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Mental Health thread
- Thread starter Subway
- Start date
I'm struggling to motivate myself to surf and I think I'm in a negative feedback loop.
When we moved to MN I really missed surfing the first winter. Then buddies would text about how crowded it got during the The Great Covid migration and it became less appealing. Then I went through the actual grieving process and realized how many negatives there were in my surfing life. I have had PTSD induced anxiety since I was pretty young. Crowds trigger my anxiety. Competition for waves triggers my anxiety. I used to cope by being an asshole when surfing and self-medicating when not. Then the asshole bled into my everyday life and I had a pretty negative outlook.
When I ran away from home in January 2020, I immersed myself in this book:
https://drjoedispenza.com/collections/books/products/breaking-the-habit-of-being-yourself-by-dr-joe-dispenza-paperback-book?variant=35489832501409
It goes through the mechanism about how a thought turns into a mood, a mood turns into a habit, a habit turns into your personality and personal reality. You can choose how to respond to stimulus. Great book, very helpful.
Every time I do a surf check, it looks mobbed and all I focus on is the crowd. I see people out having fun who don't appear affected by the crowd. I'm happy for them. I can feel my anxiety rise at the thought of inserting myself in the pack.
It's like the scene where Luke asks Yoda "what am i going to find in there" when he's about to enter the swamp and yoda says "whatever you bring in". I want to surf but I don't want to bring negativity with me.
Anyone got any ideas how to get around it?
When we moved to MN I really missed surfing the first winter. Then buddies would text about how crowded it got during the The Great Covid migration and it became less appealing. Then I went through the actual grieving process and realized how many negatives there were in my surfing life. I have had PTSD induced anxiety since I was pretty young. Crowds trigger my anxiety. Competition for waves triggers my anxiety. I used to cope by being an asshole when surfing and self-medicating when not. Then the asshole bled into my everyday life and I had a pretty negative outlook.
When I ran away from home in January 2020, I immersed myself in this book:
https://drjoedispenza.com/collections/books/products/breaking-the-habit-of-being-yourself-by-dr-joe-dispenza-paperback-book?variant=35489832501409
It goes through the mechanism about how a thought turns into a mood, a mood turns into a habit, a habit turns into your personality and personal reality. You can choose how to respond to stimulus. Great book, very helpful.
Every time I do a surf check, it looks mobbed and all I focus on is the crowd. I see people out having fun who don't appear affected by the crowd. I'm happy for them. I can feel my anxiety rise at the thought of inserting myself in the pack.
It's like the scene where Luke asks Yoda "what am i going to find in there" when he's about to enter the swamp and yoda says "whatever you bring in". I want to surf but I don't want to bring negativity with me.
Anyone got any ideas how to get around it?
I really don't know how the guys out west do it in places like SD-Ventura...My hats off b/c I'm kinda the same way with crowds and cannot just chill until I've gotten my fill or am at an extremely localized spot where a beating is obvious. East Coast gets waves, just not as consistent and wayyy less crowded for the most part where I surf (NC-MD). The water is also in the 40s-50s half the year so that thins things out. Good luck man and thanks for the book recommendation, seems on par with some modern Meditations thought patterns, I'll check it out.
Hardly anybody surfs across the street from my house and I suf solo most of the time, spoiled me and just cannot do crowds anymore. Thing that gets me is travelling, everywhere is crowded now.
Yeah, if there is no current and it's pumping fck it can be frustrating when travelling. Locals always going to get the best waves as they should...the rest of us kinda turned on each other last trip (brazzos v americans) at the point, words were had when a kid dinged my board after leashes tangled (he kept pulling back on all the sets) - all good out of the water though haha and everyone was surfed out in a couple days.
First of all, you ARE doing something about it - wind sports. Second, there's nothing wrong with not surfing. Third, different people have different temperaments and that make them more or less-suited to certain activities and there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of people are trying to be someone else rather than who they are.
Scored a half acre in Iguana for 40k in a 2020 fire sale. Those lots are back in the low 100s now I think
I've never been to southern Nica, but I dig this area (a lot of options with points everywhere)...Quick search today https://aurorabeachfront.com/nicaraguarealestate/property/beachfront,-playa-hermosa-leon.php
Not sure how legit and is prob a dump but damnnn, that's cheap for beachfront - My future Nicaraguan Mamacita and I don't need much
Not sure how legit and is prob a dump but damnnn, that's cheap for beachfront - My future Nicaraguan Mamacita and I don't need much
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Best two week run of surf this year has improved my mental state and surf stock. A little patience and strategic positioning usually pays off in a crowd. Quality over quantity. One good wave can make a session. Sometimes I'm just thankful to paddle out and enjoy one of the most amazing places right here at home.
we were there for one of the large initial protests in 2018, even had to stop for a tire fire (the masked mortar-carrying protestors politely and cheerfully moved some burning tires so we could pass) and I know they flared on and off after that, so the answer is yes. But the danger was never directed at us, and you would have to be a Darwin contestant to wander into any sort of active clash between protestors and the remaining armed supporters of the Junta. Ex pats down there in general (and we have a few veterans here) are not particularly afraid of being caught in any sort of violence.
However I think (assumed) the sellers motivation was probably pandemic and lockdown related. The seller owned 4 of these half acre lots in a row (creek/border behind, and “bosque reserva”’ in front, 500+- meters from panga drops) and I think he just fire-sold during the early gnarliest months of the pandemic because he probably needed cash, and needed it more urgently than he needed 4 wooded lots in iguana. I think he probably made money on his investment (the Quaker in me hopes he did) but he was also NOT happy to be selling a piece of paradise he either planned retiring ON, or with the PROCEEDS of, said piece of paradise. Or, he just needed a little cash and we will be neighbors one day
in reality who the hell knows. I just know it seemed awfully inexpensive, and it was 8 months into a pandemic that by then had taken a hold, and showed no signs of just wandering off. Blood was in the streets as they say….They had recently suspended 401 k withdrawal rules so I took some of that money and bought it sight unseen. finally got there in May of 21 and it was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen
Besides, the unrest in Nicaragua doesn’t hold a candle to the various riots of 2020, Jan 6 etc.
Pun fully and shamelessly intended. The people in the most danger down there over the next 5 years are the people “in charge” and they live behind big walls and have 0 mandate with the population. And it’s not the 80s, or even 90s, down there anymore. They will be a modest little social democracy of sorts soon enough. It’s already a fairly Safe place. Poverty for sure, and crime, a little, but far less than many other tropical paradises…and once the Ortega/Murillo junta is (literally) dead, i think her future is bright.
and if it isn’t? Well the waves are good and I’m not in politics
The locals I've met are the kindest people I've ever met, and I travel...genuinely remember me with what I feel is fondness. They will also fck anyone up who purposely messes with tourists near the coast-and joked that Nicaraguans will kill Nicaraguans, but not gringos. Get out of Managua (even then at your own pace) and don't talk politics and you are golden, granted things can change quick there. Glad you scored a spot...okay I'll stop talking about the place, but man It really has helped me in the last year plus and totally opened my eyes.
How's the health care system down there in Nicaragua? Asking for a friend I met online who bought a plot down there sight unseen to build a surf/yoga retreat in the future as a part time retirement pad.
Specifically,
this thread and all,
the Mental Healthcare?
I way too often have these same thoughts. I always blame it on getting older, and having it way better in the past. Been in Cabo for this week, waves have been pumping. I only managed two meager go outs. The 2nd one at Zippers, I was rousted by two local chuds after my first wave because they didn't like that I caught a wave way deeper than they chose to sit.
Hope everyone is good
indo is the best
Bought to paddle out at telescopes
Here's Britt Merrick on the inside after a sick
One
indo is the best
Bought to paddle out at telescopes
Here's Britt Merrick on the inside after a sick
One
anybody here ever choked, liked really choking and full on suffocating, and then managed to self expel the blockage? That happened to me for the first time late Friday evening,. Forget the context (although there is a big one, but it’s just cliche and unoriginal and painful marriage stuff that I don’t feel like typing)
anyway, almost died choking on my own favorite recipe of chicken at home (PS, Soy Vey Island “Soyaki” for like 2 day marinade, oven for a while, broil for the last few minutes CAREFULLY that glaze will burn fast. And a fiery but colorful Caribbean hot sauce. Like chicken candy but the hot sauce man’s it up…..Oh and also I doint think I can ever eat it again after Friday night but fukk it. It was always a favorite and easy go to meal and I love it. But I don’t think I can ever eat it again. We will see. There are leftovers, after all, because I was only on my second piece
the Adrenaline dump was DEEEEElicious and I’m still all fucked up mentally from the dopamine and adrenaline cocktail of a genuine “about to die” moment. The CLARITY of those moments, when just a few seconds feels like “im a deadman, but luckily I have all the time in the world.”
that is literally what it feels Like, both coming close to actually drowning (not long hold downs, I mean when water has entered your lungs like buckets and you have those last thoughts of “well this is how it goes” and vision is already gone, but you somehow pop up puke and your’e traumatized and adrenalized but otherwise ok. And forever after, it takes a LOT heavier sh!t to REALLY rattle you.
well, this banal, pedestrian way to die nearly got me and I even had the time to think “what a BORING way to die goddamit”: and a took a few steps, had thousands of thoughts. One loud voice said “fucking do something asshole” even as my wife was jumping up to come to assist and I just punched up and heaved like a walrus and out came half a bell and evans chicken thigh. And there was more stuck, still could not breathe, but another hurl and the rest came out. Dogs were STOCKed! Barely chewed sweet chicken thigh meat. My nightmare was the best day of their lives perhaps
an hour later I thouguht it might be ER time. The heaving caused my throat to swell to what felt like a smalll hose at best, and my sinuses were clogged like a soggy dam and could pass no air.
Could ONLY get air if I sat still and went full yoga headspace guy, and dammit it worked. I promised my wife I would not let pride kill me, and I would tell her if we needed to go to the ER. But by golly this lunatic was able to use some simple breathe techniques to quiet his brain and his breathing, and within a half hour, what almost CERTAINLY should have been a fast drive to the local ER, was already calm, and healing, and feeling better,
2 days later the muscles still ache in the region from the adrenaline fueled purge, and I’m still coming off that shock that comes along with all close calls. cathartic af, a week before a Oaxaca trip with a serious swell to contend with on ZERO surfing in months. I’m used to that though. My lungs Legs and heart and mind are ready for it. The recently dislocated shoulder and the recently choking larynx will just have to keep up.
anyway, almost died choking on my own favorite recipe of chicken at home (PS, Soy Vey Island “Soyaki” for like 2 day marinade, oven for a while, broil for the last few minutes CAREFULLY that glaze will burn fast. And a fiery but colorful Caribbean hot sauce. Like chicken candy but the hot sauce man’s it up…..Oh and also I doint think I can ever eat it again after Friday night but fukk it. It was always a favorite and easy go to meal and I love it. But I don’t think I can ever eat it again. We will see. There are leftovers, after all, because I was only on my second piece
the Adrenaline dump was DEEEEElicious and I’m still all fucked up mentally from the dopamine and adrenaline cocktail of a genuine “about to die” moment. The CLARITY of those moments, when just a few seconds feels like “im a deadman, but luckily I have all the time in the world.”
that is literally what it feels Like, both coming close to actually drowning (not long hold downs, I mean when water has entered your lungs like buckets and you have those last thoughts of “well this is how it goes” and vision is already gone, but you somehow pop up puke and your’e traumatized and adrenalized but otherwise ok. And forever after, it takes a LOT heavier sh!t to REALLY rattle you.
well, this banal, pedestrian way to die nearly got me and I even had the time to think “what a BORING way to die goddamit”: and a took a few steps, had thousands of thoughts. One loud voice said “fucking do something asshole” even as my wife was jumping up to come to assist and I just punched up and heaved like a walrus and out came half a bell and evans chicken thigh. And there was more stuck, still could not breathe, but another hurl and the rest came out. Dogs were STOCKed! Barely chewed sweet chicken thigh meat. My nightmare was the best day of their lives perhaps
an hour later I thouguht it might be ER time. The heaving caused my throat to swell to what felt like a smalll hose at best, and my sinuses were clogged like a soggy dam and could pass no air.
Could ONLY get air if I sat still and went full yoga headspace guy, and dammit it worked. I promised my wife I would not let pride kill me, and I would tell her if we needed to go to the ER. But by golly this lunatic was able to use some simple breathe techniques to quiet his brain and his breathing, and within a half hour, what almost CERTAINLY should have been a fast drive to the local ER, was already calm, and healing, and feeling better,
2 days later the muscles still ache in the region from the adrenaline fueled purge, and I’m still coming off that shock that comes along with all close calls. cathartic af, a week before a Oaxaca trip with a serious swell to contend with on ZERO surfing in months. I’m used to that though. My lungs Legs and heart and mind are ready for it. The recently dislocated shoulder and the recently choking larynx will just have to keep up.
Wow, glad you're alright.anybody here ever choked, liked really choking and full on suffocating, and then managed to self expel the blockage? That happened to me for the first time late Friday evening,. Forget the context (although there is a big one, but it’s just cliche and unoriginal and painful marriage stuff that I don’t feel like typing)
anyway, almost died choking on my own favorite recipe of chicken at home (PS, Soy Vey Island “Soyaki” for like 2 day marinade, oven for a while, broil for the last few minutes CAREFULLY that glaze will burn fast. And a fiery but colorful Caribbean hot sauce. Like chicken candy but the hot sauce man’s it up…..Oh and also I doint think I can ever eat it again after Friday night but fukk it. It was always a favorite and easy go to meal and I love it. But I don’t think I can ever eat it again. We will see. There are leftovers, after all, because I was only on my second piece
the Adrenaline dump was DEEEEElicious and I’m still all fucked up mentally from the dopamine and adrenaline cocktail of a genuine “about to die” moment. The CLARITY of those moments, when just a few seconds feels like “im a deadman, but luckily I have all the time in the world.”
that is literally what it feels Like, both coming close to actually drowning (not long hold downs, I mean when water has entered your lungs like buckets and you have those last thoughts of “well this is how it goes” and vision is already gone, but you somehow pop up puke and your’e traumatized and adrenalized but otherwise ok. And forever after, it takes a LOT heavier sh!t to REALLY rattle you.
well, this banal, pedestrian way to die nearly got me and I even had the time to think “what a BORING way to die goddamit”: and a took a few steps, had thousands of thoughts. One loud voice said “fucking do something asshole” even as my wife was jumping up to come to assist and I just punched up and heaved like a walrus and out came half a bell and evans chicken thigh. And there was more stuck, still could not breathe, but another hurl and the rest came out. Dogs were STOCKed! Barely chewed sweet chicken thigh meat. My nightmare was the best day of their lives perhaps
an hour later I thouguht it might be ER time. The heaving caused my throat to swell to what felt like a smalll hose at best, and my sinuses were clogged like a soggy dam and could pass no air.
Could ONLY get air if I sat still and went full yoga headspace guy, and dammit it worked. I promised my wife I would not let pride kill me, and I would tell her if we needed to go to the ER. But by golly this lunatic was able to use some simple breathe techniques to quiet his brain and his breathing, and within a half hour, what almost CERTAINLY should have been a fast drive to the local ER, was already calm, and healing, and feeling better,
2 days later the muscles still ache in the region from the adrenaline fueled purge, and I’m still coming off that shock that comes along with all close calls. cathartic af, a week before a Oaxaca trip with a serious swell to contend with on ZERO surfing in months. I’m used to that though. My lungs Legs and heart and mind are ready for it. The recently dislocated shoulder and the recently choking larynx will just have to keep up.
I'd hate to die stupidly like that.
Just got barreled off my nuts
Bintangs and do it again
Bintangs and do it again
