Christian Nightmares

Duffy LaCoronilla

Duke status
Apr 27, 2016
38,642
27,984
113
Can’t say I do, but I’m intrigued
Story goes like this…

I spent a summer in upper Michigan working as a valet at a restaurant called the Arboretum, parking cars for tips. One of the regulars, Hershel, who frequented the bar mostly had a very large apple orchard. He was a bit of an apple tycoon and besides drinking, drunk driving and perving out on the waitresses at the Arboretum his hobby was grafting apple trees with all kinds of different things to make different flavored apples.

Anyway, one night he stumbled out of the restaurant more drunk than usual and I told him he shouldn’t be driving. He protested (as usual) but instead of handing over his keys (as usual) I offered to drive him home. My fellow valet, a guy named Henry Limbacher who was big time anti-semite, was to follow us and give me a ride back.

We got in the car and in between us (Cadillac with bench seats) was a bag of apples. Hershel reached in, grabbed an apple and proudly proclaimed it to be the most special apple ever created.

I said, “oh really? What‘s so special about it?”

He says, “after more than two decades of trial and error I have finally perfected this very very special apple…”

”Yeah, yeah, why is it special?”

”This apple” he said, “tastes just like PUSSSY!”

”What?!” I wasn’t sure I heard him right.

”That’s right, I have a tree that produces apple that taste like pussy, vagina, cooter, sweet and delicious bag of sugar!”

I said, “I like the taste of pussy, can I eat this one?”

He says, “you go right ahead…” and hands me the apple.

It looked like a regular gala apple and oddly enough it smelled like a regular apple.

Anyway, I took a bite. I immediately spit it out and yelled, “this apple tastes like sh!t!”

Hershel says, “Oh, when that happens you just have to turn it a little.”





The details of your pussy apple story are up to you but the story is always the same in the end.
 

Chocki

Phil Edwards status
Feb 18, 2007
6,356
6,743
113
Planet Earth
I like to picture Jesus lifting weights, doing steroids and breaking cinder blocks with karate. Because it says while I may be your Lord and Savior I’m also here to kick ass.

 

$kully

Duke status
Feb 27, 2009
60,007
16,716
113
I like to picture Jesus lifting weights, doing steroids and breaking cinder blocks with karate. Because it says while I may be your Lord and Savior I’m also here to kick ass.

Are you up to date on Righteous Gemstones?
 
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