"RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.
ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.
EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.
BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...
EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.
BLAG More..O: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good people. How's the transition going?
EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to ***** tell me anything, or what, cause I--
BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--
EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.
BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger here.
EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important ***** business to take this ***** phone call?
BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.
EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being ***** busy. Now what did you call about?
BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is for the President-Elect.
EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second thoughts about the job.
BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?
EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.
BLAGO: She won't take my calls.
EMANUEL: Big ***** surprise.
BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?
EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.) You're a ***** crook. B.) You're a ***** asshole. C.) All of the above.
BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that ***** Fitzgerald would being twiddling his ***** thumbs if he had poop to go on?
EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we really don't give a poop.
BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?
EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm not gonna ***** kiss your ring over it.
BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're talking about. It's worth a fark of a lot more than appreciation.
EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a ***** list, you want to make your own list then make your own ***** list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can ***** stop talking right now Rod.
BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a ***** minute. Who are you to talk to me like that? I ***** made you.
EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're ***** joking.
BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me poop-face. You see this list I got, the names motherfucking Obama ***** wants for the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?
HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?
BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?
[Whirring, shredder noise]
HARRIS (muffled): I did.
EMANUEL: Do you have me on ***** speakerphone?
BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.
EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on ***** speakerphone? Who the fark do you think I am?
BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're poop, you hear me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any more.
EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.
BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will ***** fark you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna explain that to ***** Barack, every time he's gotta call me up for my ***** vote. He'd have to take my calls then, wouldn't he?
EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the ***** phone!
BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn't I?
EMANUEL: Shut the fark up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are ***** dead to me. You been ***** dead to Barack since '06, now you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten foot ***** pole.
BLAGO: Oh now you're the ***** Godfather? fark you.
EMANUEL: No fark you. fark you. fark you.
BLAGO: fark you!
EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The poop's gonna hit the fan, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going through your head. You won't know the hows or the ***** whys, but it's gonna have my ***** fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.
BLAGO: Hey fark--
EMANUEL: [Click.]
ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.
EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.
BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...
EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.
BLAG More..O: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good people. How's the transition going?
EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to ***** tell me anything, or what, cause I--
BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--
EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.
BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger here.
EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important ***** business to take this ***** phone call?
BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.
EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being ***** busy. Now what did you call about?
BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is for the President-Elect.
EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second thoughts about the job.
BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?
EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.
BLAGO: She won't take my calls.
EMANUEL: Big ***** surprise.
BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?
EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.) You're a ***** crook. B.) You're a ***** asshole. C.) All of the above.
BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that ***** Fitzgerald would being twiddling his ***** thumbs if he had poop to go on?
EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we really don't give a poop.
BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?
EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm not gonna ***** kiss your ring over it.
BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're talking about. It's worth a fark of a lot more than appreciation.
EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a ***** list, you want to make your own list then make your own ***** list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can ***** stop talking right now Rod.
BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a ***** minute. Who are you to talk to me like that? I ***** made you.
EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're ***** joking.
BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me poop-face. You see this list I got, the names motherfucking Obama ***** wants for the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?
HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?
BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?
[Whirring, shredder noise]
HARRIS (muffled): I did.
EMANUEL: Do you have me on ***** speakerphone?
BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.
EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on ***** speakerphone? Who the fark do you think I am?
BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're poop, you hear me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any more.
EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.
BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will ***** fark you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna explain that to ***** Barack, every time he's gotta call me up for my ***** vote. He'd have to take my calls then, wouldn't he?
EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the ***** phone!
BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn't I?
EMANUEL: Shut the fark up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are ***** dead to me. You been ***** dead to Barack since '06, now you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten foot ***** pole.
BLAGO: Oh now you're the ***** Godfather? fark you.
EMANUEL: No fark you. fark you. fark you.
BLAGO: fark you!
EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The poop's gonna hit the fan, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going through your head. You won't know the hows or the ***** whys, but it's gonna have my ***** fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.
BLAGO: Hey fark--
EMANUEL: [Click.]
