REMINDER: THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to monitor the Forums. However, THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to review any materials submitted to or posted on the Forums, and remove, delete, redact or otherwise modify such materials, in its sole discretion and for any reason whatsoever, at any time and from time to time, without notice or further obligation to you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. has no obligation to display or post any materials provided by you. THE ARENA PLATFORM, INC. reserves the right to disclose, at any time and from time to time, any information or materials that we deem necessary or appropriate to satisfy any applicable law, regulation, contract obligation, legal or dispute process or government request. Click on the following hyperlinks to further read the applicable Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Has Chris Rock been canceled?
- Thread starter potato-nator
- Start date
Name one person on erBB who never got offended.
Random guy maybe?
Everybody gets offended at some point.
Let's talk about the psychology of being offended:
They may be anxious
People who are easily offended may also struggle with anxiety and a need to control their version of the world. They are used to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may find themselves needing to control others’ responses as well.
Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety in that it requires the other person to acknowledge and potentially tailor their thinking and behavior to match the offended person’s worldview. Essentially, they have a need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety.
They may be driven by guilt
People who have engaged in offensive behavior sometimes have a tendency to overcompensate with moral rectitude as a way to help lessen the guilt they are feeling, as well as convince everyone else (and themselves) they are not truly a “bad” person.
Along these lines, it can also be a form of projection, which is a psychological defense mechanism we all use at some point to tolerate our negative attributes. Taking offense can be a way to disown the part of ourselves that might actually agree with what is being said by putting the responsibility on the other person.
They may be insecure
People who feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They typically have not learned how to get their needs met assertively and often respond in a passive aggressive manner.
As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience.
They are trying to rewrite a pain from their past
Offensive comments are just that to the listener – offensive. Offensive comments tend to strike deeply at a past pain that has not been worked through yet.
Being offended is a way to validate and address the pain by speaking to it and for it in the moment and in a way a person may not have been able to do in the past. It is as if they are standing up for themselves in a way they were not previously able to do at the time the pain was originally inflicted.
On occasion, we all become offended. Sometimes it’s an appropriate response and sometimes it isn’t. There are several reasons we are offended too easily.
Being highly sensitive
Some people are simply more sensitive than others. That’s their temperament, how they’re wired. It’s very hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are.
One strategy when you feel hurt by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me. You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful.
Having parents who modeled oversensitivity
If your parents were easily offended, then became defensive or went on the offensive, you won’t have learned skills in childhood to handle untoward remarks or actions and will think that this is how everyone responds to them. When you have the mindset that you need to feel hurt and fight back, you are missing out on growth opportunities.
Consider whether your parents’ mindset was “you hurt me, I’ll hurt you back” or sulking when people criticized them. If so, it’s time to realize that your parents were unhealthy role models in this respect and look to others to see more effective ways to respond to others.
Having an abusive or traumatic childhood
When we are abused or traumatized as children, the actions taken against us get stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat.
Even when we’re adults, we have sore spots which can easily get re-triggered. If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child.
The way out of this is to remind yourself that you don’t have to feel heavily wounded now because you’re not as fragile as you were in your youth.
Expecting the world to be nice
Some people have unrealistic expectations of others. They think everyone should always be nice and are not used to being criticized. This often comes from having parents and other relatives who try to cushion every critical comment and keep a child’s self-esteem high. These children grow up to be people without resources to manage criticism.
The way around this mindset is to learn that criticism can be useful and to welcome it from people we trust. Rather than think about someone’s comment meaning, “You’re bad,” think of it as saying “You could be or do better!”
Research has also proved that these feelings are known as “self-conscious emotions”, when someone is offended at small things like if you’re not answering their “good morning” greetings and they are not being the first person informed of a change of plans. These are an example of insecurity demonstrating as an offense with implications of anxiety, fear, and sometimes a bit of manipulation.
Following are a few more reasons, why people get offended easily:
They are anxious or have an anxiety disorder
People who are easily offended have an abnormal desire for control and actually suffer from anxiety. They normally live and operate in a world where they feel like they are in control. They believe that they are right and their insight towards truth is actually a truth. They have no room for other people’s thoughts and beliefs.
Holding resentments helps them to feel empowered
They are passive-aggressive because they don’t know how to have an emotionally healthy conversation with others. Being passive-aggressive is a form of power that they want to maintain in a relationship because they don’t know how to express themselves.
They have insecurities
Some people may develop insecure attachment in their childhood, which continuous towards their adulthood. They think people don’t respond to their needs, therefore, they shut down their own needs or overreact.
They overreact and get offended by people for not getting what they actually want. They start thinking people are not there for them or people are taking their advantage, that’s why they become inflexible and inflexibility is trauma itself.
They are in pain
People who get easily offended, if you research a little deeper, you will find that they have gone through any trauma, abandonment, and negligence. This is the reason they become emotionally isolated.
They enforce their values and beliefs upon you
Sometimes you came across people who continuously point out you on small things which are emotionally draining, upsetting and you often think that they didn’t like you.
But don’t worry it is not about you, this behavior actually defines them. If people get offended don’t take it personally, in reality, they want to project their values and beliefs upon others.
They need your compassion and love
When we encounter people, who are constantly making grudges and get offended by small things, we want to avoid them but maybe those people require love and empathy more than anything else.
Everyone deserves empathy and regard. If we give them the same compassion instead of avoiding them, then we will understand that it is not personal and they have their own work to do.
Sometimes they just need recognition, give them respect, and maintain a healthy boundary in a relationship with them.
They may be anxious
People who are easily offended may also struggle with anxiety and a need to control their version of the world. They are used to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may find themselves needing to control others’ responses as well.
Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety in that it requires the other person to acknowledge and potentially tailor their thinking and behavior to match the offended person’s worldview. Essentially, they have a need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety.
They may be driven by guilt
People who have engaged in offensive behavior sometimes have a tendency to overcompensate with moral rectitude as a way to help lessen the guilt they are feeling, as well as convince everyone else (and themselves) they are not truly a “bad” person.
Along these lines, it can also be a form of projection, which is a psychological defense mechanism we all use at some point to tolerate our negative attributes. Taking offense can be a way to disown the part of ourselves that might actually agree with what is being said by putting the responsibility on the other person.
They may be insecure
People who feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They typically have not learned how to get their needs met assertively and often respond in a passive aggressive manner.
As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience.
They are trying to rewrite a pain from their past
Offensive comments are just that to the listener – offensive. Offensive comments tend to strike deeply at a past pain that has not been worked through yet.
Being offended is a way to validate and address the pain by speaking to it and for it in the moment and in a way a person may not have been able to do in the past. It is as if they are standing up for themselves in a way they were not previously able to do at the time the pain was originally inflicted.
On occasion, we all become offended. Sometimes it’s an appropriate response and sometimes it isn’t. There are several reasons we are offended too easily.
Being highly sensitive
Some people are simply more sensitive than others. That’s their temperament, how they’re wired. It’s very hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are.
One strategy when you feel hurt by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me. You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful.
Having parents who modeled oversensitivity
If your parents were easily offended, then became defensive or went on the offensive, you won’t have learned skills in childhood to handle untoward remarks or actions and will think that this is how everyone responds to them. When you have the mindset that you need to feel hurt and fight back, you are missing out on growth opportunities.
Consider whether your parents’ mindset was “you hurt me, I’ll hurt you back” or sulking when people criticized them. If so, it’s time to realize that your parents were unhealthy role models in this respect and look to others to see more effective ways to respond to others.
Having an abusive or traumatic childhood
When we are abused or traumatized as children, the actions taken against us get stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat.
Even when we’re adults, we have sore spots which can easily get re-triggered. If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child.
The way out of this is to remind yourself that you don’t have to feel heavily wounded now because you’re not as fragile as you were in your youth.
Expecting the world to be nice
Some people have unrealistic expectations of others. They think everyone should always be nice and are not used to being criticized. This often comes from having parents and other relatives who try to cushion every critical comment and keep a child’s self-esteem high. These children grow up to be people without resources to manage criticism.
The way around this mindset is to learn that criticism can be useful and to welcome it from people we trust. Rather than think about someone’s comment meaning, “You’re bad,” think of it as saying “You could be or do better!”
Research has also proved that these feelings are known as “self-conscious emotions”, when someone is offended at small things like if you’re not answering their “good morning” greetings and they are not being the first person informed of a change of plans. These are an example of insecurity demonstrating as an offense with implications of anxiety, fear, and sometimes a bit of manipulation.
Following are a few more reasons, why people get offended easily:
They are anxious or have an anxiety disorder
People who are easily offended have an abnormal desire for control and actually suffer from anxiety. They normally live and operate in a world where they feel like they are in control. They believe that they are right and their insight towards truth is actually a truth. They have no room for other people’s thoughts and beliefs.
Holding resentments helps them to feel empowered
They are passive-aggressive because they don’t know how to have an emotionally healthy conversation with others. Being passive-aggressive is a form of power that they want to maintain in a relationship because they don’t know how to express themselves.
They have insecurities
Some people may develop insecure attachment in their childhood, which continuous towards their adulthood. They think people don’t respond to their needs, therefore, they shut down their own needs or overreact.
They overreact and get offended by people for not getting what they actually want. They start thinking people are not there for them or people are taking their advantage, that’s why they become inflexible and inflexibility is trauma itself.
They are in pain
People who get easily offended, if you research a little deeper, you will find that they have gone through any trauma, abandonment, and negligence. This is the reason they become emotionally isolated.
They enforce their values and beliefs upon you
Sometimes you came across people who continuously point out you on small things which are emotionally draining, upsetting and you often think that they didn’t like you.
But don’t worry it is not about you, this behavior actually defines them. If people get offended don’t take it personally, in reality, they want to project their values and beliefs upon others.
They need your compassion and love
When we encounter people, who are constantly making grudges and get offended by small things, we want to avoid them but maybe those people require love and empathy more than anything else.
Everyone deserves empathy and regard. If we give them the same compassion instead of avoiding them, then we will understand that it is not personal and they have their own work to do.
Sometimes they just need recognition, give them respect, and maintain a healthy boundary in a relationship with them.
Last edited:
So when you get offended by people here, that's your personality disorder talking?
I didn't write that. It was a mental health professional. Everyone is offended by something I suppose. Pretty much all of us probably have some level of a "personality disorder." Goes to degree. The article was targeted at the "easily offended."
IMO, being offended by someone that means you no offense is dumb and being offended by someone that means you offense is even dumber. Why give them that kind of power?
I know you didn't write it, Dr. Anna Jetton did.
Everybody gets offended, everybody has feelz, even though they don't like to admit it.
What "easily" offended is, is open to interpretation.
Some people get offended by being asked to get vaccinated by their employer.
Some people get offended because they are asked to be nice to transgenders.
I mean, Chapelle is offended by transgender rights.
Should he be?
I think certain elements in the trans community were offended by DC's jokes and then sought to inflict offense upon DC with a counter attack. He obviously feels he didn't deserve the attack and in turn countered the counter.
I don't think DC IS offended by Trans rights at all. He was offended by the allegation that he is anti trans rights. I don't believe he is. I think it was initially just low hanging fruit for a comedy routine that then turned into a "thing." Joke-attack-counterattack.
I don't think DC IS offended by Trans rights at all. He was offended by the allegation that he is anti trans rights. I don't believe he is. I think it was initially just low hanging fruit for a comedy routine that then turned into a "thing." Joke-attack-counterattack.
If any posters here on the erbb are trans, I’d love to hear from them and get their perspective
Maybe some have already chimed in on this thread
Who knows
I’d ask the same of any black posters
Maybe some have already chimed in on this thread
Who knows
I’d ask the same of any black posters
Okay so he was offended by the allegation.
That means he was still offended.
And then he lashed out.
Yes. That‘s pretty much exactly what I meant when I wrote, ”he was offended” and then characterized his response as a “counterattack.”
