Mental Health thread

[Kento]

I said a pure surf trip was needed for mental health and it is on. Bounced around a few destinations in my head but when it highest odds of good surf for a quick strike, the choice became more and more obvious. Especially since criteria is trunkable water and barrels.

North Shore Nov 18-22. Flight, lodging, and rental vehicle booked and set. And not all that costly.

Now all about the sack check. At least I’m in a good spot as far as tuning up mentally and physically surf-wise.

Will roll with 6’7 and 6’8 roundpins. They handle 2-8’ pretty handily. I really don’t want any part of 10’ Sunset.

 

[SurfFuerteventura]

Wife is, FINALLY, moving her stuff out today, mental health on the uptick.

 

[Will there be snacks]

I said a pure surf trip was needed for mental health and it is on. Bounced around a few destinations in my head but when it highest odds of good surf for a quick strike, the choice became more and more obvious. Especially since criteria is trunkable water and barrels.

North Shore Nov 18-22. Flight, lodging, and rental vehicle booked and set. And not all that costly.

Now all about the sack check. At least I’m in a good spot as far as tuning up mentally and physically surf-wise.

Will roll with 6’7 and 6’8 roundpins. They handle 2-8’ pretty handily. I really don’t want any part of 10’ Sunset.

 

[Kento]

View attachment 187449

Oh I knew that was coming too fucking good.

Just change the desert to fog. And relentless onshore wind. In other words, A Midsummer Halfyear's Fogmare. I seriously have no idea how Dale surfed up here every day. When it's good, it is pinch-yourself good, but holy hell, the last 2 years have had several-month long streaks of fog/wind/rain. Plays hell on your sanity. Thank god for running.

If nothing else, I will see the sun and the ocean together at the same time. Stocked at just that thought alone. Waves are a huge bonus.

 

[b.r.]

If nothing else, I will see the sun and the ocean together at the same time. Stocked at just that thought alone. Waves are a huge bonus.

Don't count on it, I used Veteran's day to weasle a 10 day solo trip some years back and it rained the entire time. Just kidding Kento, but there were 3 High Surf Advisories while I was in the islands and my buddy who picked me up and lodged me seemed to think I was still the same guy who traveled with him to Pascuales, and baja back in the day. First morning we paddled out in the dark and he was like no worries BR nobody will be out this early, he was right and it was terrifying. Waves outside your comfort zone are really good for your mental health though, you really forget all your troubles, family, mortgage, etc when the horizon goes black and you are paddling for your life. lol. Got the best waves that trip, good waves or not a Hawaiian trip will be good for your brain. Kento would Go!

 

[Kento]

Don't count on it, I used Veteran's day to weasle a 10 day solo trip some years back and it rained the entire time. Just kidding Kento, but there were 3 High Surf Advisories while I was in the islands and my buddy who picked me up and lodged me seemed to think I was still the same guy who traveled with him to Pascuales, and baja back in the day. First morning we paddled out in the dark and he was like no worries BR nobody will be out this early, he was right and it was terrifying. Waves outside your comfort zone are really good for your mental health though, you really forget all your troubles, family, mortgage, etc when the horizon goes black and you are paddling for your life. lol. Got the best waves that trip, good waves or not a Hawaiian trip will be good for your brain. Kento would Go!

Yeah, there's always the question of scoring TOO well. But absolutely agree that nothing like fear to crystallize what truly matters in life.

Just on the first day, don't push off the reef after a wave, thinking it's sand. Can't tell you how many times I have done that... oh right...

Staying in Haleiwa not far from the bridge so plenty of food.markets within walking distance. Props to casa_mugrienta for pointing my nose in the right direction for a good place to stay. Will be funny if I end up never making it further north than Lani's (hard to pass by when it's good).

 

[PRCD]

Oh I knew that was coming too fucking good.

Just change the desert to fog. And relentless onshore wind. In other words, A Midsummer Halfyear's Fogmare. I seriously have no idea how Dale surfed up here every day. When it's good, it is pinch-yourself good, but holy hell, the last 2 years have had several-month long streaks of fog/wind/rain. Plays hell on your sanity. Thank god for running.

If nothing else, I will see the sun and the ocean together at the same time. Stocked at just that thought alone. Waves are a huge bonus.

I got a lot stronger living there. I did some downhill skating too. The surfers who score know people by the beach, take days off and tend not to work too much.

Wind sports down at the Bay could be your thing though. Looking back, I should've tried that. The wind is super consistent down there.

 

[Kento]

I got a lot stronger living there. I did some downhill skating too. The surfers who score know people by the beach, take days off and tend not to work too much.

Wind sports down at the Bay could be your thing though. Looking back, I should've tried that. The wind is super consistent down there.

I hear you. Other than getting the regular spot come hell or high water, you need a lot of flexibility and time to explore with the going back and forth. Kiteboarding would be good up here, that's for sure. A little too much equipment for my tastes though, even mountain biking seems cumbersome.

But yeah, distance running became a solid fix, not just as a diversion but got competent if not good in a very short amount of time, considering I did all but zero running before 3 years ago. Good for the mental health. If you do your best thinking on the shitter, running is like a long hemorrhoidic sh!t, you evaluate some life choices including WTF you are doing out there in the first place.

Which will probably be the what were you thinking moment out at whatever massive death out there in the water in a few months. Or here for that matter in a couple. I can't snap the boards I'm going to bring HERE before snapping them THERE.

 

[LurkNoMore]

 

[santacruzin]

Just lost an old friend to lung cancer, don’t smoke ciggies! Gonna miss him, raising a glass for him now.

rest in peace Matt.

 

[brukuns]

Wife started a new job this week... part time (she wasn't working for a few years already). Lots of new tasks for me, kid gets off of school by noon. Now not even do I need to pick him up, but I also need to prepare his lunch and sh!t. Which is fine, what bugs me is that she comes home and acts like she's the only one overwhelmed.... well, fuck that.

Feeling annoyed and extra irritated... no weed makes it worse. Mental Health down.

 

[SurfFuerteventura]

Perspectiva @brukuns

example, when my mom fully Picasso‘s her diapers and pants, then “tries to help” by trying to change the diapers herself instead of calling me for help, I could just drown her in her own poo, quite literally.

however, if I think first, the other option… her not pooing at all, or pooing hard, are both worse. First ends in septicemia, second in me having to go fishing to get it out, she’s lost all kegel control long ago.

so, I would much rather roll up my sleeves and get dirty cleaning, than have to go to the ER or fishing!

find a way to see the bright side, at least you have a son and a wife who love you, for example.

you could be packing lunches for 10 or 12 had you ”gotten busier“?

 

[brukuns]

Perspectiva @brukuns

example, when my mom fully Picasso‘s her diapers and pants, then “tries to help” by trying to change the diapers herself instead of calling me for help, I could just drown her in her own poo, quite literally.

however, if I think first, the other option… her not pooing at all, or pooing hard, are both worse. First ends in septicemia, second in me having to go fishing to get it out, she’s lost all kegel control long ago.

so, I would much rather roll up my sleeves and get dirty cleaning, than have to go to the ER or fishing!

find a way to see the bright side, at least you have a son and a wife who love you, for example.

you could be packing lunches for 10 or 12 had you ”gotten busier“?

I already said I don't mind the extra chores. What I mind is being treated like I'm scratching my balls all day when I'm actually drowned in work and also doing other new things on top of it. I get it, she's tired.... but so am I. A lot.

 

[PRCD]

Perspectiva @brukuns

example, when my mom fully Picasso‘s her diapers and pants, then “tries to help” by trying to change the diapers herself instead of calling me for help, I could just drown her in her own poo, quite literally.

however, if I think first, the other option… her not pooing at all, or pooing hard, are both worse. First ends in septicemia, second in me having to go fishing to get it out, she’s lost all kegel control long ago.

so, I would much rather roll up my sleeves and get dirty cleaning, than have to go to the ER or fishing!

find a way to see the bright side, at least you have a son and a wife who love you, for example.

you could be packing lunches for 10 or 12 had you ”gotten busier“?

You're doing a very good thing few Westerners are willing to do nowadays - taking care of your parents in old age. It's brutal for you but meaningful.

 

[Kento]

Wife started a new job this week... part time (she wasn't working for a few years already). Lots of new tasks for me, kid gets off of school by noon. Now not even do I need to pick him up, but I also need to prepare his lunch and sh!t. Which is fine, what bugs me is that she comes home and acts like she's the only one overwhelmed.... well, fuck that.

Feeling annoyed and extra irritated... no weed makes it worse. Mental Health down.

I feel you. Went through similar scenario when my wife started sub teaching part time.

Best advice is to talk the night before, triage the upcoming day, what needs to get done and who is doing what. Especially since there are new routines now for both of you. Seems basic but that communication will make things less overwhelming for both of you.

And when you have the opportunity, definitely smoke more weed.

 

[brukuns]

I feel you. Went through similar scenario when my wife started sub teaching part time.

Best advice is to talk the night before, triage the upcoming day, what needs to get done and who is doing what. Especially since there are new routines now for both of you. Seems basic but that communication will make things less overwhelming for both of you.

And when you have the opportunity, definitely smoke more weed.

I think we'll be overwhelmed no matter what, and that's fine. I just wish she wouldn't be such a bitch.

over 24 years together, there are some days that man...

 

[Kento]

I think we'll be overwhelmed no matter what, and that's fine. I just wish she wouldn't be such a bitch.

over 24 years together, there are some days that man...

That's because they need weed too.

 

[SurfFuerteventura]

I already said I don't mind the extra chores. What I mind is being treated like I'm scratching my balls all day when I'm actually drowned in work and also doing other new things on top of it. I get it, she's tired.... but so am I. A lot.

Buddy? You are brasileiro... I don't claim to know the culture as well as our own, but if it's anything like the portagee with the family unit thing? You know full well that a mother is 100% better at berating you, than a wife. In the end, you CAN just dump your wife... I just did, after 25 years. But how does one dump their genetics? And the berating growing up too? Mothers know so many more buttons than wifes.


Plus, my mom is much more "mommy dearest" than any mother I've seen, heard of nor read about. Think full on psychopath.

 

[brukuns]

Buddy? You are brasileiro... I don't claim to know the culture as well as our own, but if it's anything like the portagee with the family unit thing? You know full well that a mother is 100% better at berating you, than a wife. In the end, you CAN just dump your wife... I just did, after 25 years. But how does one dump their genetics? And the berating growing up too? Mothers know so many more buttons than wifes.


Plus, my mom is much more "mommy dearest" than any mother I've seen, heard of nor read about. Think full on psychopath.

Values are similar apparently. United family for sure, everyone lives 10 mins apart. We will absolutely take care of my parents when they are older (just like my mom took care of my grandma who lived to 99 years and passed away a couple years ago). But we're talking different things here. I'm stressed out, that doesn't mean I'm ready to end my 24 year long relationship, specially not with a 7 year old living with us. She just started her new job, she's stressed too. Things will workout, I'm just ventilating here. We're not new to struggles.

 

[Aruka]

I think we'll be overwhelmed no matter what, and that's fine. I just wish she wouldn't be such a bitch.

over 24 years together, there are some days that man...

My girlfriend started a new job six months ago. It was a big step up and she loves it but the stress levels are much higher. In the beginning it pretty much sucked because she just didn't have any energy at the end of the day and she was more irritable.

I really tried to be more supportive even though at times it felt like a thankless task. I did have to call her out once or twice for being a jerk for no good reason and she apologized.

It took a couple months for her to find her groove but now that she has found her groove it has become normal and much easier for both of us.

Hopefully your wife will find her groove and it will be easier for you two eventually. Just try to be patient and don't fall into the tit for tat when both of you guys are grumpy.