colonoscopy blues

bonzer5fin

Duke status
May 9, 2006
18,171
1,466
113
your mom
here i sit
broken hearted
tried to move
and yes, i sharted
if i don't die, really quick
i'll wake up with a sh!t stained dick

yep, getting the dr go pro lookaround at 6am. so stcked. didn't read the directions correctly. mixed 64 oz's of water with the bottle of miralax, and started drinking. nasty ass sh!t, i tell ya. saw the gatorade packets a little later. oops! tastes better, but not much. i think i'll just sit on the toilet until my ride gets here at 5:30. gonna be a long night. any tips from you assholes?
 

keenfish

Duke status
May 12, 2002
17,574
3,784
113
Trona
www.pbase.com
Tell the anesthesia girl to give you a double dose. You don't want to wake up during.

I woke up with a loud groan... no.... more like a loud wail when the doc was apparently making a hair pin turn up there and it woke me straight up.
I looked at the doc dead in the eye and said "I thought you said I'd be out for this".
He looked over at the anesthesia girl and gave her a nod. I blacked right back out.
Then the recovery gas room (drapes next to other gassers recovering).......
Good luck buddy! The prep is the worst part.
 

SurfFuerteventura

Phil Edwards status
Sep 20, 2014
6,777
2,914
113
hulling, mostly...
Seems you've come to the right place. This is where I always go when I get the squirts. Also, judging by previous comments, sounds like pro tip advice. Me? I got nothing, never had one done, but I am ROFLMAO @U DUMM DUMMS. Holy sh!t, :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::monkey::drowning::poop::toilet::bowdown:

And best of luck with the procedure. Definitely advise the anesthesiologist of previous drug use, unless you want to wake up like @keenfish :eek::oops:o_O:foreheadslap::crazy2:
 
Nov 6, 2021
107
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Well, your're illuminating your age with this post you ol' coont! I'll be there shortly. Good luck son, I hope it turns out nice and clean and youve been eatin' yo collard greens! Tramadol is a good relaxant, thats what a friend said anyhow!
 

Bayview

Gerry Lopez status
Dec 21, 2009
1,297
743
113
NJ
I’m proud of you.

leadinf thr erbb by example.

lost too many too early bc they were stubborn.

MSI HI. as a drug developer, there are ways to keep you covered In da tooooob

take the probe.
 

Bayview

Gerry Lopez status
Dec 21, 2009
1,297
743
113
NJ
Well, your're illuminating your age with this post you ol' coont! I'll be there shortly. Good luck son, I hope it turns out nice and clean and youve been eatin' yo collard greens! Tramadol is a good relaxant, thats what a friend said anyhow!
Age doesn’t discreminate
 

_____

Phil Edwards status
Sep 17, 2012
6,785
2,916
113
I just scheduled my first one in August. I'm gonna get a hotel room with a jacuzzi style bathtub the night before and after and bring a pack of wet wipes :toilet:
 
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bonzer5fin

Duke status
May 9, 2006
18,171
1,466
113
your mom
i've gone through 3 100 packs of dude wipes and a few rolls of toilet paper. this oxnard plumbing is built sturdy! i'll be ko'd with propophol, but i will be mentioning a high tolerance.
 

elcalvo

Michael Peterson status
Mar 16, 2004
3,222
309
83
NE
Can't count how many I've had due to strong family history of polyps. I used to eat a lot the day before the cleanout started since I'd be fasting, but I've learned that only prolongs the cleanout.
Now, I eat very little the day before the cleanout begins. Makes the cleanout faster and much less unpleasant.
We have a bidet that minimizes the irritation that always results from prolonged pooping. Also, have a tube of preparation H to calm down the discomfort that inevitably occurs.
Once they put in the IV and start the meds, the colonoscopy itself is literally over before you know it.
If you need one, don't put it off. It's nothing compared to 3rd world surf trips when I've spent hours undergoing a total cleanout, not knowing if I should sit or kneel down to deal with what's coming out. :barf::toilet::toilet:
 
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potato-nator

Phil Edwards status
Nov 10, 2015
6,066
1,275
113
the prep is worse than the procedure....

when i came too i first focused on the monstrous rack of the technician..which helped. :monkey: :monkey:
 
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Clayster

Miki Dora status
Oct 26, 2005
5,323
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113
Read the article by Dave Barry about his first colonoscopy. It is hilarious. If you haven't sh!t your pants already, you will when you read that.
 

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
59,217
16,111
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Vagina Point
I was cracking up and doing a comedy routine.

The nurse told me to stop talking.

I'm like "You sound like my wife! That is what she tells me!" :roflmao:
 
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