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#2352541 - 05/14/15 04:17 PM Crude Humor (NSR)
john4surf Offline
Phil Edwards status
***

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 6720
Loc: CBS, CA
6 sick one's. Go no further if you're easily offended!

1. A woman in labor is screaming profanities at her husband from her
hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in
your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!"


2. I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I
spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent
$2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I
spend 50 bucks on a blow job for myself and she goes censored nuts!!!
Women, I just can't figure them out!


3. A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when their baby was born:
"I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."
The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be
rude either, but this is a pussy, not a censored photo-copier."


4. Little kid catches his mom and dad having sex. He says,
"What are you doing?" His father says, "We
are making you a little brother." The boy answers,
"Why don't you do it doggy style, and make me a
puppy!"


5. "I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with
to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm
washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your
sister-in-law."


6. Dear Dr. Phil: I was watching my next door neighbor's
wife sun bathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was
jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing
there, arms folded, watching me. Is she a pervert or what?

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#2352546 - 05/14/15 04:25 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
SrPato Offline
Miki Dora status
***

Registered: 07/12/05
Posts: 4182
Loc: San Buena Ventura
Dems sum funny jokes!!!
monkey
_________________________
Sr Pato

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack
off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."



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#2352548 - 05/14/15 04:29 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
_Pico Offline
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
*

Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 9731
Loc: SUP Nation
Thanks. I needed that
_________________________
"Are my guiding principles healthy and robust? On this hangs everything"- Marcus Aurelius

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#2352549 - 05/14/15 04:29 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: SrPato]
john4surf Offline
Phil Edwards status
***

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 6720
Loc: CBS, CA
Originally Posted By: SrPato
Dems sum funny jokes!!!
monkey


sikko cheers

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#2352551 - 05/14/15 04:31 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
ElOgro Offline
Duke status
**

Registered: 12/03/10
Posts: 16391
Keep 'em coming. applause2
_________________________
"That's their respect for me... I got leid," Rabbit Kekai

"That's all it takes--one moment." Sponge

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#2352560 - 05/14/15 04:42 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
scotter Offline
Gerry Lopez status
**

Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 1032
Loc: Southern California
Comedy gold. All of them.!!!
_________________________
"You don't surf period. Goodbye, keep your feet up Hole."

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#2352611 - 05/14/15 06:16 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
ElOgro Offline
Duke status
**

Registered: 12/03/10
Posts: 16391
Autoprax's Dad: Son, if you keep jacking off you're gonna go blind.

Autoprax: Dad, I'm over here.
_________________________
"That's their respect for me... I got leid," Rabbit Kekai

"That's all it takes--one moment." Sponge

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#2352642 - 05/14/15 07:28 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
Autoprax Online   content
Duke status
**

Registered: 01/24/11
Posts: 26925
Loc: Vagina Point
When I was young and in my prime,
I used to masturbate all the time,
Now that I am old and grey
I only masturbate twice a day

--from a Paul Theroux book, I can't remember which one.
_________________________
"You come at the king, you best not miss."

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#2352693 - 05/14/15 10:01 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
Steak Offline
Duke status
**

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 19331
Loc: NorCenCal
You realize you'll never be rehired in today's kinder, gentler, sexually inoffensive
world???

roflmao cheers
_________________________




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#2352796 - 05/15/15 12:19 AM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: Steak]
john4surf Offline
Phil Edwards status
***

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 6720
Loc: CBS, CA
Originally Posted By: Steak
You realize you'll never be rehired in today's kinder, gentler, sexually inoffensive
world???

roflmao cheers


Is that a bad thing? Oh wait, I retired last September and do not plan to work another day in what's left of this trip before visiting the other side. BTW, I get a lot of emails from guys I worked with over the decades, many are too vile for even the erBB. The occasional nugget like the OP is too good not to share with other warped minds of souless surfers cheers

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#2352797 - 05/15/15 12:23 AM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
ElOgro Offline
Duke status
**

Registered: 12/03/10
Posts: 16391
Quote:
many are too vile for even the erBB


Nah, post 'em up! Jackboots has left the building.

dancing
_________________________
"That's their respect for me... I got leid," Rabbit Kekai

"That's all it takes--one moment." Sponge

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#2356976 - 05/25/15 07:39 PM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: ElOgro]
john4surf Offline
Phil Edwards status
***

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 6720
Loc: CBS, CA
Originally Posted By: ElOgro
Keep 'em coming. applause2



1) A pervert calls the house, wife answewrs... With heavy breathing, the caller says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair?"

Woman replies, "Yes I do, he's just got back from surfing -- who shall I say is calling?"


2) In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm (Brut), people from Detroit and Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower.

In the survey, 86% of Detroit's and Chicago's inner city residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.

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#2357112 - 05/26/15 04:15 AM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
BaliIdiot Offline
Kelly Slater status
**

Registered: 01/09/08
Posts: 8029
Loc: Republik Indonesia Serikat
Keep 'em coming Chief! Jokes can't be too degenerate or off color, that's sort of the point!


A pedophile and a young girl are walking through a dark forest when the girl says "It's getting dark and I'm scared". The pedophile replies, "You're scared, I gotta walk outta here by myself!"
_________________________
Arguing with 'ertards is like playing chess against a pigeon. It will knock over the pieces, 5h!t on the board, then strut around like it's victorious.

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#2357116 - 05/26/15 06:13 AM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
BaliIdiot Offline
Kelly Slater status
**

Registered: 01/09/08
Posts: 8029
Loc: Republik Indonesia Serikat
A guy goes to the store to buy some condoms. The clerk asks, "Would you like a bag?", "No thanks", the guy replies, "she's not that ugly!"
_________________________
Arguing with 'ertards is like playing chess against a pigeon. It will knock over the pieces, 5h!t on the board, then strut around like it's victorious.

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#2357149 - 05/26/15 10:47 AM Re: Crude Humor (NSR) [Re: john4surf]
SharkBoy Offline
Miki Dora status
**

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 3703
Just no gay jokes, cum on guys
_________________________
Like a blind man at an orgie, I was gonna have to feel my way around.

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