How Not to Park Your Boat

BigUps

Michael Peterson status
Mar 18, 2011
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Hotel Coral Essex
I'm fascinated with the ocean boating world and always dreamed of having a nice boat in warm water climate. I have so many questions about this video and hoping you guys can learn me.

I'm fascinated with how many youtube channels there are devoted to boats going in and out of Haulover Inlet. Once you watch a few of these vids, youtube starts recommending more of same. There is so much Haulover content. While there is plenty of novice boater mistakes on display, it's well known that the videographers are shooting and more and more boaters are willing to put on a show by loading the bow or putting the hammer down. It's not uncommon to see the same boat doing several passes trying to make sure they make all the edits.

 

hammies

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Apr 8, 2006
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That's like saying "I'm gonna go over the falls at Pipeline until I get my picture in the mags"
 
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Sharkbiscuit

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Aug 6, 2003
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1. How is there not a law all children must wear lifejackets in a boat? Incredible.

2. (2:00) Why is the boat listing so hard? Don't have they have a bilge pump to get the water out? Weight distribution problem?

3. (7:37) How much does it cost in maintenance and slip for a bad ass boat like that? Do you leave them in the water year round or do you pull them out for land storage with cover? Are they mainly built to fish off or just speed around on the water between your private islands?

4. (11:46) How much it cost to get towed from one of those tow boats? Do they make good money towing idiots all day?

5. For larger boats, do you hire someone to maintain and captain the vessel?

6. (14:22) What kind of a boat is that?
1. 6 and under AND 26 feet and under. No law to wear a helmet on a motorcycle. Bonus for head under water, already doused cell phone held above it.

2. Weight distribution problem. There's one guy at the port console and the rest of the sack of potatoes is all on the starboard side.

3. Starts at like $12 or so per foot and can get ritzy. Do you want a yacht club with a pool and restaurant? Or a rickety old dock with numbered days. How nice of an area. Maintenance depends how much you use it and how well you take care of it. That is about the upper-end of the trailerable vessel size. If the owner is a South Florida resident year-round, they probably leave it in the water year round. If they're from up nawth, they probably de-fluid it and lift it out and dry dock it in the summer. Or pay to have it sent to wherever between DC and Ogunquit. The boat shown at 7:37 is built for fishing. The black things on the top of the console are outriggers; the back of the console has rodholders, there's what looks like a rigging station with a sink(?) behind the second row of seats. There are rod holders all up the gunnels (forward for kite fishing) and where the transom gunnel gets a little wider, those two larger squarish grey pieces are lids on livewells. But plenty of people buy those just for boating itself.

4. Depends; not sure if Haulover has a special towing. Sea Tow membership is reasonable. Otherwise it's a few-several thou depending how deep, literally and figuratively, the sh!t your in is.

5. Sportfishing boats over 50-60 and larger yachts, often yes, there will be a hired captain. Possibly first mate too for sportfish, especially over 60 foot. Larger yachts have few to several crew. The extent to which the captain is expected to clean fish and work on diesel motors in cramped places for hours on end varies.

6. A duck-billed platypus.

I'm getting the sense the multiple outboard motor thing is kind of a like a big lifted truck. Boat owner is over compensating for lack of size and power in other areas of his life. :monkey:




The top boat is purely for power boating. There's not a single rodholder on the thing.

The bottom two boats are rigged for fishing. Rodholders, outriggers, livewells, what looks like a rocket launcher in the cockpit of the third one, rigging station/tackle drawers vs. upholstered rear-facing seating....

If you wanted to go fast you could get a shifter kart or a super-charged waverunner. If you want your dick in a 20-something stripper with hourglass figure, enforcer ass, and hossmaster boltaroos you need a "my wallet is long, girthy, and rock hard" statement that all her friends can go on to see how much disposable income her figure, ass, and funbalalalas command.
 
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keenfish

Duke status
May 12, 2002
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1. 6 and under AND 26 feet and under. No law to wear a helmet on a motorcycle. Bonus for head under water, already doused cell phone held above it.

2. Weight distribution problem. There's one guy at the port console and the rest of the sack of potatoes is all on the starboard side.

3. Starts at like $12 or so per foot and can get ritzy. Do you want a yacht club with a pool and restaurant? Or a rickety old dock with numbered days. How nice of an area. Maintenance depends how much you use it and how well you take care of it. That is about the upper-end of the trailerable vessel size. If the owner is a South Florida resident year-round, they probably leave it in the water year round. If they're from up nawth, they probably de-fluid it and lift it out and dry dock it in the summer. Or pay to have it sent to wherever between DC and Ogunquit. The boat shown at 7:37 is built for fishing. The black things on the top of the console are outriggers; the back of the console has rodholders, there's what looks like a rigging station with a sink(?) behind the second row of seats. There are rod holders all up the gunnels (forward for kite fishing) and where the transom gunnel gets a little wider, those two larger squarish grey pieces are lids on livewells. But plenty of people buy those just for boating itself.

4. Depends; not sure if Haulover has a special towing. Sea Tow membership is reasonable. Otherwise it's a few-several thou depending how deep, literally and figuratively, the sh!t your in is.

5. Sportfishing boats over 50-60 and larger yachts, often yes, there will be a hired captain. Possibly first mate too for sportfish, especially over 60 foot. Larger yachts have few to several crew. The extent to which the captain is expected to clean fish and work on diesel motors in cramped places for hours on end varies.

6. A duck-billed platypus.



The top boat is purely for power boating. There's not a single rodholder on the thing.

The bottom two boats are rigged for fishing. Rodholders, outriggers, livewells, what looks like a rocket launcher in the cockpit of the third one, rigging station/tackle drawers vs. upholstered rear-facing seating....

If you wanted to go fast you could get a shifter kart or a super-charged waverunner. If you want your dick in a 20-something stripper with hourglass figure, enforcer ass, and hossmaster boltaroos you need a "my wallet is long, girthy, and rock hard" statement that all her friends can go on to see how much disposable income her figure, ass, and funbalalalas command.
I would get bizzy with 77777. She is sexy! :dancing:
 

One-Off

Tom Curren status
Jul 28, 2005
10,119
4,724
113
33.8N - 118.4W
I'm fascinated with the ocean boating world and always dreamed of having a nice boat in warm water climate. I have so many questions about this video and hoping you guys can learn me.


1. How is there not a law all children must wear lifejackets in a boat? Incredible.

2. (2:00) Why is the boat listing so hard? Don't have they have a bilge pump to get the water out? Weight distribution problem?

3. (7:37) How much does it cost in maintenance and slip for a bad ass boat like that? Do you leave them in the water year round or do you pull them out for land storage with cover? Are they mainly built to fish off or just speed around on the water between your private islands?

4. (11:46) How much it cost to get towed from one of those tow boats? Do they make good money towing idiots all day?

5. For larger boats, do you hire someone to maintain and captain the vessel?

6. (14:22) What kind of a boat is that?

I wonder how much of the boats' behavior in that video is due to the outboards? In sailing you always do everything you can to "keep the ends light." Centering the weight creates a more seakindly motion, prevents "hobby horsing." I would always get chosen to "work the bow" on the boats I raced on because I was light. Having that much weight hanging off the end of the boat must be detrimental to the motion. Better to have an inboard?
 

_____

Phil Edwards status
Sep 17, 2012
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I wonder how much of the boats' behavior in that video is due to the outboards?
I've been through short period "potato patch" at SC island (similar but longer than that Inlet) sailing, outboards, outdrive, prone paddle, etc and nothing is immune to those kind of conditions. Cats will hobby horse waay more easily than mono hulls in those conditions.
 

r32

Administrator
Staff member
Apr 1, 2005
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Cambria
@Sharkbiscuit @bluemarlin04 and @llilibel03 coming strong with the boat knowledge. Thanks guys! I've so much to learn about boats, and really want to get one at some point in my life and try my hand at the boating lifestyle on the ocean.

In love with those Italian boats. Sexy is an understatement. Beautiful designs. Would just need to add an Italian car and Italian model for the trifecta win.
 

Sharkbiscuit

Duke status
Aug 6, 2003
18,634
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Jacksonville Beach
@Sharkbiscuit @bluemarlin04 and @llilibel03 coming strong with the boat knowledge. Thanks guys! I've so much to learn about boats, and really want to get one at some point in my life and try my hand at the boating lifestyle on the ocean.

In love with those Italian boats. Sexy is an understatement. Beautiful designs. Would just need to add an Italian car and Italian model for the trifecta win.
Well the first thing to learn about boats is they're holes in the ocean you throw money into.
The second thing to learn about boats is you already know a shitload about (and own) the affordable kinds.

You will need several dozen moonshots methinks before you can afford an Italian boat, and Italian car, and Italian model. Knowing jack sh!t about any of it, my guess is, the Lambo winds up being the cheapest, by miles.
 
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oneworlded

Michael Peterson status
Jun 4, 2004
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chrisdixonreports.com
Couple of things that trip me out to with the Haulover vids too is how sh!t the conditions are offshore in a bunch of these vids. I mean, they're going out of the inlet to go motor around in 4 foot 4 second windchop? Idiotic. My old Hydrasports has a hinged wooden transom flap that you can lower or better yet - remove before you get into those kind of conditions so it will drain rapidly as long as you can get the nose up and passengers to the stern. Of course, you end up in a position where you're taking water over the stern, well that's another story. A lot of the boats in these Haulover vids are complete sh!t designs for offshore. They're essentially bathtubs. You get 'em full of water, you're fully relying on the bilge pump to get you out of trouble.
1638367336617.png
 

mundus

Duke status
Feb 26, 2018
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Couple of things that trip me out to with the Haulover vids too is how sh!t the conditions are offshore in a bunch of these vids. I mean, they're going out of the inlet to go motor around in 4 foot 4 second windchop? Idiotic. My old Hydrasports has a hinged wooden transom flap that you can lower or better yet - remove before you get into those kind of conditions so it will drain rapidly as long as you can get the nose up and passengers to the stern. Of course, you end up in a position where you're taking water over the stern, well that's another story. A lot of the boats in these Haulover vids are complete sh!t designs for offshore. They're essentially bathtubs. You get 'em full of water, you're fully relying on the bilge pump to get you out of trouble.
View attachment 120049
Used to have a 23 parker cc and fished alot of shoals , had that boat buried in whitewater, popped up like a cork and drained quickly. Notch transom is the key.
 
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oneworlded

Michael Peterson status
Jun 4, 2004
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My uncle bought my Hydrasports new back when he had a little cottage on Fire Island, NY. He would go there with my aunt and their young daughter most weekends from Spring to Fall - and knew he needed a boat to get him safely from Connecticut across Long Island Sound. He had a really cool front weatherscreen setup I wish wish wish I still had. It basically encased the front of the boat from bow to console in canvas and clear plastic so he could pound through weather and you'd stay completely dry up front. He must have spent a fortune on it.
 
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hammies

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Apr 8, 2006
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The fact that more of these morons don't die is amazing. The number of people who go out on and in the ocean without having a clue how the ocean works or an ounce of respect for the power of the ocean is huge.
 
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mundus

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The fact that more of these morons don't die is amazing. The number of people who go out on and in the ocean without having a clue how the ocean works or an ounce of respect for the power of the ocean is huge.
You get away with a lot of stuff you shouldn't on the water, until you don't.