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I always get bummed out on my birthday. There's probably a childhood related reason for it, but there's one for everything so who gives a fvvk. This time around I was up the whole previous night with a toothache, then the morning of really bad back pain started....some family members invited me to go out to late lunch because that's what someone who works six days a week in a restaurant wants to do with the seventh. The surf was not surf. The day was not promising.
So I booked my secret spot hotel, told everyone I was sick and staying in the house, and spent the time going back and forth from spa tub to different temperature showers, reading books and watching letterkenny.
I'm lonely, physically and mentally injured, and kinda lost. But (we can summit mount what's-your-point any time now) I am responsible for my own feelings. What happens to us is mostly outside our control. How we deal with it is mostly up to us. When the universe lands a couple big shots and staggers you, spend a few hours naked in the water, laughing.