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Can We Talk About Zipperless Wetsuits?
- Thread starter Firebird
- Start date
I'm a 42 year old desk jockey. I have Xcel chest zip and Rip Curl Zipperless.
These two have the opening on the left side. When putting them on, I put the right arm through first, then the left.
To remove, you undo the cinch strap on the left and the chest zip if applicable.
Then, you grab bits of wetsuit around the tummy and lower back and buttocks and crotch or whatever, and pull down. You want to preload (pre-tension?) the suit so when you flip the right side (closed side) over your shoulder, it has more of a tendency to flop down over your deltoid muscle. If you have smaller/less-defined delts than me, off yourself. Otherwise if you don't pre-tension it so it pulls down, it will be prone to re-swallowing your upper torso like you're a baby bird going down the snake's gullet.
Once you have the top/collar contraption folded down below your right delt, the hard part is over and the upstream salmon migration out of the wetsuit begins. Keep pulling down on the torso to get the snakejaw lower and eventually you will be in a good place to free your arms.
Do NOT call Red or Black Lee a fucking kook when the snakejaw is alongside your biceps and your arms aren't out, otherwise you will cop strikes to the grill and even if you try to get some face-saving vengeance stomps on an 8'6" Couch Potato, by dint of having your arms snakejaw-locked to your side, you can't put your arms out to maintain balance and prevent falling, or protect your dome from the Potty lot concrete when center mass destabilization eventually occurs. You will probably wind up in a lifestyle shot in a Brad Jacobson video with some broad's yorkie-poo pissing on your half-conscious dome.