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It’s a good thing for these cadets
- Thread starter $kully
- Start date
I don't think that's ad hominem?
The question goes to experience.
Unless every single job interview everyone has sat through is an ad hominem attack?
Experience is valuable. Critiquing something you have never done is always going to be problematic for obvious reasons.
But you are correct. It's messy. And what works for one kid doesn't work for another. And a lot of people who think they are marvelous parents simply got lucky. IMHO, kids are about 80 to 90% what they are going to be when they clear the womb. So you have about 10 to 20 percent to work with. Again, IMHO.
If only they had had "advanced parenting" classes when my kids were little. lol.
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Winner^
Nothing can replace or simulate going through an actual experience. But seeing and dealing with the parenting experience from being disconnected personally/emotionally is also uniquely valuable. Less personal baggage is hopefully involved in the relationship.
I would say most parental fuckups are the result of family and personal baggage influencing and being dumped on kids, not so much 'bad' parenting styles. *
*sans the anti vaxers
Saying it's a WP sign belies its origin and intent. That's a lie. Sure, the WP assholes who have now jumped on the bandwagon in the attempt to depict their cult as having far more support and acceptance than it does are using the sign now, but that's still not the intent of most people who are flashing it.
Does anyone really think those cadets as white nationalists, want ethnic cleansing or hate blacks. Obviously not. They clearly do it because it's transgressive, rebellious, and they want to trigger the left. Typical kid stuff - literally. Individuation, however short-sighted and unwise the means they are using to express it.
Tell your kids that, and tell them that assholes like FF will engage in the wound collection behavior and stalk them for the rest of their days on social media, and that it's dumb to hand that kind of power to assholes so that's the reason they don't want to do it. Be smart. Find more effective and less risky ways to troll the assholes if that's what they want to do.
If it really is your kid's well being that matters most to you and the problem is impulse control - not just with this one example but with all interaction on social media - then the answer is telling them to be smart and think 2 steps ahead of their opposition. Because regardless of which side of the culture war they find themselves on there will always be assholes on the other side playing the chick game.
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All trump supporters are white supremacists, regardless of their ethnicity or skin color
That’s not what I was referring to and you know it. Do you have children?
Every time this same old circular argument comes up I think of someone that’s never surfed describing their idea of getting barreled/getting pounded at macking Pasquales.
What VM said is correct. These guys cooked their career before it got started.
First, you need to understand the difference between opinion and fact.
Everything you stated above is opinion.
Not everyone experiences social media as a war of opinions. The original intent was an exchange of ideas.
There's nothing wrong with having an opinion on parenting prior to actually doing it. Everyone has to start somewhere.
With that said, the experience of parenting will teach you that the parent constantly has to adapt their approach as the kid moves through the various stages of development. You can't reason and engage in delayed gratification with a toddler; you can't rely on "because I said so" as an explanation with a pre-teen even though that may have worked perfectly fine until then. You can't tell a teenager what to think in any case. And as a parent you never actually enjoy complete control over a kid's conduct at any stage of their life - not even as an infant. Etc, etc.
Then there's the individual. If you have siblings, did you all turn out to share the same results? Probably not. So what's the variable, because it wasn't the parenting. It was the kid, right? That just demonstrates that parents cannot control the outcome. They can only control the input.
Raising kids effectively is literally a moving target.
Fun fact: every one of my kids has told me of despising something I had previously told them when they were growing up but then finding themselves saying and explaining the same thing to their own kids. So if you haven't gotten to that stage of your life yet I invite you to consider the possibility that - even if you hate your own parents right now - raising a kid will eventually have as much effect on your own perspectives and world view as it does on the kid.
Assuming you don't just mail it in, of course.
Unfortunately the cadets are cannon fodder for both sides. Young soldiers have always been that, and that's what they signed up for.
