I thought the shopping experience and selection sucked, and the primary things I needed were spring mix (or mixed greens or whatever the f--k salad base medley you call it) and some romaine lettuce. The romaine hearts were fkcng sh!t compared to Publix, be it "Greenwise" or chemmy, and they had literally no 'normal' sized tubs of spring mix. Or any spring mix. They did have like eleventy tubs of just spinach and just kale. Lots of the smaller tubs of other sh!t, they were tilted upright, so they all kind of collapsed on the end, bruising the greens, marinating in their own green/brown compressed plant diarrhea. They did have shitty little containers of baby romaine and of spinach x arugula, but WTF? Publix, Fresh Market, and Native Sun all manage.
I took a look at the meat and fish but figured I'd get my other sh!t first, then get some fish so it minimized sitting time. Then I went to the bakery looking for something to put an egg on in the morning. It was on the way to that, that I saw the fresh food section and literal airport-security-tier hassle of accessing it, down to the idiots who had 10 minutes to take their laptop out and their shoes off but just decided to stand there.
The bagel/english muffin etc selection in the bakery was incomparably **** poor and there was literally nothing else even close. Cupcakes and loaves. A couple shitty pastries with like raspberry and orange or some ratchet trash.
Cruised to the aisle with sh!t like that, the aisle sucked, and at the end of it, I saw a cashier waiting at an empty line. Code 10 Abort; initiate priority evac.
I googled Whole Foods sucks taking a morning sh!t and found I wasn't alone. Apparently, getting the in the way in the store (check), asking a million questions/taking forever at the 'hot bar' (looked that way at a glance) and causing gridlock in the parking lot to save walking a little (to an "organic" "natural" "healthy" store) are Whole Foods memes.
The ones I apparently didn't get was slow as f--k checkout lines and a bunch of people taking forever at meat and fish, but I didn't try meat and fish.
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Whole Foods is like the Bud Light commercial where the King orders Bud Lights for everyone, they all say Dilly Dilly, then the one guy wants a mead, specifically an autumnal mead, and is it malty...anyway the King gives up and has the Bud Knight rack the mother fr.
Whole Foods, everyone is holding up the fckng grocery shopping parade somehow, and they all belong in the rack.
Cancel that mead.