Effects of Family Structure on Crime

Ifallalot

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I never said it was up to me or that I wanted gov't to force people to live a certain way - I just want gov't to stop actively and aggressively enabling the really bad choices on the no-strings-attached basis.

The unhappy marriage situation you constantly accuse me of is hilarious. How many couples have you even met who not only have the long history together but who also work together? I'm literally within arm's reach of my wife most of the day during the week - how would that even be possible over so many years if we disliked each other in any way?

As for children growing up in 2-parent households or with at least 2 active parents that's not nothing. All my sons are in LTRs with good women. Those women were all raised in 2-parent households, too. These guys are choosing their partners based on their own priorities and then putting in the effort to make it work. No accidents or coincidences involved.

My middle son has been with his SO (they're not married so I guess that's not traditional) for 16 years. Just that relationship right there has already gone on longer than your longest adult relationship. That indicates to me that he's obviously been more successful at adult relationships than you. He surfs better than you, too.

Their daughter is 14 and in her first year in HS; she just got invited to her first Homecoming. Nobody on either side of her extended family has gone through a divorce in her lifetime so she's never seen an example of single parenting up close. The chances of her approaching her serious relationships with the expectation they'll be contentious and end up with her being the single parent are about as low as it gets.

She's genuinely "privileged" alright, and that advantage has zero to do with inherited wealth or unearned benefits being passed down from 150 years ago. She might fck up because that's always possible, but if she does it will be by her own hand and not because she didn't know any better. I fully expect her to assume personal responsibility for every choice she makes. I expect that of everybody.
I think you should run away from any possible problem and just surf and have fun. It's much more "emotionally healthy"

Fuck your family, it's all about number 1!
 

GDaddy

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I could never be happy if it came at the expense of the people I love. Or at the expense of anyone I respect. I want everyone's kid to thrive and be happy and successful to the extent they're able to do so on without stepping on other people to do it.
 
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FecalFace

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I think you should run away from any possible problem and just surf and have fun. It's much more "emotionally healthy"

fook your family, it's all about number 1!
No he should not surf, that's irresponsible.

He should remain in a misserable relationship because the kids are always stoked when they grow up with miserable parents who hate each other.

Or like you, stay in the miserable marriage because you don't want to spend money on divorce and then pretend that you stayed married because of the children so you can join the Proud Bois and brag about "voluntary" sex abstinence and no wanking.

Happy parents raise happy children.

Miserable parents raise miserable little fvcks.

Good parenting bro! And you didn't let that bitch have any of your hard earned money.
 

FecalFace

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I could never be happy if it came at the expense of the people I love. Or at the expense of anyone I respect. I want everyone's kid to thrive and be happy and successful to the extent they're able to do so on without stepping on other people to do it.
You presume that my son and my ex are unhappy or somehow damaged.

That's pretty fvcking stupid.

Why did you marry a religious nut and then divorced her?

Why didn't you stay together to preserve the sanctity of marriage?
 
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GDaddy

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Well see, I did marry a devout religious type and I did come to regret that decision as the worst mistake of my life. Not because she's a bad person in any way, but because the true believers cannot live in harmony unless everyone else around them is into it to the same extent. That would have been a good thing for me to understand about myself when I made that choice but as it turns out I had to learn it the hard way.

Really, that experience just reinforced the point for me that not all traditions are compatible or interchangeable. Neither of us became more like the other in that regard just because we lived together. However, we both refrained from repeating that mistake by eventually choosing partners whose values did mesh better with our own. My ex went on to marry a good guy who shared more of her interests. They've been together as long as we have, so my kids have seen both relationships work over the long term.

So even though I did have a failed marriage, I still put my kids first and I still raised them in person, not by mail. And my wife's 2 kids who are in the same age range and who also needed to see the stable adult relationship in action. As I said, it was important to me to be with someone for whom family was a priority. So when the nice Portagee woman came along who was raised Catholic but who wasn't particularly religious that worked out pretty well for me.

You can call LTRs and parenting boring and miserable all you like, but to me that just demonstrates how low a priority it has been in your life. IMO, we all tend to work at the things we value.
 

FecalFace

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Again, you presuming that my family doesn't mean anything to me which is idiotic.

You've made a mistake marrying somebody you didn't like and now you want to punish and lecture those who make the same mistake?

And blame it on women because they "control access".

Spare me your virtue signaling.

If you were a real man and really care about traditional family, you would have stayed with a religious nut and be miserable for the rest of your life instead of being selfish and doing what makes you happy.
 

GDaddy

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The point of the thread was about the hazards of trying to raise a kid solo. My kids were never raised that way. I put my time in, and then some.

Nobody is chipping on you for splitting with your ex. It was your choice to not raise your own kid because you so valued your transplant lifestyle here that's regrettable.
 

FecalFace

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The point of the thread was about the hazards of trying to raise a kid solo. My kids were never raised that way. I put my time in, and then some.

Nobody is chipping on you for splitting with your ex. It was your choice to not raise your own kid because you so valued your transplant lifestyle here that's regrettable.
Except I raised my kid just fine.

He's not going to be a criminal.

Nor will he be a xenophobe, racist or mysygonist.

Thanks for your concern.
 

Autoprax

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The traumatizing factor is inconsistent caregiving by the parent(s).

I suspect you only need one consistent caregiver to get to adulthood and be able to function.

Two parents probably increases your odds of not getting one that is a fuck up.

But one parent can be consistent.

Two can be fvck ups.

Most kids can have fvcked up parents and still get through childhood.

The value of good genetics cannot be over stated.
 

FecalFace

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The traumatizing factor is inconsistent caregiving by the parent(s).

I suspect you only need one consistent caregiver to get to adulthood and be able to function.

Two parents probably increases your odds of not getting one that is a fook up.

But one parent can be consistent.

Two can be fvck ups.

Most kids can have fvcked up parents and still get through childhood.

The value of good genetics cannot be over stated.
I know way more fvck ups from traditional families.

A lot of people who hate their asshole fathers.

Hitler and Stalin both came from traditional families.

Alcoholic abusive father is better than a single mother I guess.

1100010100110001
 

GDaddy

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FecalFace

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Just the fact that you think single parenting is just as viable for the masses as the nukular and extended family models that have prevailed throughout human history says a lot.

Why do you hate the science so badly?
Single parenting is more viable than shitty "traditional family" parenting which is way more prevalent.

There are plenty of fvck ups and criminals that came from traditional homes.
You still can't show evidence that "leftist policies" created single parents who produce criminals.

Why do you hate science?

Did mommy and daddy teach you to hate women, immigrants and black people?
 

Autoprax

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Ideally you want both parents around.

It helps to have help.

I would guess that a very small percentage of single parents would disagree with this.

But things don't always go how we want.

This is very strammanish to me.

Are the pro two parent family guy also pro fetus killers?

#killmoreunwantedbabies
 
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FecalFace

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Ideally you want both parents around.

It helps to have help.

I would guess that a very small percentage of single parents would disagree with this.

But things don't always go how wany.
GDiddy dumped his first wife without remorse.

So selfish, just thinking about his own happiness.
 

GDaddy

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Single parenting is more viable than shitty "traditional family" parenting which is way more prevalent.

There are plenty of fvck ups and criminals that came from traditional homes.
You still can't show evidence that "leftist policies" created single parents who produce criminals.

Why do you hate science?

Did mommy and daddy teach you to hate women, immigrants and black people?
You really do hate your dad, don't you? :ROFLMAO: I wonder if that's his fault or your fault? No wonder you felt like your active participation in your kid's life was optional.