Empathy sucks

casa_mugrienta

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while compassion is good.

Sorry, Rachel.

 

casa_mugrienta

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Well you’re safe.

can you tell how you express compassion without having empathy?
They're pretty much completely different to start.

Showing compassion is about an action.

Empathy is about feelz.

They're related in only a minor way.

Compassion you may want to help but you're not often really feeling their misery like a highly empathetic person might.
 

Woke AF

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They're pretty much completely different to start.

Showing compassion is about an action.

Empathy is about feelz.

They're related in only a minor way.

Compassion you may want to help but you're not often really feeling their misery like a highly empathetic person might.
you didn't answer the question. without experiencing empathy acting compassionately is just a self-centered choice, having little to do with the other person.

Do you know narcissists and supposedly those on the autistic spectrum don't experience empathy other than as an intellectual construct?
 

Swallow Tail

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you didn't answer the question. without experiencing empathy acting compassionately is just a self-centered choice, having little to do with the other person.

Do you know narcissists and supposedly those on the autistic spectrum don't experience empathy other than as an intellectual construct?
Spectrum disorder can be all over the place as far as what aspects/talents (whatever they’re called) high and low. I know a number of folks on the spectrum that are VERY empathetic… some more socially awkward than others though
 

plasticbertrand

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They're pretty much completely different to start.

Showing compassion is about an action.

Empathy is about feelz.

They're related in only a minor way.

Compassion you may want to help but you're not often really feeling their misery like a highly empathetic person might.
You can't show compassion if you don't have the feelz.

You are a robot and don't possess either empathy or compassion.

Which is weird because you're a nurse.
 

plasticbertrand

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Spectrum disorder can be all over the place as far as what aspects/talents (whatever they’re called) high and low. I know a number of folks on the spectrum that are VERY empathetic… some more socially awkward than others though
But you will never find a narcissist who is either empathetic or compassionate.

Unless they have something to gain from simulating compassion.
 
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casa_mugrienta

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you didn't answer the question. without experiencing empathy acting compassionately is just a self-centered choice, having little to do with the other person.
Empathy is often just a fraction of what drives compassion in most situations.

Highly empathetic people do very poorly in my profession for instance.

They tend to be unable to be effective.
 

Woke AF

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Spectrum disorder can be all over the place as far as what aspects/talents (whatever they’re called) high and low. I know a number of folks on the spectrum that are VERY empathetic… some more socially awkward than others though
I don't disagree. I would say all the autistics I have worked with, from nonverbal to high functioning, are highly sensitive and are easily overwhelmed by their emotions and senses. I have never seen any of them offer an act of compassion. These have all been children so maybe that is a factor.
 

Woke AF

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Highly empathetic people do very poorly in my profession for instance.

They tend to be unable to be effective.
Yes, I would think burnout would be huge. As it is with teachers and especially child psychologists. If these professionals learned to manage their own emotions they could be far more effective than someone who has no empathy for their patients.
 

VaB

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"But researcher have found that if you are too in tune with other people's emotions too much of the time, it can lead to exhaustion, apathy, and even aggression and cruelty."

I didn't read the study and have no idea if its true but "exhaustion, apathy, and even aggression and cruelty." Sound like common problems in medicine.

Maybe the empathy isn't the problem.
 
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Swallow Tail

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I don't disagree. I would say all the autistics I have worked with, from nonverbal to high functioning, are highly sensitive and are easily overwhelmed by their emotions and senses. I have never seen any of them offer an act of compassion. These have all been children so maybe that is a factor.
Gotcha, do You work w autistic kids?

My perspective is - like you are saying - they are extraordinarily overwhelmed. from the outside it looks like their feelings and sensory input must feel like a fire hose full throttle, point blank at them, so they’re always in survival mode. That has to be so exhausting and taxing, so something like compassion gets out to the bottom of the list.

The very high functioning spectrum folks I know - some are very successful and live pretty “normal” lives even though they operate a lil differently. I’ve known kids that were thought to have had some type of “attention deficit disorder“ put on meds for that - only making things worse. Then getting a proper eval and found to be on the spectrum and then more or less thriving w some modifications at school, parents being supportive in crucial ways and the kids working “smart“ and fckn hard.
 

Random Guy

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while compassion is good.

Sorry, Rachel.

you seem angry, or at least irked, by so many day to day things

I really feel for you. It must be exhausting to always be negative. It makes my heart heavy to know you’re so angry
I hope you have a good day today and find a path to happiness
 
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casa_mugrienta

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you seem angry, or at least irked, by so many day to day things
I'm ultra cynical.

Angry? Hardly.

Have you taken a look at your teammates here? :roflmao:

The "no tolerance for intolerance" crowd?

I really feel for you. It must be exhausting to always be negative. It makes my heart heavy to know you’re so angry
I hope you have a good day today and find a path to happiness
In my experience it is empathy that makes people angry - they begin to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and see injustice everywhere.

That's exhausting.

I can't imagine living like that.
 
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Autoprax

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Empathy is a super power.

But the super hero must learn to harness it so it doesn't destroy him or the town.

When I was a young man I would have psychopath friends tell me some evil scheme they were about to hatch and I would say, "Oh, don't do that."

They would be like "Huh?"
 

Sharky

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"Hyper-empathy syndrome
Hyper-empathy syndrome occurs when you are too in tune with other people’s emotions and mirror them to the same intensity. In other words, you care too much. People with hyper-empathy may find it hard to regulate their emotions and may have a tendency to pick up on negative feelings.

The symptoms of hyper-empathy include:
  • You have strong emotional reactions when other people experience negative feelings. Sometimes, these reactions are
  • intense even if you’re only looking at a photo or a movie and may include physical symptoms (stomach ache, nausea).

  • You still feel an emotional response to another person’s pain a few days after it happened.

  • You feel overwhelmed after talking to people about their problems because it’s as if they’re happening to you.

  • You’re so focused on other people’s problems you neglect taking care of yourself.
  • You find it hard to say no to people because you feel sorry for them.
People with hyper-empathy are often labelled as overly sensitive, and, to a certain extent, being more in tune with people’s emotions can help you build meaningful connections. However, left unmanaged, hyper-empathy can be harmful to your mental health because it can make you pursue co-dependent relationships, have poor personal boundaries, and neglect your own needs.

Hyper-empathy can also be a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD), which is why it’s important to talk about it with a professional and find a healthy way of regulating your emotions."
 
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