I look Irish American and my wife is Japanese American. When we're in Europe together, people frequently try to speak to me in French. Wife thinks it's hilarious - blames my hygiene/appearance, cause if you're Japanese everything must be about hygiene...I grew up in the North East, but have lived in the South East, the Pacific North West, the Rocky Mountains, and California. In all of those places, there were very few people that lived there who grew up there. I don't think I ever cared where my neighbors were from as long as they were cool. I feel bad for people who are really just seeking out a better work-life balance and get sh!t on for it.
Funny, whenever I'm in Hawaii I always seem to come across locals that try to give me the local discount. I'm white, but my wife is Japanese, so perhaps that's my way in
REMINDER: THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to monitor the Forums. However, THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to review any materials submitted to or posted on the Forums, and remove, delete, redact or otherwise modify such materials, in its sole discretion and for any reason whatsoever, at any time and from time to time, without notice or further obligation to you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to display or post any materials provided by you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to disclose, at any time and from time to time, any information or materials that we deem necessary or appropriate to satisfy any applicable law, regulation, contract obligation, legal or dispute process or government request. Click on the following hyperlinks to further read the applicable Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Hawaii- Done
- Thread starter doc_flavonoid
- Start date
I've only been to HI once, but that was my experience. I'm not really very cool at all, but I was incredibly grateful to be there in paradise and all the locals I interacted with seemed super friendly. Well, there was *one* big, tough hombre out at Polihale that radiated hostility, but it was easy enough to just get the hell out of his way.
Moving from a big city culture to a rural, insular place is always a culture shock. Toss in some racism and you got a shitparty. That dude who got rolled by the locals in Kahakuloa would probably had the same reception in Alpine, Wyoming. Beautiful, rural place but they really don't want city people buying up and moving in. Especially if you have the wrong skin color.
Might have been a different result if they moved to Lahaina or upcountry or some place a little less "locals only".
Might have been a different result if they moved to Lahaina or upcountry or some place a little less "locals only".
These are the types of people in Silicon Valley. Take a look at Wanna-Be Caesar Augustus:
The people who work for him aspire to be like him.
The people who work for him aspire to be like him.
lots of these dream chasers project onto their new destination and forget about things like timezones mandatory online meetings etc.
Yeah, that's Hollywood's rendition of nerds: nerds are really these diamonds in the rough held-down by dumb jocks who must be heroically overcome. The success of Silicon Valley nerds over the past several decades has made this seem plausible. HOwever, even when a nerd manages to marry and procreate, the Asian wife usually doesn't take his last name and the kids are more of an accessory like a handbag or a self-fulfillment project. The wife is usually just looking at the husband as a means of fulfilling her life goals (power, status, etc). For example, look at this ugly couple (shave its ass and make it walk backwards). I wish I could say this is the only one of these couples I've seen:
The reality is that jocks usually run things because they're more personable, more athletic, taller, and smarter. They present a far better sales front end. While nerds may have raw IQ, they don't know how to harness it in a way that overcomes their weaknesses. They spend days sperging on HackerNews about bugs and firmware updates and rail at everyone else for why they can't get laid. They are always considered a cost center because while they know how to add features to products, their bizarre and usually disgusting monomaniacal obsessions can tank products and waste hundreds of millions if they're given the levers of power. I've seen this.
A lot of parallels here in the Caribbean. These statesiders move down and are all hustle and bustle and it just immediately starts things off on the wrong foot. We are significantly less efficient than HI and when these yankees come down and want things to work like the states they get all flustered and just start spinning in circles.
It is a must to say Good morning, good afternoon, and good night (you can use good evening around dusk time). Its an instant give away that you are either a newcomer or tourist when you walk into a place of business and skip this. Even a friendly hello doesn't cut it.
And discussions of race are very frank here. You have black, red skin, and clear skin. These are used to describe the varying shades of color. Then you have white folks or yankees.
The West Indian people will look at you HARD. It makes statesiders very uncomfortable. But the minute you smile and greet with a good morning etc, they smile back broadly and you feel welcomed. Although there are some that will just continue to just straight up grill you haha.
Lots of people from the states come down. Most don't last and the majority do not embrace the culture or even attempt to integrate. I feel adopted because my wife is from here and I have a lot of friends that are born and raised here. Plus I have embraced the culture thoroughly and get a lot of respect because of that.
I love my Caribbean people. Always had a hard time connecting in HI because I was never raised around Asian and Polynesian culture. But I grew up in South Florida around Caribbean people. The first time I visited, I immediatly felt home and started planning my future life in the Caribbean.
It is a must to say Good morning, good afternoon, and good night (you can use good evening around dusk time). Its an instant give away that you are either a newcomer or tourist when you walk into a place of business and skip this. Even a friendly hello doesn't cut it.
And discussions of race are very frank here. You have black, red skin, and clear skin. These are used to describe the varying shades of color. Then you have white folks or yankees.
The West Indian people will look at you HARD. It makes statesiders very uncomfortable. But the minute you smile and greet with a good morning etc, they smile back broadly and you feel welcomed. Although there are some that will just continue to just straight up grill you haha.
Lots of people from the states come down. Most don't last and the majority do not embrace the culture or even attempt to integrate. I feel adopted because my wife is from here and I have a lot of friends that are born and raised here. Plus I have embraced the culture thoroughly and get a lot of respect because of that.
I love my Caribbean people. Always had a hard time connecting in HI because I was never raised around Asian and Polynesian culture. But I grew up in South Florida around Caribbean people. The first time I visited, I immediatly felt home and started planning my future life in the Caribbean.
no matter where you go, there you are
very few transplants bother to assimilate. it takes years and for many, their ego cant handle it.
thats why they get busy turning their new "home" into the same shithole they left because it became a shithole after they showed up
case in point. coastal california
still waiting for all the east coasters to rediscover their roots and just go home
Good read. Thanks for posting that articleRace gets 'discussed' in a very direct way in HI that never happens on the mainland. Too small a place to completely get away from 'other'. People have to deal with each other and a result they talk about, and to each, other in ways that would be considered super un-PC on the mainland. IMO, it seems to work a lot better.
Opinion | Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii (Published 2019)
The “aloha spirit” may hold a deep lesson for all of us.www.nytimes.com
Being a native east coaster I tend to appreciate the more direct conversation so we can get to the point, solve the problem, and move on (then drink some beers together). Out here on the west coast people tend to dance around issues because it might hurt feelings. It's super frustrating sometimes.
My wife works in education and her office has been trying to incorporate equality training (from an outside third party) to help get the caucasian employees to recognize their white privilege which would hopefully help them recognize their internal bias towards the colored students and their families. The amount of white privilege in Marin County is staggering (I know shocker!!). She loved the training sessions as she witnessed some of her colleagues really open up about recognizing how white privilege and bias impacts their everyday life and how different everyday situations can be for their colored co-workers. Now she loves to have those difficult-direct conversations almost to a point where she instigates them. She'd thrive in NYC or Hawaii me thinks.
what grade(s) does your wife teach in Marin and is she in a public or private school?Good read. Thanks for posting that article
Being a native east coaster I tend to appreciate the more direct conversation so we can get to the point, solve the problem, and move on (then drink some beers together). Out here on the west coast people tend to dance around issues because it might hurt feelings. It's super frustrating sometimes.
My wife works in education and her office has been trying to incorporate equality training (from an outside third party) to help get the caucasian employees to recognize their white privilege which would hopefully help them recognize their internal bias towards the colored students and their families. The amount of white privilege in Marin County is staggering (I know shocker!!). She loved the training sessions as she witnessed some of her colleagues really open up about recognizing how white privilege and bias impacts their everyday life and how different everyday situations can be for their colored co-workers. Now she loves to have those difficult-direct conversations almost to a point where she instigates them. She'd thrive in NYC or Hawaii me thinks.
I could never assimilate in NorCal because it would mean becoming a far worse version of myself. Back to SoCal I went.
NorCal seems to have too many sanctimonious transplants from the East Coast who are really mad at God.
This is one of the biggest things people overlook.
I went to the all boys school in Kaimuki known for football. You know the one.
The transplants kids got it the worst. There is very few white kids at that school to begin with. Add in being a white transplant and you better have some thick skin. Even the nerds got treated better then those kids.
The only transplant kids that didnt get picked on were the ones who were good at football and even then they had to earn their keep.
Smarter? Isn't the stereotype for jocks simply "more athletic"?
No offense to the smart jocks out there, but when I wanted to sign up for an easy science course, I tried to get into 'Rocks for Jocks' but my advisor said something like "No dice, Mr. Science Major". After that, I didn't even bother trying to take 'math for plants'.
Anyway, plenty of socially awkward types from all the colors of the human experience.
The tesla thing is odd. So many old Asians buying Teslas out here.
And yeah the trucks are ridiculous, but Hawaii Loa Ridge isn't in Hawaii.
What is odd about Teslas in Hawaii? Gas is $1.50 more than in Jacksonville based on 5 seconds of google searching, and it's almost physically impossible to exceed the range on one trip.
I work in tech and service some offices on the West Coast. I can tell you first hand it is a pain the ass. They want a 9am meeting, ok, I'm up at 6am zooming in. They don't want a 9am meeting, ok, wake up at your normal time with 30 emails from one office. Need something at 2pm Hawaii time from them, check your 30 emails tomorrow morning. Want to surf early or mid morning? Come in to 8 missed calls and a 80 unanswered texts. They know when you're out having fun.
I have a few clients in London and Poland. Not fun having meetings at 10pm Hawaii time.
Last edited: