best put down/comebacks...

bonzer5fin

Duke status
May 9, 2006
17,841
609
113
your mom
let's hear em. i'll start.


teenage girl, gaming against a 30 something lives in moms basement dude...

gamer dude: "you're weak and shouldn't be allowed to game on here."

teenage girl: "shut up. i'm gonna fuuuck your dad and give him a child he'll actually love."

top that
 

stringcheese

Michael Peterson status
Jun 21, 2017
2,663
2,021
113
Person in a car going the wrong way down one way street, stranger from on the sidewalk yells "I thought we were supposed to be a team!?" In a pleading, friendly, yet disappointed tone.
I still laugh out loud remembering that.
 

ghost_of_lewis_samuels

Billy Hamilton status
Oct 27, 2019
1,711
1,130
113
As a surfer on the SB Channel for nearly 40 years now I've done my share of gazing at oil rigs, islands and coastlines N and S. I used to think this kind of view indicated the earth's surface curvature...
 

silentbutdeadly

Duke status
Sep 26, 2005
27,759
9,745
113
Tower 13
Grom burned my friend at Scripps few years ago. My friend yelled at him and said “I’ve been surfing here for 20 years”. Kid immediately said “and you still suck!” as he paddled away.

classic comeback that we still laugh about.
tha'ts fvcking awesome. i mean not for your buddy but you know what I mean
 
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Reactions: PPK96754

grapedrink

Duke status
May 21, 2011
17,025
6,987
113
A Beach
I've found that "stop projecting" is pretty much a checkmate for most insults :beer:Especially as it pertains to ghey insults (not that there's anything wrong with that)
 

john4surf

Rabbitt Bartholomew status
May 28, 2005
8,039
1,646
113
CBS, CA
Back in the 80s a buddy was the agent in charge of Nixon’s Western White House detail. We jogged together and were pretty good friends. We did the Americas Finest City or whatever it was called) but I finished pretty far ahead of him. Went near the finish line where his wife, kids, my family, etc., were waiting for him to finish the run. As he neared the end of the run, everyone was cheering for the runners. The familky was amped and calling his name and cheering. He straightened up… In my rather booming voice i hollered in my best military command voice, “hey Gary…” he got straight up, chest out…. “You look like sh!t!” His chest deflated, head bowed and he ended his run, head down. One of my finest slams, bar none… . We’re still pals
 

Autoprax

Duke status
Jan 24, 2011
52,942
11,765
113
60
Vagina Point
I used to have to break card board boxes after the night crew in the morning when I was 16 working as a boxboy. Back then everyone felt an obligation to be mean to the box boys.

The assistant manager, who was a dick, says,"You're going to have hustle if you want to be part of the team."

With a straight face, I say, "What do I have to do to not be part of the team?"

I don't know why he hated me. :shrug:
 

Dekerwild

OTF status
Jul 28, 2017
234
184
43
My ex just went into 30day no contact rehab center and the ex in laws are raging at me because I’m now full custody of my children and they think I’m ripping the kids away from them. Very bitter and nasty people.

her: I’m glad your hurting from your mom passing away years ago and now your dad has failing health

me: your first miscarriage self aborted itself because it knew it had to grow up with you

deafening silence

iam going to hell