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Mental Health thread

Sharky

Sharky

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Feb 25, 2006
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Got a phone call about 6 am this morning. One of my best childhood friends killed himself last night. Went out to the shed with a gun. He called me for everything. And he didn't call me for this? Yesterday I was thinking that I needed to check up on him. Hadn't heard from in a few weeks. And I put it off. Don't put it off.
 
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santacruzin

santacruzin

Tom Curren status
Oct 17, 2007
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valley purgatory
Sharky said:
Got a phone call about 6 am this morning. One of my best childhood friends killed himself last night. Went out to the shed with a gun. He called me for everything. And he didn't call me for this? Yesterday I was thinking that I needed to check up on him. Hadn't heard from in a few weeks. And I put it off. Don't put it off.
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Oh fuck. i have had the same experience with two friends.
As hard as it is dont blame yourself.

At the end of the day there may have been nothing you could have done.
i hope your friend has found peace RIP.
 
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Sharky

Sharky

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Feb 25, 2006
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santacruzin said:
Oh fook. i have had the same experience with two friends.
As hard as it is dont blame yourself.

At the end of the day there may have been nothing you could have done.
i hope your friend has found peace RIP.
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I exchanged 13 texts with him over the course of January. And I had no idea this was coming.
 
Mr Doof

Mr Doof

Duke status
Jan 23, 2002
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San Francisco, CA
Sharky said:
I exchanged 13 texts with him over the course of January. And I had no idea this was coming.
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At the risk of this trying to sound like "You think you've got trouble, try mine on for size", had a similar experience as yours, except in my case it was him telling me he was going to kill himself (he was in another country and across and ocean).

This went on for about 2 yrs.

At some point I was like, "Go ahead and do it, you're bringing me along for a ride I do not want to be on."

But all I did was just listen and try to let him vent and offer some suggestions.

In the end, I got to paddle out with ashes while his mother and father and friends watched from the cliff.

I don't know what you want to take from this, I don't think what I experience is worse than yours or negates yours, but, I am sorry to hear about your friend and I know it is going to be another straw on the proverbial camel's back.

PS
At some point, he said he was going to give me his Paypal account access username and password, but no. Tried to help his ex-wife get it but last I heard, they had not done anything. Am too much of a wuss to bring it up now.
 
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santacruzin

santacruzin

Tom Curren status
Oct 17, 2007
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Sharky said:
I exchanged 13 texts with him over the course of January. And I had no idea this was coming.
Click to expand...
it’s such a giant sh!t sandwich, when I got the call about my friend Kevin I knew right away.

I knew it was coming and I didn’t do enough. Then I realized there was probably nothing I could have done,.
It still hurts just not as much.
 
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crustBrother

crustBrother

Kelly Slater status
Apr 23, 2001
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Sharky said:
Got a phone call about 6 am this morning. One of my best childhood friends killed himself last night. Went out to the shed with a gun. He called me for everything. And he didn't call me for this? Yesterday I was thinking that I needed to check up on him. Hadn't heard from in a few weeks. And I put it off. Don't put it off.
Click to expand...
Jesus, Sharky. What a fucking run you're on lately. Hate that for you. :(

Also, advice taken. Call made.
 
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Autoprax

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
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Vagina Point
Sharky said:
Got a phone call about 6 am this morning. One of my best childhood friends killed himself last night. Went out to the shed with a gun. He called me for everything. And he didn't call me for this? Yesterday I was thinking that I needed to check up on him. Hadn't heard from in a few weeks. And I put it off. Don't put it off.
Click to expand...
There is a name for this.

Survior's guilt?

I always get it when people die. I feel like there was something I could have done.

They have been dropping like flies around me.
 
Sharky

Sharky

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Feb 25, 2006
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Yeah. Same.

Yesterday I found myself getting angry with him for doing this. Today I'm back to just profoundly sad. He got the gun, walked outside to the garden shed so he wouldn't mess up the house, and put the gun to his head. That had to have been the most miserable walk. It had to have been so dark. Whatever. I have to shake this.

I just walked out to the garage and setup the bench press. One warmup set and I’m done. Just don’t have it. Maybe tomorrow.
For the time being it feels like my sober February may be on life support. lol. Day 5?
 
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Sharky

Sharky

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Feb 25, 2006
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Thanks. Weirdly enough, the night he died I came awake and sat up in bed at about 1:30 AM. My wife said I was muttering something about a gunshot and looking around the room confused/concerned. Then I settled and went back to sleep.

When his wife called early that morning she mentioned the time that my childhood friend had shot himself. 1:30 AM.
 
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nrthcty

nrthcty

Gerry Lopez status
Jun 30, 2009
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Sharky said:
Thanks. Weirdly enough, the night he died I came awake and sat up in bed at about 1:30 AM. My wife said I was muttering something about a gunshot and looking around the room confused/concerned. Then I settled and went back to sleep.

When his wife called early that morning she mentioned the time that my childhood friend had shot himself. 1:30 AM.
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had an uncle come to me in a dream, telling me things would work out - woke up the next day to find out he had passed that night.

I don't believe in most stuff (besides extraterrestrials) - but that's some weird coincidence type sh*t.

AND - terribly sorry for your loss Sharky - positive vibes sent
 
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crustBrother

crustBrother

Kelly Slater status
Apr 23, 2001
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erbb coven coming out of the closet here?

Bayview said:
Night before my grandmother passed, I had a dream I was standing at waters edge on the beach looking at the waves. She walked along the tide line towards me, asked me to carry her further down the beach, I carried her a ways, she asked to get down and then blended into the back ground. ( like all field of dreams esq) She passed the next day and haven’t remembered a dream since.

I know I’ve dreamed and can recall general feelings but no details or specifics.

love to know what this means. Like if I remember a dream, are elements gunna become real life? Trips me out
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