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Let's get a few things straight.

Tuffy

Tuffy

Jul 18, 2019
39
70
18
Try getting nailed to a cross for hours on end after getting whipped, tortured, poo thrown while wearing a spiked hat. I faked it, bluffed and played dead. I knew they'd put me in a tomb so I chilled in there and licked my wounds while the dust settled and healed then GTFO. Why are they still making conspiracy theories about me dying and coming back to life. It's pretty lame. Miracles? LOLOLOL not much different than David Blane. Happy Easter? LMAO!!!
 
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StuAzole

Duke status
Jan 22, 2016
28,636
9,880
113
If you know you are the son of god and that you’re going back to heaven in a few days, is it really that big a sacrifice to die?
 
LarryTate

LarryTate

Nep status
May 7, 2012
668
939
93
Tuffy said:
Try getting nailed to a cross for hours on end after getting whipped, tortured, poo thrown while wearing a spiked hat. I faked it, bluffed and played dead. I knew they'd put me in a tomb so I chilled in there and licked my wounds while the dust settled and healed then GTFO. Why are they still making conspiracy theories about me dying and coming back to life. It's pretty lame. Miracles? LOLOLOL not much different than David Blane. Happy Easter? LMAO!!!
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Regardless of beliefs on this topic, historically people who were crucified were typically left on the cross to rot and act as food for scavenging animals to complete the full punishment for their crimes. They rarely were buried; it was a full humiliation tactic to keep people in line. Numerous surviving records indicate this common practice. Depending on circumstance of how the mutilation went, some WERE lucky enough (depending on your definition of luck) to be taken down during mutilation and tossed in common graves where they decomposed with other rotting bodies.

To my understanding, many biblical criticism scholars don't believe Jesus was given a proper burial based on historical context. There is no legitimate reason to believe he was. All we have are various gospels (canonized and non canonized) written decades after the fact where by which get more embellished in story the further out they were written.

There are some historical writings that provide rare examples of people being taken down from crucifixion and given to family for a decent burial. But this was typically done for certain families with connections and was RARE. However Jesus's family had none of these connections, they did not know ruling authorities to ask for the body, nor did they have means to bury them in Jerusalem, and in any of the earliest accounts, none of the family was at the actual event. It's highly unlikely this took place. Romans were brutal, did not care or respect Jewish law or sensitivities for burials when it came to someone who was deemed a criminal.

The individual (Josepth of Arimathea) who apparently ask for the body for burial was ironically one of the pharisees who called for Jesus's death, but then had an apparent change of heart, thus risking his own life even asking the Romans for the body. Anything is possible I guess but this story gets more embellished as time moves on in the gospels.

In short, the likelihood of you making it to a tomb to heal with a short amount of time is highly unlikely. If you didn't die you eventually would have been ended by wild animals and birds and probably raped by some nomadic random necrophiliac pervert in the middle of night while on the edge of death.
 
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StuAzole

Duke status
Jan 22, 2016
28,636
9,880
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Tuffy said:
Try getting nailed to a cross for hours on end after getting whipped, tortured, poo thrown while wearing a spiked hat. I faked it, bluffed and played dead. I knew they'd put me in a tomb so I chilled in there and licked my wounds while the dust settled and healed then GTFO. Why are they still making conspiracy theories about me dying and coming back to life. It's pretty lame. Miracles? LOLOLOL not much different than David Blane. Happy Easter? LMAO!!!
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I mean, lots of people were nailed to the cross back then. Jesus was just one of the boys!
 
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