is my interpretation of their needs.
 

Subway

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Dec 31, 2008
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Sad year is sad. Yeah I felt a lot of grief when my dad passed at 70. But you do just sort of feel sad, and one day, maybe it’s six months or a year or whatever, you stop fixating on it. I think we have some evolutionary wiring to deal with the death of loved ones, because that’s what has been happening since day 1.
 

Random Guy

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Jan 16, 2002
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Yeah, the grief/pain/anger needs to be faced for certain....and even when you deal with it, it can come back, but hopefully a little less.

That said, a little numbness can help buy some breathing room or at least make it feel like you aren't drinking from a firehose in the moment.

I mean, that is why booze is served at wakes......I would have been a wreck at the wake after I scattered Friend #1 ashes in the surf. When I had to talk with his parents at the wake, the last thing* his folks needed was their son's better friends blubbering while they thanked me (with tears in their eyes and quavering voice) for everything I had done. Those two pints had just enough numbing power to dull my higher emotional functions to let them express their (greater) grief without having to also cope with mine.


* - Please note that this is my interpretation of their needs.
Wait, they serve booze at wakes?
 

racer1

Kelly Slater status
Apr 16, 2014
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Honolulu, Hawaii
Best friend died in a car crash our senior year, December 11th, 1997. We were from the same town and he died 15min ahead of me driving home after a school dance. It seemed like everybody moved on by January. So I kinda did too, so I thought. Spent the month of January ditching school, microdosing weed and pulling into closeouts at OTW (his favorite spot). School and Mom freaked out. Had a conference. I could tell Mom was stressing so I got straight. Settled down in February. Thought I was past it. Partied all Spring and Summer, figured it was just senior year graduation fun. It was part self medicating. Got to college in the Fall and got on the party train. Boozing every day. Thought it was college party shenanigans, but it was part self medicating. In hindsight, his death lingered for a good 9-12 months, until one day it just left. Probably would have been shorter if I would have let myself be sad. I still keep in contact with his mother 20+ years later and just asked her if I could name my son after his Hawaiian name. When she answered the phone this past Saturday, she guessed I was calling to tell her we were pregnant.
 
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Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
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I really liked pain pill to deal with grief.

It's not like you don't feel grief.

Or you are on the pills all the time. They will stop working if you do that.

The occasional opiate allows you to catch your breathe.

Greif really messes up how you experience time.

Age does too.

Both my parents died in 2007.

That totally cut my connection with an accurate perception of the passing of time.

I had a really good friend die ten years ago.

That 10 years is not like any ten years in the perception of passing time I have yet to feel.

Those 10 years passed in a daze. Like I had been punched and stunned.
 

SurfFuerteventura

Michael Peterson status
Sep 20, 2014
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hulling, mostly...
there are no such thing as bad drugs.

there are only bad situations in which to take the wrong drugs, or correct situations in which to take the right drugs.

for example:

morphine to a recovering heroine addict is the wrong drug at the wrong time for the wrong person, get them hooked again.
morphine to a dying soldier in the field is the right drug at the right time for the right person, ease their last moments.

etc....
 

casa_mugrienta

Duke status
Apr 13, 2008
28,847
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Petak Island
I think we have some evolutionary wiring to deal with the death of loved ones, because that’s what has been happening since day 1.
When you die everyone moves on with their life without you.

At least that's the case for most dead people.

It's kinda unnerving if you have FOMO.

You're just a memory while they're letting the good times roll.

But you're toast.

Done.

Forever.