Confederate Statues to be Replaced

Kento

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Jan 11, 2002
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This week, as statues are torn down and defaced all across the country, President Trump announced plans to replace all torn down statues with statues of himself. It’s a move seemingly designed to rile up detractors and rally supporters, and it’s certainly having that effect, with many people around the country organizing to stop the new statues before they can even be built.

Last night, The President defended the decision in a Rose Garden press briefing, “Its sad, so sad about those statues. You hate to see it, but I’ve been saying for a long time we need better statues. Those statues were ok, but we need better, and to commemorate these historic times we’re living in, and The President, which is me, who many say is extremely historic, even my critics, historic, and historic gets a statue, many statues, and believe me, they will not be torn down.” He did not take questions.

Initial plans released by the While House show the statues slated to be 50 feet tall, weigh over 30 tons and be fastened to the ground by a twenty-five foot “anchor” that will go deep into the earth. Dozens of them are already in production, and sources tell us that Trump is considering invoking the defense production act to commandeer more factories into producing these enormous statues.
 
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