Mental Health thread

Subway

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Dec 31, 2008
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LBNY
yeah i'm really scared for my EMT bros. NYPD just straight up will not respond to assist on a medical call, even when the call involves a knife wielding loony having a seizure. those guys are really under pressure.
 

HarryLopez

Phil Edwards status
Jan 17, 2007
6,595
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Neck deep
COVIDHEAD is affecting lots of people. Being aware of it is a start. There is no answer, this isn't going away, and all I can control is myself, mental and physical. b.r. speaks wise words, developing a habit/strategy for when those emotions want to control you, control your thought process, control your physical reaction to everything. It is truly a journey with no end. Suggestions to talk it out, whether with loved one, dog, or another person can help as well. Best to you in your journey towards happiness.
 
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sdsrfr

Billy Hamilton status
Jul 13, 2020
1,512
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San Diego
after four months, some of us working "lucky ones" are just physically and emotionally burnt out.
No doubt, I see this regularly in my work. Some are still working but maybe only 75% as reliable or productive as before, and thus their errors are not always caught.

I think the next collapse will be due to the “critical infrastructures“ going down due to an oops human error due to this ongoing mental health burden we are all wearing in our own ways.
 
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Subway

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Dec 31, 2008
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its weird- i'm in out of home advertising, so of course we took a massive hit with everyone staying home. but even local spot TV and other media are way down too. it's like the brands just don't want to take any risks. period. even the mobile and digital worlds are feeling it, and one would think THAT would be a no brainer but people are getting burned out on digital so that has lost some appeal too. HGTV and the PGA events are getting all the dollars
 
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donuts

Tom Curren status
Jan 23, 2005
10,222
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@ the fun house
anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
stop being a big girl’s blouse and do something productive - there are people
here who’d love to have you post up
some of your tanning tips.

(what happened to all the cool emojis?)
 

crustBrother

Miki Dora status
Apr 23, 2001
5,528
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anyone else kind of starting to lose it?
"kind of"?

"starting"?

Nope.

:drowning:

;)

But in all seriousness, mental health has never been my strong point, so I'm pretty stoked that I'm not dealing with anything more serious than an extremely frayed feeling. Quit drinking a year ago so I could lose weight and keep the skiing/backpacking/surfing on the menu for the next decade and I have REALLY been missing the booze lately. Getting good and juiced up sounds really, really nice right about now.
 
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Kento

Duke status
Jan 11, 2002
59,334
8,224
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The Bar
Sorry to hear you've been feeling sh*tty, Subway. Massive uncertainty combined with the burden of everyone's expectations (including/especially your own) will eat at your soul. It sounds like you are trying to do a lot but you might be doing TOO much to compensate and you are using excess mental energy, but in a different direction. Instead of trying to fill in all that empty time, don't. Just find a quiet place outside of the house, leave the phone there (i.e. muting Pavlov's bell), and just chill, do nothing, let your mind drift for as long as you feel like it. Also, are you getting enough sleep or trying to recover a sleep deficit? If you are only getting 6 hours or so over an extended time, that takes a toll. Especially if your mind is working overtime.

I don't know your specific financial situation but it sounds like you are doing decently well with savings and investments. And in your early 40s(?). Have you thought about early retirement or even just scaling back and living on much simpler terms and doing the things you enjoy, whether they bring in money or not?

I am fortunate enough to be working but the small business I work for has decided to be super aggressive, expanding and hiring. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be going that direction instead of the alternative but it is hard to get your own sh*t done while also training people and it seems like I am rushing through one thing to get to the next. The kids also have a unique ability to be the loudest and most destructive when I need the most peace and quiet. That's to be expected, though. I have been surfing a lot in the morning which helps clear my head. And with not having a really set start time at 8 or anything, I can usually get a decent 2-3 hour session in.

Even if you did drink, I wouldn't recommend a depressant to get you out of depression. Couple bong hits, though? :unsure:
 

jamesgang

Miki Dora status
Aug 9, 2006
3,983
1,057
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Location Location
I'm working and actually under a bit of deadline pressure, and it is really stressing me out. But I feel guilty complaining in any way because I know so many people are out of work and hurting.

I have been surfing a bit, but my workout mojo is deteriorating, and the projects are piling up as I stare at them, seemingly helpless to pick up a tool and do something.

This sh!t sucks. It sucks even more to see places that handled it better getting back to something closer to normal life. It sucks even more that all I want to do is get on a plane and get out of Dodge and get barreled, but almost everywhere is closed to travel for Americans.

And boys, it ain't even close to over.
 

mundus

Duke status
Feb 26, 2018
17,381
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Been working part time as laborer(demo, landscaping), wife working from home online. Everything has been ok besides unbelievable crowds and traffic in my beachtown.
 

TheEl

Nep status
Oct 31, 2010
942
605
93
Im with you man. I worked for the first time last week since March 13th. My industry(entertainment) shut down and theres really no clear path to getting back on the train yet.

I went through phases...

Phase 1(the rest of march) - STOKED. Unemployment coming in. Got a ton of work done around the house and in the garden. We had just gotten a 2nd dog so was working with her a bunch. Then they closed the beaches. Thats when I had my first drink in about 9 months. Not that I have a drinking problem to begin with but once they took surfing away it really hit me. I stopped drinking all together 2 years ago. Maybe twice a year I had some tequila with an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. Its just not worth it to me anymore. Feels like poison.

Phase 2(No surf April) - I was moving dirt around the yard like a fucking bulldozer. Smoking a ton of weed. Got in the zone and powered through a lot of projects I had been wanting to get done. Was in a good head space I thought. Started poking around with new job ideas. Cool.

Phase 3(May jah lives in my lungs) - Was smoking wayyy too much and started panicking about work. Surfing came back so felt good again. Didnt want to pick up a tool and do anything though. Was really questioning my purpose and self worth.

Phase 4(June shredded) - I dont even know where this month went. Surfed my brains out and felt like a piece of sh!t. Realized unemployment was going to run dry soon so more panicked.

Phase now - I have a few jobs lined up but working on set is weird. IF everyone played ball and respected one another it would be cool but we are finding out in our crew whos into wearing masks around other people and whos not. Not a fun process. Definitely not working with some people ever again. It blows my mind. Still looking for a new job/career but as I said in another thread, I went to art school, Im fucked! Gonna have to start from the ground up at something, which I really don't mind if it saves me from driving to LA and working on sh!t that is meaningless. We have a pretty low overhead so I dont need to make tons of cash. Just would be nice to actually feel good about my work rather than work in soulless entertainment and advertising.

with that said, anyone hiring? :waving::shaka:
 

PRCD

Miki Dora status
Feb 25, 2020
4,026
1,844
113
anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
About the same. Patience running low, feelings of opportunities closing, formulation of a lot of Plan B's, worries about my kids.

A lot of people are really angry.
 

20W-50 and blood

Duke status
Feb 4, 2004
23,565
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SOCAL
Visit site
anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
man....get yourself a prone paddleboard NOW. FAST. I'm not joking. get out there and make it happen. you'll have a blast while getting all that loco self talk out. i promise you.
 

sussle

Miki Dora status
Oct 11, 2009
3,646
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On the bright side, have a a call with a recruiter that has done me right in the past, got another inquiry about work from someone else last Friday, and I met a new Brazillian smokeshow - who seems to like me back so thats always nice. Now I just have to figure out how to tell the ex who Ive been hanging out with alot during quarantine that our relationship is going no where and I jut want to be friends. Yikes - im horrible at this sh!t.
watch out for those brasileras....i met one 20 years ago, and one thing led to another, and here we are still to this day.
 
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hammies

Phil Edwards status
Apr 8, 2006
5,721
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Working from home is not good for me. I go through phases where I drink every day for a couple of weeks and feel myself slide downwards mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Motivation to do anything takes a dive. Then I take a week or so off and I am recharged and things start looking up. Before Covid I always went through the normal ups and downs of life but in the last few months the swings seem greater.

I am also aware of a growing disillusionment within me with life in general, and wanting a big change. I think this is related to me approaching retirement (T-minus 2 years and counting) and knowing that big change is coming. I am super lucky to live in one of the nicest places in the world and love it here yet I get feelings of wanting to bail out. I think part of this is because of Covid exhaustion, but also I am seeing society in general and my country in particular tear itself to pieces. SB is a little immune but not that much. I think about renting out my house and using the money to go live somewhere else for a few years. Somewhere far away. Maybe Canada or Europe or Costa Rica. Wifey is not on board with this idea, so there's that.

So yeah, just like it is for almost everybody else, 2020 is kind of shitty for me so far, and looks to remain so for a good long while.
 

Ranga

Gerry Lopez status
Dec 31, 2008
1,013
343
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Hey Subway, why not see a counselor? You live in NYC, gotta be some good ones up there right?

You are certainly not alone in your stress or valuing your career and the lack of positive reinforcement has to take a toll.

Its strange, we spend all this time and effort on our physical health and less on our mental or emotional health. This is important enough to see a professional. I would see a psychologist or counselor not a psychiatrist. You don't need meds, you need someone to talk to who is training in mental health (even that sounds bad) We should call them personal brain trainers or something with less of a connotation
For me, physical activity/gym/surfing whatever is just a temporary means to change the way I feel (like alcohol used to be). Therapy is terrific, but I think one needs to commit for at least a year. Recovery programs have provided real relief and given me a better roadmap for living and navigating difficulty (Al-Anon in my case), especially now. But it takes time and effort -- mental health, like physical health, is hard-won.
 
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Sharkbiscuit

Tom Curren status
Aug 6, 2003
13,920
5,009
113
Jacksonville Beach
Covid fckn sucks. I tweaked my ankle pretty early into the lockdown. There went what little jogging improvements I had. The high tide sandbar went to sh!t. Haven't surfed in a few weeks on account of tiny surf and narrow tide window away from the very, very best (and too crowded to enjoy imho) spot.

Honestly, mostly trying not to think about it.
 
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Northern_Shores

Michael Peterson status
Mar 30, 2009
2,689
1,145
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anyone else kind of starting to lose it? NOT suicide watch, this isn't a cry for help, just a vent. all of the yoga, peloton, boardwalk bike rides, even surfed the last couple of days. I'm really tan, and thinner than I've pretty much ever been. And i just keep sinking. my industry could very well be dead for years. I really tried, especially the last couple years, not to attach my "self worth" to my "net worth" and so i'm not really depressed about the lack of income I'm facing after the 20th of this month (who am i kidding yes i am)- it's more about the lack of future prospects. And i'm just getting more and more impatient, intolerant, at times i even feel like i'm on the edge of a panic attack or whatever. racing heart, clammy hands etc. I want to break sh!t. I try not to take it out on my wife and pets, for the most part successfully. Although the puppy did eat a 1/4 bar of surf wax this morning while i was out surfing and now the little shitzu mutt has sticky bumps "cool water" all matted up in her beard and paws and legs. which normally would be hysterical but this morning it nearly sent me into a rage. A buddy of mine beeped his car horn at me when he saw me in the super market parking lot a couple hours ago and i immediately shoved my cart away and spun on the guy ready to start fighting, until i realized it was my buddy. Even still he was like "whoa man, that was a really dark and angry response, are you ok?" nerves are frayed to a thread.

Spa music aint working like it used to. retail therapy isn't an option (and what do i really need anyway?) and i just do pull ups and push ups all day which now just make me angry as well. I was using talk space for a while, but dude was basically regurgitating the same sh!t you would hear or read in any self help book or article. And then when i saw how expensive the next 6 months would be i quickly cancelled that. There is really no escape from this twilight zone. I can't drink, so please don't suggest that as an avenue of escape, TIA.

My vegetables aren't really flourishing like i expected either. yellow squash is coming in, got a few that are shaping up nicely. But the zucchini plant has one pathetic little zuke, nothing on the beefsteak tomato plant yet. Cayenne peppers coming up, but i told my wife to get jalapeno and she got those instead and i have no idea WTF i'm going to do with all of those peppers. Homemade hot sauce i guess. i wanted to pickle fresh jalapenos.

How are you all doing?
Stop doing yoga.