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Mental Health thread
- Thread starter Subway
- Start date
The river swimming is good. Cool water, low 50's right now, and the fact that I have to fight the current, just like I'm fighting to stay sane and positive. OR starts school soon, and it is going to be nerve-wracking and a 
show. Teaching 6 year olds remotely, might as well teach dogs Chinese or prove the Earth is flat.
show. Teaching 6 year olds remotely, might as well teach dogs Chinese or prove the Earth is flat.So true, I've got a hell low tolerance for THC but can drink like a fish and consume all kinds of uppers, downers and psychedelics.
Chemical days are behind me now, thank Allah.
I can't do weed no more.
I quit when I went back to school and never could go back.
Its amazing how much the body chemistry changes over time. When I was young, weed was THE BEST morning, noon, and night! Alcohol was meh. And I couldn't for the life of me understand what anybody saw in opiates - they did absolutely nothing for me.
My oh my how things change. My preferences have changed entirely. Not that those preferences matter since I'm completely sober these days. Sad, really.
mental health been seriously tested recently. got my 86 yr old mother moved in with us just over a month ago. COVID already had us freaking, now this "cherry on the Sunday". on the one hand, relieved she's here, safe, out of Fla. on the other, so nervous about health care here for a person of that age. harvest in full swing, don't even have time to surf lately. started getting cramping in my feet and calves, some anxiety, etc. gone from having ALL of my time free to not knowing what a free second looks like.
time to suck it up though, she did for me when I was unable, now it's my turn.
time to suck it up though, she did for me when I was unable, now it's my turn.
2020 will not relent. This sh!t is beyond crazy. But we're going to ride this b!tch out and make it to the other side. 
This year has been ruthless. Had a good friend pass in a tragic accident earlier this year , my friends son was tragically killed last month , another friend just got diagnosed with ALS at 40. my long time on off again girl and me are done for good. surf hasn’t been good and it’s more crowded than ever.
I can still surf a short board and skate and hang with my kids. I have food and a roof over my head . I just need to take the time to be grateful, it’s hard because I am an asshole at heart.
I can still surf a short board and skate and hang with my kids. I have food and a roof over my head . I just need to take the time to be grateful, it’s hard because I am an asshole at heart.
I unfortunately have practically the exact parallel train of incidents and it is REALLY getting dark here now, as if it wasn't sad enough already. My wife just found out this morning her Best friend's nephew was found dead on the side of some random road in Wyoming.16 years old. Had stolen some cash and the family car the night before from their home in CO, and the next day- dead in Wyoming. Supposedly the kid didn't even have a whiff of drug abuse in his tragically brief life, but of course that's what we ultimately think will be the culprit. I can't even imagine. My wife is really shaken up. And this SAME BFF is ALSO dealing with an active and destructive alcoholic husband, she just gave birth to twins, and is now serving him papers (he had managed to get sober for a while, but didn't or couldn't hold up any more.) I'm REALLY concerned that the next news will be about him. He's a loving father, and was becoming a good husband while sober, but now he's a fragile drunken mess. She is absolutely right for giving him the boot (he's had multiple chances) but i've seen this movie too many times- it usually doesn't end well for the drunk. and the wreckage his self destruction will leave behind as she raises her teenage girls and newboard twins by herself. Heartbreaking. And my wife wants to go to her, to be there, hell even help raise the twins, but even that isn't feasible right now what with covid and every other 2020 thing. dark days. sad days. ironically, i actually met the now deceased nephew at the BFF's wedding to the drunk 4 years ago. Just a happy go lucky 12 year old at the time. quiet, but well spoken, didn't seem any more awkward or insecure than any other 12 year old would be, bored at a wedding with a bunch of grown ups.
But yeah, my wife and i keep telling ourselves to count our blessings. I still have my job (which at this point is enough to pay my mortgage and bills , and health insurance for us, that's it) and wife's yoga instruction has been doing really well all summer. We have a home, two vehicles, and the beach is just a few hundred yards away. gratitude, but it's getting tougher every day, and loved ones and family of loved ones are dropping like flies from all kinds of sh!t.
But yeah, my wife and i keep telling ourselves to count our blessings. I still have my job (which at this point is enough to pay my mortgage and bills , and health insurance for us, that's it) and wife's yoga instruction has been doing really well all summer. We have a home, two vehicles, and the beach is just a few hundred yards away. gratitude, but it's getting tougher every day, and loved ones and family of loved ones are dropping like flies from all kinds of sh!t.
I have a hard time with this
I'm an asshole moralizing idealist...so it's basically the triumvirate of loathing everyone and everything I see.
none of this makes any sense to me
Fuck, if we start listing deaths this year... I'll just go jump off the fucking rooftop now. Please people, STOP DYING!!!!
I like how you used triumvirate, it was a great accessory program Wendler's 5 3 1. Oh, it's gonna get better, it has to ?
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
time to level up
time to level up
Just had lunch with a friend from work. We actually ate indoors, at Ben's Kosher Deli. Jewish comfort food FTW. brought home a couple quarts of Matzoh ball soup, chopped liver, and their corned beef for dinner. Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
From last week to this one I feel like a new person.
I did a three day fast last week of water only from Friday to Sunday.
Before starting the fast, the day after my birthday August 10th, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. My relationship with alcohol was not unhealthy per say, but it was habitual. Meaning I had a beer EVERY day after work and around a 6 pack on the weekends.
This small little exercise in discipline led me to do the water fast. I worked on my farm and house construction really hard while drinking only water. I intended to go longer, but I was so beat from working hard in the hot sun with only water as my fuel, I decided I had purged enough.
With this fast it gave me the opportunity to stop drinking coffee. Just like beer, I enjoyed the taste and the little buzz it gives you. But the headaches that come if you don't drink it, along with it being this habitual thing, I felt like I needed to stop.
So while I was eliminating all these habitual unhealthy things I said, well why not stop reading the news and going on social media. Wow! This was a game changer!
Never would I have thought not paying attention to national news and social media would be so good for my mental psyche. I haven't had a TV in over two decades but I was guilty of going online and checking the news and then scrolling through Instagram as a way to fill downtime. I still find myself opeing my phone only to realize, ain't nothing on there for me anymore except checking the weather.
So my new life includes no alcohol, no coffee, no news, no social media (except for the erbb). I still love my herbal produce though and since I am a good organic and regenerative farmer, I feel good about this one.
I'm reading "An Acension Handbook" by Tony Stubbs and its very compelling.
I have to say, the combination of all these lifestyle changes has allowed a lot of distractions to be eliminated in my life. The result is The Spirit has spoken to me as if to say, "I've been here all along but now that you're paying attention, this is what you have been missing." My son and I took a dip in the ocean the other day and a huge eagle ray busted out of the water. I saw a beautiful night crowned heron this morning. Amazing butterflies. Horses and deer giving me the nod. Feeling the vibrational energy of the trees and plants around me. Realizing the Spirit is in everything and appreciating that. Releasing negative energy immediately, its not mine to keep so I give it back to the universe.
Its been so so good. If I can stay in this headspace for the rest of my life, I will continue to be a content man and a good husband and father.
I did a three day fast last week of water only from Friday to Sunday.
Before starting the fast, the day after my birthday August 10th, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. My relationship with alcohol was not unhealthy per say, but it was habitual. Meaning I had a beer EVERY day after work and around a 6 pack on the weekends.
This small little exercise in discipline led me to do the water fast. I worked on my farm and house construction really hard while drinking only water. I intended to go longer, but I was so beat from working hard in the hot sun with only water as my fuel, I decided I had purged enough.
With this fast it gave me the opportunity to stop drinking coffee. Just like beer, I enjoyed the taste and the little buzz it gives you. But the headaches that come if you don't drink it, along with it being this habitual thing, I felt like I needed to stop.
So while I was eliminating all these habitual unhealthy things I said, well why not stop reading the news and going on social media. Wow! This was a game changer!
Never would I have thought not paying attention to national news and social media would be so good for my mental psyche. I haven't had a TV in over two decades but I was guilty of going online and checking the news and then scrolling through Instagram as a way to fill downtime. I still find myself opeing my phone only to realize, ain't nothing on there for me anymore except checking the weather.
So my new life includes no alcohol, no coffee, no news, no social media (except for the erbb). I still love my herbal produce though and since I am a good organic and regenerative farmer, I feel good about this one.
I'm reading "An Acension Handbook" by Tony Stubbs and its very compelling.
I have to say, the combination of all these lifestyle changes has allowed a lot of distractions to be eliminated in my life. The result is The Spirit has spoken to me as if to say, "I've been here all along but now that you're paying attention, this is what you have been missing." My son and I took a dip in the ocean the other day and a huge eagle ray busted out of the water. I saw a beautiful night crowned heron this morning. Amazing butterflies. Horses and deer giving me the nod. Feeling the vibrational energy of the trees and plants around me. Realizing the Spirit is in everything and appreciating that. Releasing negative energy immediately, its not mine to keep so I give it back to the universe.
Its been so so good. If I can stay in this headspace for the rest of my life, I will continue to be a content man and a good husband and father.
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That was a good read TangTonic, thank you.
I reached 120 days sober. During that time, finally felt at peace & happy. Exercising, reading a lot, appreciating every time in the water, strict schedule of sleeping and waking up early, limited time on phone - all made me feel like on a cloud. Also finances making a comeback after Big B. Saving money, opened up a secured credit card with my bank to improve credit score. Stoked score up to 657 now. Reckless spending no mas. Unfortunately let a rough week lead me to a minor relapse.Started a new count. Looking forward to staying on routine then surpassing last attempt. Improving mental health ongoing process.
'For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us'
I reached 120 days sober. During that time, finally felt at peace & happy. Exercising, reading a lot, appreciating every time in the water, strict schedule of sleeping and waking up early, limited time on phone - all made me feel like on a cloud. Also finances making a comeback after Big B. Saving money, opened up a secured credit card with my bank to improve credit score. Stoked score up to 657 now. Reckless spending no mas. Unfortunately let a rough week lead me to a minor relapse.Started a new count. Looking forward to staying on routine then surpassing last attempt. Improving mental health ongoing process.
'For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us'
best thing i've read in ages, thanks for sharing OB! helped me out big time just now. And please i beg you do NOT beat yourself up about a slip. I've seen self-flagellation do more damage than the slip itself does. You're right here, right now, and you're awesome.
Tang your post was kickass too
Tang your post was kickass too
Super congrats!!!
(and Tang..quitting coffee and beer at the same time? That's a heck of a cold turkey double whack to the brain stem. Good on ya! I stopped coffee a while back (after tapering down for a week to minimize the headaches) and now a couple of weeks later, think I am sleeping a bit better.)
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